Here’s the new track, for what it’s worth.
“This Used to Be My Playground” (1992)
This played as the teary end-credits rolled in that ladies’ baseball movie with Rosie O’Donnell. It must have been a slow summer, because it actually topped the Billboard Hot 100 (of course, so did The Height’s “How Do You Talk To An Angel” a few weeks later).
“American Pie” (2000)
Perhaps the least likely song to ever be made into a dance hit, and the least enjoyable. Thankfully, however, she cut the 8-minute Don MacLean classic rock opus in half. Five years later, she’d do a similar disservice to John Lennon’s “Imagine.” We’re waiting for her to take on “Subterranean Homesick Blues” but, like, you know, with a vocoder.
“American Life” (2003)
Everyone would have hated this one even if it didn’t have that *retarded* rap at the end: “I’m drinking a Soy latte /
I get a double shot-ay /
It goes right through my body /
And you know I’m satisfied /
I drive my mini cooper /
And I’m feeling super-dooper /
Yo they tell I’m a trooper.” Full inanity here.
“Me Against the Music” (2003)
While not technically a Madonna hit, she did give Britney the kiss of death here, also possibly herpes.
“I Love New York” (2005)
But not enough to live there, huh? We’ll make no further argument and just let the lyrics stand on their own: “I don’t like cities
/ But I like New York
/ Other places make me feel like a dork
/ Los Angeles is for people who sleep /
Paris and London
/ Baby you can keep.” The pandering release didn’t even chart.
