When I issued the drunken twitteration last week that “the word ‘queer’ must die” and that “‘gay’ is better,” Derek Da Silva shot me down with a terse and definitive: “uh… No.” This Twitter disagreement left me sick with pain and confusion, but after reading his interview with Gay Star Interviews, I think I understand.

“My sexuality is probably more into being into SM than it is gay,” Derek says. “I actually enjoy playing with women as long as it’s SM, but my preference is still for men over all.”

Fine, I take it back. My hairy man-ass tunnel vision might make me gay, but Derek’s sexuality has as much to do with ropes and pain as it has to do with cock and cum, and if that makes him more ‘queer’ than ‘gay’ then I’ll concede the point. Not to mention that most ‘gay’ people are petty little bitches:

Actually a lot of the gay men that I’m best friends with tend to be other fighters. They have a very different mind set than other gay guys that I’ve met. They are very much like the straight men that I hang out with from the academy. There’s just this very straight up, no nonsense raw masculinity that really fun and refreshing. There’s not a lot of bickering or backstabbing or bitchiness. It’s like, you know, you’re a warrior, a grappler and that’s that. It’s nice to be around as opposed to mainstream gay culture which can tend to be… I don’t know, I’m trying to think of the correct word that doesn’t sound mean. Gay men don’t always treat each other very well or in a brotherly fashion.

One part of being brotherly is to fill a bucket with water and place it nearby before you light a man on fire. Discussing his pyro-play scene with Scott Cambell in Mustang’s XXX (directed by Steve Cruz and Leif Gobo), Derek says:

Make sure you know the rules and what precautions and mitigations you have to take to do the scene safely. What you didn’t see on camera for that scene is that I had someone off stage with a bucket of water, with a wet towel in case Scott really started on fire.

Got it: no fire play without a wet towel. Also, no fucking without a condom.

Initially the leather community was the vanguard of safer sex and also of including our poz brothers without discriminating against negative guys or positive guys…But at the end of the day, as community leaders we still have to set an example, especially for the younger guys coming in and who have been getting very poor messages…And as I go out to these events and practically every kid I talk to in their twenties is already positive.  That’s upsetting to me…We are doing a poor job as a community of educating people and I think the leather community has really got to step up and do a good job of taking that responsibility back.

Read the full interview here.

WATCH NOW:

Derek Da Silva in XXX

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Derek Da Silva: Rough and Wild (Gay Star Interviews)