Real-Life Fireworks with Chris Damned

Chris Damned is naked.

Chris Damned is often naked—that comes with the job—but it’s still surprising, when he opens his door and invites me in, that his uncut cock is hanging loose and free. He invited me over for the Fourth of July to hang out, but I hadn’t realized the holiday dress code was quite so relaxed.

Chris burst onto the porn scene in 2020, scooping up an armload of awards in his first year, including Best Newcomer at the Grabbys. Originally from the South of France (and with the fuck-you attitude to prove it), his combination of model good looks and tattoos proved to be irresistible for some, like a good boy cosplaying as a very, very bad one. (By the way, he knows that you don’t like his tattoos. He doesn’t care.)

As anyone who follows Chris on Instagram knows, his two great passions—beyond sex—are his dog and his apartment, an eclectic mix of vintage finds and high-end pieces. His style and taste are flawless, so I felt my heart sink when he looked me up and down and said, “What are you wearing? Blue socks with those shoes? Non, non, non.”

He made up for it slightly as I walked in when he said, “That ass is looking juicy, though.”

Settling down on his couch with a glass of pinot noir (he really is as French as they come), he surfed through the channels until he found Legally Blonde: Red, White & Blue. “You look like the Fourth of July,” he said in a truly terrible (but still hilarious) impression of Jennifer Coolidge. With that on in the background, we started chatting about his career.

“I’d love to do more studio work,” he said. “I’ve just been so focused lately on my OnlyFans.” Who can blame him, when his collabs allow him to indulge his other great passion: feet. “I’ve been enjoying getting to book people myself when they come to town, but I do love the steady work at studios.”

Little wonder, considering that he initially wanted to be an actor. Actually, he initially trained in ballet before launching his career in France, where, among many other things, he performed in Chicago.

“You were in Chicago?” I said in surprise. “Like, ‘All That Jazz’ Chicago?”

Grinning a movie star smile, Chris hit mute on Reese Witherspoon taking D.C. by storm and shouted, “Hey Google, play ‘Hot Honey Rag.'” Taking a sip, he stood up and pushed his coffee table aside for a one-man dance routine with almost exactly the original choreography from the revival and the movie. He could have passed for an actual Roxie Hart or Velma Kelly if his cock wasn’t still out—though he did skip the cartwheel.

Walking back to the couch, he popped his pecs in the mirror. “I wanted to put on some muscle,” he said. “So I started getting serious about the gym. I think it’s paying off.” He flexed a few times. I would have to agree.

Back on the couch, he talked a bit more about his fan platform content, where he does bottom but only for DM. (He also recently joined Cameo.) “I never really did it for studios, so I wanted to make sure it stays like a premium service,” he said. Makes sense to me—porn lives forever, and it’s nice to see a guy who’s good at it ensuring he doesn’t devalue what he does.

As Legally Blonde 2 finished, Chris changed the channel to an episode of The Challenge, his current obsession. “Look at his fingers,” he growled about one of the contestants. “You know he’s got a thick girthy cock.” He reflexively pulled on his own dick. Having killed the bottle of wine, I wondered aloud if I should head out. “Nah, stay,” he said. “We can keep watching The Challenge if you want.”

So I stayed. And we did watch The Challenge. And he never quite made it back into his clothes before I finally left.

Be sure to check out some of Chris’ previous scenes on NakedSword!