Ryan Dixon (a.k.a. retired porn star Kameron Scott) tested HIV-positive almost four years ago, but just started taking medication last week. Waiting to start treatment is hardly uncommon given HIV medication’s notoriously unpredictable (and sometimes brutal, at first) effects on the body; many wait until their viral load starts increasing. That’s what Dixon did, and now he’s documenting his experience.
Via SFGN:
So this weekend was very interesting to say the least. What I thought was going to be a boring and shitty weekend because of how I have been reacting to my medicine turned out to be very productive and rewarding. I needed to go have fun instead of being in the house all day, and the Labor Day water balloon fight at Matty’s turned out to be better medicine than the pills I’m taking. Saw friends there, made new ones, and had a quasi-date on Monday because I met this amazing guy named Bobby while I was buying drinks for his “birthday boy” friend.
My reaction to my meds has gone from stomach trouble to making my head hurt. It’s not a “can’t function” pain, but rather an annoying and bothersome pain. I’ve figured out “take with food” means eat and then take the pills. Took me two days to figure that out. I need to stay pretty consistent with the time I take these meds starting out I’ve read, so I’ve been getting up earlier than I usually do so that I keep that time. Early to bed, early to rise, right? I’m also taking on a suggestion from a friend and seeing how I feel with these meds but increasing my water intake, while cutting my alcohol and sugar intake. Meaning more water or tea and less booze and juice. I’m a social drinker so it shouldn’t be too hard for me to keep up with that.
I go back to my doctor on Sept. 17 to do blood work and some other tests that will take up my whole day apparently. I’m hoping my numbers look good. My viral load has been on a steady rise in the last four months or so, and my CD4 count had been declining. Nothing outrageous though. My Viral load is a little over 5000 right now and my CD4 was about 550 I think. So not horrible numbers, but not what I’m used to having. I really hope to see an increase in my energy to just do daily things. I’ve noticed myself getting tired and lazy in the last year, all while my viral load and CD4 count had been changing.
[Ryan Dixon: My HIV Diary, Week 1]
Thanks for this story. It’s important and real to read that HIV meds are no walk in the park. They can be painful, expensive and un-fun. It’s rare to see any printed stories of what it’s like. Today’s adults most likely know NOBODY that’s died of AIDS. Because I did, I will always be more responsible with safe sex. Inarguably, younger peeps are just not getting the message that having a disease is hard. Barebacking seems daring, sexy and manly… until your viral load rises and you have to take gut-paining drugs to maintain some version of ‘health’.
He looks like a very intelligent and measured person. And hot too, clearly. His partner is a lucky guy.
Keep taking your meds, it will get better.
Oh and for the 1st poster insinuating bareback porn promotes people engaging in unprotected sex…i guess you haven’t heard of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! :-)
Keep looking to PORN to guide your sexual habits :-)
It looks to me, and correct me if I am wrong, but it looks like all the movies he did before he became positive were condom scenes. THe likelihood of contracting HIV on a set is so minimal unless the model went off set and fucked bareback. Most likely he contracted HIV with an home hook up.
sure ‘personal responsibility’ is an interesting concept…but the majority of people on earth are idiots and are so instant-gratificationized (i know thats not a word) and ALL of us are imperfect and make bad judgments bcuz we’re all equipped with that justification of “it won’t happen to me”
my point is this…just bcuz you, in your head, may be responsible it doesnt mean that the majority of people are. so by being so blase and saying ‘oh well its called personal responsibility’ implies that we live in a perfect world, which we dont.
and i honestly DO believe that bb porn may make a lot of people want to go out into the world and experience bb sex. this isnt like “do movies cause violent behavior” debate. bcuz that would imply that watching a movie can turn an otherwise normal/sane person into a crazy person. but this is sex. an urge we ALL have inside us pretty much 24/7 so it cant be compared to the movie debate. im in no way saying at all that we should ban BB movies or anything like that. i watch them, i like them. but i was just pointing out how apathetic and misguided ur attitude is.im just being real. this is the trade off we get for living in a free world. some of us can handle the freedom and be responsible…some of us can’t….but its definitely not as simple as saying “oh well, the company isn’t promoting unsafe sex” even though they are. promotion means publicity and if theyre putting the media out there then theyre giving it publicity. lets keep it real.
Guys,
We are all individuals and the common sense ideia that watching bareback sex will make you have bareback sex is not necessarily correct.
I’m 44 years old, that means over 20 years of active sex life, I absolutely love watching bareback sex movies, but in my private live I must have had bareback sex probably 3 or 4 times which I consider a prety low number.
Some people had bareback sex while literally all gay porn was condom covered. I don’t criticize them, it’s their decision.
I believe some people will be influenced by the kind of porn they watch, most will thing about it and will decide not to. So in my opinion, there’s no sense in demonizing bareback porn.
I’ve long looked to porn as a way of informing my sexual practices. And I’ve learned a lot by doing so–about different positions, techniques, practices, styles, fetishes, etc. Many guys do the same, especially younger guys. So I do indeed believe that porn and what it depicts have a substantial influential effect on those who watch it.
This has worked out just fine in my case because I only watch porn that features safer sex. Consider my doing so to be a form of personal responsibility–you know, that thing you seem to think I’ve never heard of.
And how are things with you? Has your approach worked successfully? Still HIV-negative? I certainly hope so, but your “it gets better” advice to Ryan makes me wonder.
Thank you! People who blame porn are cowards taking the easy way out because they can’t take personal responsibility for their own actions. Pathetic.
Good luck with it. Thinking of you.
Thanks for sharing your honest experience about what you’re going through, Ryan. Good luck to you and be strong, even during the toughest moments.
And keep on producing and promoting that bareback porn, those of you who do. You’re an inspiration to us all.