Cory’s blog has served up filling drama fodder for five years now, ranging from ex-boyfriend correspondence to his emotionally dented account of his “mildly humiliating” experience of trading in his self-esteem to film multiple gangbang bottom scenes in Raging Stallion’s Lube Job.

While it’s been far too long since he’s been fucked on camera — I believe his last on-screen fuck was with the alcoholic furby Plushie Schwartz (pictured below) — Cory has finally returned from a months-long blogging haitus to write about things like fucking his upstairs neighbor:

I am unlocking the outside gate and I start crying. WTF? Keep it together…. Then. Lo and behold. a text from my hot upstairs neighbor. He loves big booties. We cruised each other on the subway. The first time our pants came off, we both sighed… he loves big juicy butts and do I have to tell you guys what I think about big Puerto Rican dick? I didn’t even wear clothes up to his place. He tore me up. He gave it all to me. God Blessed. Followed by some cuddle, and him napping in my arms, I scoot out the door down the two floors to my place. Amazing. Thank you, baby Jesus.

If sex stories aren’t your thing, then cling instead to the ever-moving conveyer belt of wisdom that runs through Cory’s head, realizations like “Fucking someone is like jerking off but using their asshole instead of your hand. Why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?” and “I am not just THE Pretty Pretty Princess, not just A Pretty Pretty Princess, but ONE OF MANY PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESSES out there!”

I’m glad you’re back to blogging, Cory. Now get your freaky ass to a porn shoot.

WATCH NOW:

Cory Koons in Raging Stallion’s Lube Job

RELATED:

Cory Koons’ Bottoming Tips: Take Imodium and Shut the Fuck Up
Now That ‘The Advocate’ Is Writing About Hookers, Does That Mean I Have to Start Writing About Legislatures?
Ask A Go-Go Boy: Our Unsolicited Advice Column

Cory Koons’ Blog