It’s 4PM on Hustlaball Sunday, and I’m at a crowded mid-town diner, sitting across from one of the evening’s big stars, Dirk Caber, and his partner Jesse Jackman. Though under normal circumstances these two gorgeous muscled porn papas might cause something of a stir amongst the other customers, the presence of dozens of costumed attendees en route to the nearby New York Comic Con allows Caber and Jackman to keep something of a low profile. Clearly, these are unusual circumstances. Caber, who, we recently noted, just filmed yet another installment of his Men.com hit series Stepfather’s Secret, and Jackman, a Titan Exclusive, are a sight to behold. Only a few hours later, Caber will be flogging a fellow star onstage at Hustlaball later and getting punished himself, while Jackman will be a proud observer. In the short period between rehearsal and costume fittings, I spoke with the pair about their worst on-set disasters, how they broke the porn news to their families, and why they think Men.com has so many gay-for-pay stars.
Adam: Dirk, how long have you been doing fetish and leather stuff?
Dirk: I came out of a relationship in spring of 2005, and just before that happened, my boyfriend discovered that I had a bit of a fascination with bondage. His opinion was that anybody who had any interest in the S&M world had to be certifiably mentally unsound. I knew three guys at the time who were in that world, and they were some of the most grounded, creative, intelligent people that I knew. I started talking to them and ended up making a beeline for that world. It’s been nine years now. In the course of that I’ve gone from being a complete neophyte with it to teaching classes, coaching couples in S&M techniques and safety. It’s ultimately what got me into porn.
From the fetish world to porn, that’s your path?
Dirk: Pretty much, yes. I had a reputation for knowing my stuff, and I brought my body back into line with itself. One particular director at Titan, Paul Wilde, befriended me online and said it was rare to find anybody who knows the shit and looks the role. He said, “If you’re ever interested, let me know.” My response was, “This? Are you kidding? Do you know how fat I am? You don’t want me on camera, trust me.” It took about two years of him reiterating the invitations for me to say, “Hmmm, maybe I should think about this.”
Jesse, you’re a Titan Exclusive right?
Jesse: Right. Third year running.
When did you guys start doing Hustlaball?
Dirk: This is my second Hustlaball. We did Hustlaball together in London a year ago. That was the first one I actually performed at. I’ve been in this venue, for the first Hustlaball, five or six years ago, when my ex performed. It was a really chaotic event. They were trying to figure out that unusual space. I’ve certainly attended before, but this is the first time I’ve been onstage in New York.
Jesse: I don’t do as many shows as Dirk does. I like being the plus-one. I like coming to observe and take it all in.
How long have you guys been together?
Dirk: Three years and how many weeks? Two weeks?
Jesse: One thousand, one hundred, and seventeen days.
How did you guys meet?
Dirk: I had been in porn about a year when we went to Folsom three years ago. He had just signed on as a Titan Exclusive. He was having a few misgivings about whether he’d done the right thing or not. We had a mutual friend in San Francisco that Jesse would stay with and he was talking to him about this and the friend said, “I’ve got somebody that you should talk to about this. He’s got his head pretty square on his shoulders and he might be able to help you figure out what you’re thinking.”
Jesse: At this point I’m rolling my eyes and thinking, “Oh great, here we go, another set-up.”
Dirk: My response to him was also, “I really don’t need you playing yenta. I don’t need a boyfriend right now. Stop it.” He’s a big old romantic who wants to see everybody happy, a sweetheart, but I was like no. No, no, no, no. But he snuck up on me with Jesse at Beatbox in San Francisco and said, “Dirk meet Jesse.” I said, “Okay, yeah, he’s hot.” We got to talking, not so much that evening, I guess, but in the course of the weekend we were both in the Titan booth at Folsom and hanging out at other venues and getting to know each other, I thought, Okay, good I’ve made a really good friend. He lives in Boston, I live in Chicago. At the end of the weekend, we all go home but we’re staying in touch. Our text messages back and forth were epic. We were on the phone a couple times, but two weekends later, he’s going to the gay flag football tournaments in Houston and Jesse stresses out a bit when he’s packing. We were on the phone until four in the morning while he was packing. He’s packed, exhausted. He really thinks, “he won’t say yes because it’s too close to the weekend already.” But he says —
Jesse: I don’t know what I was thinking but I just said, “You wanna come down to Houston with me?” It was 4AM Thursday morning, the tournament started Friday. It’s a big last minute drop-everything flight for a guy I knew a total of weeks. I just blurted it out, thinking he’d be polite in his response. He actually said, “Well actually, I don’t really have much going on this weekend. Let me think about this.”
Dirk: I looked up how expensive flights were and it was manageable. I arrived on Saturday to watch him play the last two plays of his last game. We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out, and with the team and getting to know each other very intimately. By the end of the weekend we figured out there’s actually something here.
Dirk: Next time was Halloween. Thanksgiving I met his family. He met my mom shortly after. His family invited me back for Christmas and by then we were pretty well-sealed.
What are you guys like in your families? Do they know what you do?
Dirk: Both of our families know.
Jesse: I’m an only child, me and my mom. She’s a professor and a power lifter so I sort of have the gym-workout mentality. She was competitive for a while, up until her sixties. We’re very close. She found out about the industry stuff because long story short, she saw a bank statement from a deposited check from Titan, but it was from Adult Resource Management which is their parent company. She saw it and was like, “What is this?” Being a professor, she looked it up and traced it back to the Titan homepage, which that week was featuring a video of Dirk and I right on the front page where I’m bound to a St. Andrews cross and he’s shocking me with a Violet wand.
Oh my god.
Jesse: I found out she knew in advance because I had gone over to her house during the day and I needed to look up something on her computer, and it was open to my Facebook page where I had just been talking about my activities, where I’d been and some events I’d been working. So I knew that she knew but she didn’t know that I knew that she knew. I freaked out and immediately called Dirk who was LA at the time and asked him to come to Boston now because I didn’t know what to do. Couple of days later we had dinner with her and after dinner I said, “I need to tell you something. I was over here and I had to use your computer for something and it was open to –“ and she filled in the sentence “your Facebook page.” The first thing she said was “I’m so glad we’re talking about this.” She had known for about a month. Originally, she freaked out. She said she thought a part of her had died when she saw me on this cross being tortured by my relatively new boyfriend.
Did she think Dirk talked you into all this? “Not my baby, he couldn’t do that.”
Jesse: Exactly. Only child of a Jewish mother.
Dirk: But Jesse was saying, “Okay I know she’s been looking at it for a while. I’ve seen her since then, she must still love me. It must be okay somehow.”
Jesse: Initially her reaction was full of the concern, “What has Dirk done to my baby?” But then she started reading my blog, and by reading some of the stories I’d written about with my interactions with fans and about my experiences, she saw that there were a lot of great things that had come about. She learned about how I met Dirk and how he changed my life. She loved him. She’d known him for about six months at that point. She was able to put it in perspective. She doesn’t quite understand it all. She’s of a generation that’s not quite as sexually liberal as we are these days. But she’s always supportive. She loves me no matter what. She follows the blog and will talk to me about the articles I’ve written. I’ll talk to her about them. I wrote a story about her on the Huffington Post on Mother’s Day.
What about you, Dirk?
Dirk: My family I was keeping it on the down low for a while there. I’m definitely the black sheep of the family. I have two siblings, both with kids. I’m the oldest too. For a long time I was held up as the model of the bunch, but I’m also the one who’s completely uncontrollable, and off to do his own thing. But as Jesse was starting to become more and more known, I started to wonder if it was only a matter of time before somebody held up a picture of Jesse and me and said, “Is this your son?” I figured it would be best if they heard it from me. I sat them down before Christmas last year. I said “I need to tell you about this. First of all, these are the really wonderful things that have happened to my life because of this.”
The cart before the horse.
So I built it up and said, finally, “So what I’m telling you is, I’m in porn.” My mother’s first response was, “Oh god, I was so afraid you were gonna tell us you had cancer.” So I’m telling them about this. They’re far more fascinated with the whole thing than freaked out about it. My mother’s response was like Jesse’s, mostly about the health ramifications and safety and I told her about the studios we work with and how concerned they were with both of those things. My father gets on his computer and looks us up and finds us everywhere and goes, “My god you guys are famous.” He’s fascinated by the technical aspect of how you put together porn. His final word was that the only thing he doesn’t like is that he has absolutely nobody he can brag about this to.
Dirk, I feel like you’re becoming really well known for your Men.com daddy stuff. Stepfather’s Secret is a big hit and Son Swap — I can’t tell you what a huge load I shot to the second episode of that.
Awesome. Working with Luke Adams, wow, what a sweetheart.
What I think is so interesting in that scene is that I really felt like it was the first scene in a while where the acting was good, the writing, the build up to that story, it takes a good six-seven minutes before you get to the sex scenes. It feels really organic and believable. By the time the sex starts I’ve already shot my load.
Dirk: Awesome.
I’m curious what your experience is like working with Men.com? You’ve done some of your best work for them.
Dirk: They’ve been very generous with me. Possibly the ability to do the B-roll, all the things that lead into the sex and provide the sex with a story, that’s probably part of why they value me.
Jesse: You had a non-sexual role in one of their films too.
Right. With Rafael Alencar. For me though, you go back and look at porn 15-20 years ago or even further back then that, and go back to the days when porn was looking for creative ways to keep guys in the theater and look at the storylines they would create or the interesting ways they would have of presenting sex. The amount of creativity that went into everything around the sex, that was so much more a part of the filming. The actual sex used to be a relatively small part of the film. Nowadays its all very scene based. You go online and rent the one scene you want to watch. Nobody wants to spend huge amounts of time watching dialogue first, you want to get on with it.
Also back in the day they didn’t do twenty minutes from this angle, twenty from that. They cut it like real sex. It would take time for the sex to happen and then it would be quick.
It’s a lost art now. The reward was the sex not just the cumshot. It’s fun to have something like Men.com which does a little bit of scripting. We make it as brief as possible and of course with anything like Son Swap where there’s an older figure and a younger figure, you do need to set it up so that nobody’s looking at it and thinking it’s pederasty. That kid’s of age, he knows what he’s doing. In many cases, like the one with Luke Adams, it’s the kid who initiates. It becomes really important to establish certain things.
Lots of young guys have that fantasy.
How many of us at a young age wished we had somebody? My first sexual experience was with a guy my own age, and neither of us had a clue what we were doing. We were on a dock in the middle of a lake. We were trying to figure out — okay, we know this piece goes inside of that. Does it involve needing a foreskin? How does it work? It was probably on our third night — I don’t know how we didn’t injure each other trying, but we realized, um, maybe this is what KY is for? How many times I wished I had somebody who would say, this is how it’s done.
Jesse: I also think a lot of people share that experience of fantasizing about their gym teachers, other teachers and not being able to have that experience. Something like Stepfather’s Secret takes that fantasy and, I don’t want to say exploit it but –
It capitalizes on it.
A lot of us have this unfulfilled experience, and now watching as an adult can identify with it and appreciate it more.
Is Luke Adams your favorite co-star at Men.com?
Dirk: That’s a good question. Billy Santoro may be my favorite. Luke is way up there.
I was just watching the movie you did with Billy.
Dirk: Neighbors.
Jesse: You had great things to say about Scott Harbor too.
Dirk: Scott Harbor was great. He has a little trouble with his cumshots at the end of scenes, but other than that he’s sweet, sexy, friendly, straight but has no difficulty with the content he’s working with. He’s really awesome. He also has a very interestingly shaped ass.
I feel like some of what people rag on Men.com for is that there are a lot more gay-for-pay stars. Do you find that to be the case, and is it a problem?
I don’t find them a problem, usually. There’s certainly nothing that they’re doing that causes a problem. Most of them are very professional. It is a little daunting when, okay, I’m into my scene partner, and it’s hot. Part of porn is making a connection with the other person, because you’re about to stick your dick in them. You have to have some kind of friendliness. Part of that is knowing you turn them on as well. When you don’t have enough tits to turn on your scene partner, it can be a little frustrating, when you film for thirty minutes, he loses his hard-on because he’s not turned on, and he has to go take a shot or watch titty porn. In the meantime I lose my hard-on. I don’t understand why its necessary to hire straight boys to do this when there’s probably huge numbers of perfectly willing and capable gay men who can do the job.
Jesse, do you have the same problem?
Jesse: No. Titan has a policy of working with only gay performers. With the gay-for-pay people there’s levels and degrees. You’re taking a chance that there’s not going to be that connection. There are some people like Scott Harbor who are awesome and laidback.
Dirk: Yeah, there are guys out there who are just sexual beings. I didn’t get to do a scene with him but Paddy O’Brien was an absolute sweetheart. We were supposed to do a scene and circumstances intervened and we weren’t able. Ricky Sinz, I think if it had two legs and he could split them he could fuck it. That’s not a bad thing!
Jesse: I understand Titan’s desire to work with only gay performers because it takes that element of chance out of it. I don’t understand why other studios choose to work with gay-for-pay performers, but hey, sometimes the chance can pay off big.
Dirk: The only theory I have with Men.com is that they are part of a larger umbrella company that does mostly straight porn. Men.com is their one little gay red-headed stepchild. Because the straight side is not as constrained about safer sex rules as the gay side, but they are concerned about transmission of diseases. The straight side generally requires testing for diseases. And though Men.com is very strict on set, they don’t work with any HIV positive performers, so I just wonder if it’s simply easier to hire people who aren’t going to be quite as exposed. As a result there are a slew of really great performers that they can’t hire because they’re positive.
Jesse: It’s a shortsighted policy, though. Sex on a porn set is the safest sex you’ll ever have. You have multiple people looking at what you’re doing with a high definition video camera. If there were anything potentially risky they’re going to know about it right away and they’re going to be able to treat it, give you a fresh condom if you need it, etc. It seems like overkill to not allow HIV positive performers. I don’t know what status my scene partners are and honestly, I don’t care.
What is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you on set?
Jesse: I’ve got a good one. I was filming with Joe Gage. Caught in the Act. Jesse Ares was a special request of mine. I met him at Folsom and wanted to work with him. The schedule worked out. We’re doing the oral part of the scene and he’s a rather hung individual. At the end of the oral scene, I puked. In my mouth. A lot of it. I thought, shit I’m going to ruin this scene if anyone gets a hint that that happened. So I closed my mouth real tight, and swallowed it all. And no one knew, nobody was the wiser. That was pretty horrifying, like, for Joe Gage of all people.
Dirk: The closest to a disaster I’ve come, is that you get one cumshot and you have one chance to catch it. One of the companies I work has a lot of rules about where bodily fluids go. They don’t do facial cumshots. I was in a scene with Dario Beck for thrill ride. He’s lying flat on a picnic table. I’m jerking off over him. I know I’m aimed at one o’clock. His head’s at 12 o’clock. But it still comes out and I’m not usually a long distance shooter and it still went directly into his face. All I hear is the director from behind the monitor go, “Oh shit!” Dario just laid back like nothing happened. We had to look at the three cameras and found one that didn’t show you where it landed. So they couldn’t extend the cumshots like normal.
You also escort, right, Dirk? Is there a market for the daddy rentboy?
Oh absolutely. But it’s not often that I get a young guy hiring me looking for a daddy. Most of my clientele is people my age or older, who want somebody who has a little more culture and conversation. Often sex never enters into the occasion. They want you there on the bed curled up and talking.
Jesse: Half-escort, half-therapist. A lot of talking and listening, at least that’s how Dirk describes it.
How do you two keep your relationship afloat?
Jesse: When we were getting started, the director Paul Wilde, who was already a good friend of Dirk’s and had just met me, cautioned Dirk against a relationship.
Dirk: He had seen so many porn couples not survive because the relationship was based on what you did as a porn stars, and he said, “This never ends well.” It’s not even about personal jealousy, it’s about professional jealousy. At any given moment, one of you is gonna have a star on the ascendant and the other is going to be on the wane. And you’re going to be looking at the other, saying, “What’s wrong with me?” He says, “That really will tear people apart. And if the only thing you have in common is this industry, and this industry is not a long-term career for anybody. The average career is two years. When you don’t have something else to sustain it, what do you have?” Walking into this warned, we were able to think about this and say, you know, we have so much in common besides just porn. We have our family alliances. We have a mutual dorky nerdiness. An appreciation of music and arts. A whole slew of stuff. We said we would give it a try. As far as the professional jealousy thing goes, it just became a running joke between the two of us that at any given moment, one of will look at the other and say, “I’m feeling a little left out here.” Two weeks later, the other will be saying the same thing.
Jesse: The most difficult part of the relationship is really a normal thing for most couples. It’s the traveling. Dirk’s away a lot. He films a lot more than I do. I’m home alone. But that’s typical and what every couple goes through. I miss him terribly and am so happy when he comes back. He’s going to Berlin soon for a week and half and I’m going to miss him like crazy. But if that’s the worst problem then we’re doing pretty well.
Adam Baran is a filmmaker, blogger, former online editor of Butt Magazine and co-curator of Queer/Art/Film. His short film JACKPOT, about a porn-hunting gay teen, won Best Short Film at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and was recently featured on The Huffington Post, Queerty, and Towleroad, among others. He is a features programmer at Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival and NewFest in New York. In his spare time, he complains about things to his friends. “Fisting for Compliments”, his weekly musings about the intersection of sex, art, porn, and history, will appear every Monday on TheSword. You can contact him at Adam@TheSword.com and follow him on Twitter at @ABaran999. Check out his previous columns in the Fisting For Compliments Archive.
Men.com even worse than I suspected. Definitely not a community company, very anti-gay. No self-respecting gay guy should ever work for them again.
Jesse Jackman is one gorgeous guy. These interviews over the past couple of months have been some of the best ever…finally some of the guys who are on the scene are getting to speak out and we are finding out about them. Love these !
-Hindi ko inakala na magugustuhan ko sila, napaka honest ng mga sagot nila. Nalaman ko na dapat suportahan ng mga gay consumers ang Titan Men at dahil sa pag-ibig magagawa natin ang lahat. Dapat din nating kainisan ang mga g4p na modelo katulad ni Vadim Black at mga kampon nya. Mas ok talaga mag interview ng mga bakla kesa g4p na mga ingrato at nakadroga pa.
-Wow I didnt know that Im going to like these guys, they answered those questions in all honesty. It made me realized some things like Titan Men is a wonderful studio and true love conquers all no matter how far or who we are. Also, we gay should hate those g4p leeches like Vadim Black and their insecure, self hating idiotic fans who treating them as Gods. Lastly, this interview shows that gay models had more sense and colorful lives than interviewing leeches who were on drugs and talking lies.
I agree, so refreshing! Nothing better than a conversation with mature, intelligent GAY men.
Each of them was the cover model for a book by best-selling gay author Andrew Grey: Jesse on “Inside Out,” and Dirk on “Upside Down.” Terrific covers, hot books. http://andrewgreybooks.com/publication-category/broncos-series/
Wait, men.com does not hire HIV+ pornstars??? Is that a new policy, or one that has been around since the inception of the studio???
If it’s a longstanding policy, then how did Trenton Ducati manage to work there? Although Trenton’s status has never been 100% verified, all signs seem to point that he is HIV+. He’s avoided answering people’s questions, and has even been snappy about it, and there is that quote from duckface that his barebacking policy only allows performers of the same HIV status to perform together. Trenton filmed with HIV+ performer Blue Bailey.
Also Titan only hiring gay performers is not entirely true. They hired Leo Giamani, one of the most boring performers ever in gay porn. Also Diesel’s sexuality has always been in question, and it seems that he is more bisexual, but certainly not 100% gay.
Gosh, I hope you’re this good at investigating matters that are actually your business, sxg, considering how good you are at sleuthing through gossip, rumor and innuendo about these guys’ HIV status which is none of your business.
Yeah, they keep singing that “only hire gays” tune, but they have hired MANY bisexuals, even some G4P guys. For example Ty Roderick, Tony Buff, Marcus Ruhl, Race Cooper, and a bunch of others. This policy must not be that old either because their old films had even more.
The thing about Men.com is interesting. I wonder if that only applies to their American shoots because the U.K. one would be kind of hard to believe it was true too.
I can’t speak to the others you mentioned as I don’t know them personally, but Coop (Race Cooper) is most certainly NOT gay-for-pay. He and his partner Thom are amazing people, some of the best you’ll ever meet. They’re also really good friends of me and Dirk. Thom used to live in Boston and we would hang out with them all the time… now that they’ve moved to California we miss them terribly. So Coop, gay-for-pay? Um, no.
I believe Sam123 was referring to Cooper as one of the many bisexual guys Titan employs. Race mentioned that he likes to have sex with women on a regular basis, I believe he said at least once a week.
So I know this woman who’s married to a man, has kids, has pretty much only had sex with men her whole life… but there’s one woman in her life she has a special emotional connection with. And yeah, sometimes they’re intimate together. My friend still identifies as straight… but she’s certainly not narrow. In other words, she’s “hereroflexible.” I have to believe there are also some men out there who identify as gay, not bisexual, who occasionally play with women. Sexuality is so much more fluid than a black-and-white affair; it’s a spectrum, and to me it’s kind of a shame that people are often pigeonholed into such rigid definitions.
pornbit is right, and that’s what I was referring to. Appreciate your response Jesse, but unfortunately I absolutely do not agree. You’re right about sexuality being fluid, but I think labels are important in this regard. For the same reason so many gay men believe those straight married men who like to secretly have sex with other men but are still “totally straight” is about as bullcrap as “gay” men who like to sleep with women on the side. It’s offensive to me as a gay guy to say that I would seek out and enjoy sex with women and still see myself and want others to myself as a gay male. It just doesn’t work that way. The truth is that the majority of people who fall somewhere not at either end of the spectrum are simply bisexual because that’s just what it’s defined to be despite what they choose to identify as. Attraction to both sexes, simple. It’s not rigid or pigeonholed in my opinion, just simple and straightforward. Trying to come up with new definitions of sexuality to suit oneself because of not wanting to identify as something due to x-phobia is worse, and feeds certain phobias even more.
In Race Cooper’s case, he mentioned that he was reluctant to be more honest about his bisexuality due to some sort of biphobia in gay porn industry. He knew he was bisexual, but chose to simply call himself gay instead. That’s a problem in my opinion.
A “straight” woman who is regularly intimate with another woman is bisexual. A “gay” man who occasionally plays around with a woman is also bisexual. Whether it’s a Kinsey 2 or 5, it’s still within the range of bisexuality. If you’re sexually attracted to both genders, you’re bisexual, period. Doesn’t matter the number, whether it’s 1 woman compared to 20 men, or vice versa. Bisexuals needs to stop self-identifying as straight or gay and start owning up to their true identities. One of the reasons we gays tend to resent bisexuals is specifically because of that reason.
Sam123, bravo to you excellent and well-worded response above. You explained it much, much better than I did.
And Marcus Ruhl stated on his twitter a few times he’s gay not Bisexual.
Haha That’s funny and so very wrong. He’s bisexual, yes, but more into women and especially trannies.
Killing that rumor now….
I’m 100%percent gay…Please don’t disrespect me with UTTER lies…
A proud, masculine, TOP?, hot, GAY MAN. Thank you!
Rumor? You were the one who said you were bisexual, or even danced around labeling your sexuality into explaining what pretty much sounded like you were bisexual.
Yes, Diesel even mentioned on his own personal blog years ago that he was into women as well as men. “100% gay”? More like 100% liar.
There’s no medical test for orientation. Titan works with actors who identify themselves as gay. I suspect a handful of guys might have claimed to be gay just to get the opportunity to film, only to have the studio (and the world) realize that they’re actually gay-for-pay. Think about it another way: I had everybody fooled into thinking I was straight until I came out at age 25. If an actor really wants to turn that around — to convince a studio that they’re gay in order to get work — I’m sure it’s possible, but people can be good at covering up their real sexuality. I was! Titan does their best to vet every performer before working with them, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a small number of g4p actors slip through without the studio’s knowledge.
“I had everybody fooled into thinking I was straight until I came out at age 25.” Had sex with females as a gay male just to fool them?
Heh heh… not that far. But I did date women, and even after I started coming out to my inner circle of friends in my early 20s, I would still take along a female friend as a “date” to family functions and such as a smokescreen. I should note that these friends who knew full well I was gay and offered to help me out. I just wasn’t quite ready to come out to my family yet. Now, everybody knows. And everybody is super cool about it. Love is love, after all.
Nice couple/intelligent interview! Since mention was made of the typically short duration of porn careers, any thoughts about what happens post-porn…or is porn just a part-time gig? BTW: Some of the happiest couples I know include one partner who travels regularly.
Thank you! That’s a really good question. A lot of the guys I know who do porn full-time – or close to full time – do it as a means to an end. For example, some of the younger guys work for a couple years to pay their way through college. But a lot of people are surprised to learn that most actors actually *don’t* do porn full-time. We already have careers – Dirk (professional musician) and myself (senior software engineer) included – and are simply doing it got the experience, for the little bit of extra pocket money… and because it’s fun. We’ll still have our regular jobs when our porn “sidelines” inevitably end. So, for us, life after porn is a lot like life before porn. It’s just, well, life… without the porn. ;)
i cant seem to get that the parents went on line after finding out. its one thing to have to accept your adult child has gone in another direction and does porn, but to look up on the net pictures of them have crazy bondage sex ..sounds wierd to me…WHY would a parent want to see their kids fucking?
I don’t know if it’s the case here but did you heard about disfunctional families and its despise and disregard on moral matters. Sometimes children don’t have even a chance to choose the right path due to unawareness of family values. To be a prostitute in the majority of the cases ( we aren’t talking here about people that are forced to prostitute themselves )is going against the morals of our society, is place yourself in the edge using your free will as a immoral/amoral one. For me, family values still are the roots of a sane behavior.
…and if I was a mother of only one gay son and that said ‘dearest’ son was doing porn I’ll think twice about place me against it for fear to lose him and end alone.
My mom didn’t go looking for it… she found it in the course of her research. As far as I know, that clip of me and Dirk from “Loud and Nasty” was the only clip she’s ever seen or gone looking for. She does read my posts on the blog and in HuffPost, though, and in that sense she stays connected to what I’m doing in the industry without watching her “angel lamb” (as she still calls me, even at 41) in my videos.
Dirk and Jesse seem to assume that simply by pairing gay performers on a porn set there will be chemistry between them b/c they’re both gay. That’s just not the case. Not all gay men are attracted to all other gay men. Not all gay porn actors are attracted to and have chemistry with all other gay porn actors. Pairing up gay guys on set doesn’t make for automatic chemistry. It doesn’t mean there won’t need to be breaks for the gay guys to restart their erections. It doesn’t mean the gay guys will enjoy the sex. It doesn’t mean the guys will be into each other. It just means the guys will both be gay.
And I think studios use gay4pay guys b/c there are more of them than gay guys and there are more of them who are willing to appear on camera. Plus since porn has exploded in product output there are more men working in gay porn than ever before. It’s not feasible for all of the studios and other outlets currently churning out gay porn to work exclusively w/gay actors. There aren’t enough to go around.
Oh, and another reason studios use g4p guys – plenty consumers like them. Str8 women who fantasize about having the guys they see on screen – they want the guys to be str8. Str8 and just waiting for some pussy! And, of course, gay guys who fantasize about turning out str8 guys. And bi/bi-curious/closeted guys who can relate more directly to the guys on camera b/c they like pussy too. And there are other reasons these consumers dig g4p guys, I’m sure.
I have no problem w/g4p guys in gay porn as long as the porn product gets me off like it’s supposed to. I try to put politics aside when my dick is hard. If I’m thinking about any non-orgasm-related agenda when I watch gay porn it means the porn sucks. B/c if the porn is good I’m only thinking about what I’m seeing and any fantasies it creates. And I’m too busy jerking off to be outraged about ___.
You’re right, TOD, just because both performers are gay doesn’t mean they’re going to have chemistry. But I’d venture to say that the odds are WAY better that that two gay performers are going to click than one gay and one g4p actor. Also, one of the things I didn’t mention in the interview is that Titan tries to cast two performers who they think are going to be into each other; it’s not just a random pairing. Personally, I’m attracted to thick, muscular, hairy guys; Titan knows this and has done their best to pair me accordingly, and I know they do the same for scene partners who are interested in me. They also try to match based on character, knowing if we have similar (quirky) interests we’re more likely to connect. It doesn’t *always* work, I’m told, but with me at least so far they’ve done a really great job, which is kinda why I love working for them. They’ve paired me with a string of pretty amazing guys, which is super fun for me, and gives them a better product in the end.
I agree – greater chance of chemistry on-set when 2 gays are paired. And Titan’s method of matching actors who’ve chosen each other sounds like a good idea. I know some other outfits try that too when they can work it out.
I think you missed his point, They said there is less of a chance that two gay men won’t have chemistry on set, than gay4payers with gay men. It’s true that when working with most straight men in gay porn it can take longer and can be frustrating for everyone working. There is less of a chance of two gay men having those problems while filming because they’re gay.
I disagree there, Dev. I don’t think a shoot is likely to go faster or more smoothly or drama-free simply b/c the actors are gay. In fact I can see where having gay actors could cause problems that can prolong a shoot – yrs ago I read an interview w/Chi Chi (I think) where she complained that working w/gay actors on a gay porn shoot can be frustrating b/c the gay guys actually expect the sex to feel good and they expect to be into it and so they can be demanding. Like if a director wants the actor(s) in a certain position they may object b/c they don’t like having sex in that position off-camera b/c it doesn’t feel the best. But the g4p guys are just there to do the job and don’t really expect to enjoy it and so they aren’t as picky about doing it in certain positions. They may be picky about not doing certain activities (btw gay guys can be picky about that too – I know gays who don’t suck dick, for example) but generally w/in the realm of their consented acts they’re less likely to object b/c doing __ doesn’t feel good. They don’t expect any of it to feel good or they don’t expect it like gays can. Also, gay guys are just as prone to erection problems as g4p guys – especially the longer a shoot drags on.
My point is hiring gays actors to shoot gay porn doesn’t guarantee a smooth, easy shoot. And hiring g4p guys doesn’t necessarily mean a shoot will be problematic. It all varies wildly by person from what I can tell.
I’d say the parents as portrayed, not believable in the least! Travel to some degree, but would be a non-relationship if partner were off shooting porn, not typical for 99.5% of couples, gay or otherwise. I can appreciate the relationship they have since they seem to be equally yoked, gay, and older adults who can handle what they do, and don’t have other “interests” that is incompatible to the sex worker lifestyle. A rarely in these interviews!
They are one attractive couple who come across as supportive and understanding. Didn’t know much about either one (aside from of their work) so that was a really enlightening interview.
Great interview! They both sound like great guys. And I would totally hire Dirk (and Jesse too! Tag-team!)
”I don’t understand why its necessary to hire straight boys to do this when there’s probably huge numbers of perfectly willing and capable gay men who can do the job.”
I agree with him. Do gay porn studios think gay4payers making us turn on ? Hell no.
Because we already know they’re watching straight porn to get hard. Not turned on by scene partners.
They can’t make gay porn if there’s no straight porn at first place and it really turns me off.
That’s why i hate behind the scenes of gay porn dvds, like Bel Ami, Randy Blue, William Higgins etc…
I didn’t wanna know actors watching straight porn during the shoot. Really killed my gay porn fantasy.
Even worst when they cutaway to show the tired “straight” porn they are supposed to be watching and some female screaming in “delight,” – limp! And then the “interview” about what type of girl they like and what he liked doing to her. Does that get any of you off and why???
I’m not talking about the “interview”. Behind the scenes tought me how gay porn is made.
It goes like, Kissing→stop the camera and watch straight/lesbian porn to get hard→blow jobs→fucking→stop the camera and watch straight/lesbian porn to make a cum shot.
Some gay4payers are still staring at pc/tv screen playing straight/lesbian porn when the cum shot scene. The worst thing is they don’t even try to pretend enjoying gay sex or be into scene partners. Some are too afraid of touching another man’s cum and i can see they don’t wanna have sex with man from their attitude.
i like sex gay
I agree as well. We should be giving the work to our community first.