The 22-year-old student of bondage and submission is so invested in his kink identity that he writes about coming out twice, “first as gay and second as leather.” It’s a common practice among leathermen, particularly for power pain pervs like Derek Da Silva, who has said his sexuality is probably more SM than gay.

Ben may be sub, but he also cries easily, hates pain and believes that from certain angles it’s the bottom who’s in control. For example, don’t do this:

But then both the cbt and face slapping escalated at an exponential rate, and one that I was not equipped to deal with. The cbt was a bit more reasonable, but he worked my balls pretty hard and I could tell I was reaching my limit. The face slapping was a bit ridiculous. To give you an idea of just how rapidly the intensity escalated: he slapped me four times. The first was just above a light slap on the check. The fourth ended up leaving a bruise on my eye. And when he dealt that blow I truly recoiled. I was off his cock in a second and just trying to deal with the acute and overwhelming stinging sensation that had taken over the right half of my face.

Most of his entries are reflective rather than masturbatory, like this account of a Sir who acted more as a life coach than as a skull-fucker. Thankfully there’s occasionally some actual skull-fucking too:

For another hour, I wore the loads of two men on my face, and tasted the remnants of three fat cocks in my mouth.

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Derek Da Silva: ‘If You’re Going to Set Someone On Fire, Have a Wet Towel Ready’ 
My Dick Slept Through Mr. Leather 2010