What Should I Wear To The White Party?

White Party Palm Springs 2012 is this weekend but I don’t know what I should wear. Help me choose from one of these outfits.

I’ve plucked, trimmed, shaved, tanned, embalmed, glitter-painted, waxed, bleached, glow-sticked, and tribal-tattooed by entire body, but the hardest part of prepping for White Party is finding something to wear so that other guys will think I am “fuckable.” As previously announced, The Sword’s WP2012 coverage begins this weekend during the annual event, and choosing an outfit is the most difficult decision to make (after choosing which drugs to do on which night).

Do I go sexy or sensible? Slutty or stylish?

Do I go for a conservative white slacks and t-shirt look, or do I show off my bangin’ bikini body in a pair of sexy underwear (sponsored by Andrew Christian)?

Should I try to be “creative” and “make” something?

Maybe if I was famous, people would just design outfits for me.

Should I go for a theme or a familiar character like Superman or Sexy Native Americans?

Ugh sometimes I just wish I was a lesbian or at least had more lesbian friends.

Should I try to coordinate with all my bros and go for a “group” look?

I wish I had more friends.

What should I wear to White Party?

What are you wearing to White Party?

Do you want to coordinate with me?

12 thoughts on “What Should I Wear To The White Party?”

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  2. Mix and match:

    1. Daryl Hannah ‘Blade Runner’ raccoon eyes and/or hair.

    2. Ass-slacks and darted “scientist” top worn by Dr. David Marcus from ‘Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.’

    3. Jeffrey Dahmer glasses.

  3. Why wear any clothes at all? It’s White Party; won’t everyone eventually end up in their birthday suit anyway?

  4. It’s the White Party. Dress for the occasion by being covered in empty party favor bags. Lady Gaga would approve.

    Is David Rich the fitness hottie and underwear line entrepreneur in the first pic officially out? I know he showed off his goods in a Playgirl spread.

  5. Whatever you do, wear a condom. Palm Springs is going to be petri dish of sexually transmitted infections. You could easily get anywhere from a staph infection to HPV from rubbing against someone’s (un)impressive erection on the dance floor. Safety first! The free clinic will be busy throughout the week after.

  6. Take a leaf out of the strippers handbook and put velcro on everything. Start out the night stylish yet sexy and your one rip at the seams away from slutty when the mood strikes.

  7. I like the 5th Element look that one guy put together.

    Now I have to go throw up after having seen way more of Bobby Trendy than I ever cared to.

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