Perez Hilton For Lean Pockets


Lean Pockets could have hired anyone to promote their sweepstakes (Tina Youthers, a talking dog, Charo), but they chose Perez Hilton—because he is the picture of health that best fits with the Lean Pockets image? (Oh, god, Lean Pockets needs an image now?!) Or is it simply because Lean Pockets wants to “go viral”? I grew up with very little, but I always had my Lean Pockets, and a deranged, shrieking bobblehead with the weirdest looking face in the history of faces is not a thing that I want to think about the next time I think about one of those deliciously grotesque slabs of high fructose corn syrup solids with gelatinous and over processed “cheese,” pig uteruses and beef penises disguised as “meat,” and genetically modified “vegetables” drenched in 560,000 grams of sodium per serving. How could you do this to me, Lean Pockets?

12 thoughts on “Perez Hilton For Lean Pockets”

  1. “Celebs” like Perez are more of a reason for me to not buy a certain product they are associated with. Thankfully there are still enough products I can choose from.

  2. Christine Marinoni

    Y’all know what I’m gonna say: Why didn’t they get “li’l man” and former Virginia fry cook Chris Porter? He looks a little like the walking embodiment of what a “Lean Pocket” would look like, with legs and a shrub on his chin.

      1. in the 6 months (I’m guessing) that I’ve been posting on here, it’s safe to say that the answer to that is no. And so long as he/she/it manages to get Chris Porter to respond to these posts, Christine will continue posting.

  3. Hang with him??? The only reason I would want to do that would be so I could get close enough to slit his throat.

  4. I think Lean Pockets found the best spokesperson….

    Lean Pockets = Fat meaty waste, horrible shell, cheap, common, with a naff jingle.

    Just like him!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Discover more from TheSword.com

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Scroll to Top