Here is an article from Fab magazine that calls you a racist for not being sexually attracted to Asians. But since when did having an aesthetic preference make you a racist?
You visit a hookup or dating website, cruise somebody’s profile and are confronted with the list: no fats; no femmes; no Asians; no blacks; masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting, you be too; non-scene; and on and on. What we find is a lot of hate when all we want is head.
Oh brother. Aren’t the majority of people who type “no blacks” in their profiles more likely to just be plain old stupid rather than “sexually oppressive” h8rs? Rude and socially inept, yes. But racist?
The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.
Gay sexual oppression is catalogued painfully on the Douchebags of Grindr blog, which sorts prejudiced profiles based on everything from racism and sexism to self-hating homophobia. But even though we see it everywhere, most people are as willing to admit to the exclusionary aspects of their desires as Lindsay Lohan is to submit to drug testing — statements are qualified by “Sorry, that’s just what I’m into” or “No hard feelings, it’s just my preference.”
Not sure how much more of this I should take seriously when Lindsay Lohan analogies are in play, but what’s wrong with having a preference? Don’t tell me I can’t have a preference! I don’t want to have sex with women. No hard feelings. Does that make me a misogynist? The same people who, presumably, believe that sexual preference is genetically pre-determined don’t also believe that that which is visually stimulating isn’t also hard-wired into our brains? What makes someone an authority on how to delineate when and where something stops being a “preference” and starts being racist? The hell?
[Matillda Sycamore] says that while people have the right to say what they’re attracted to, they have a responsibility to watch how they say it. “On the one hand, people are stating their preference, but on the other, these are not neutral terms. If we were living in a culture where everything was the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when sexual preference reinforces dominant systems of power in an unquestioning way, that’s when it becomes problematic.”
Michael J Faris, co-author of the essay “Fucking with Fucking Online: Advocating for Indiscriminate Promiscuity,” believes that sexual oppression too often is unexamined. “Desiring one thing more than another I don’t see as a bad thing,” he says. “When you say, ‘I won’t date a black person or won’t sleep with a black person,’ that’s what I see as being racist. If you can’t interrogate your desire, that’s a problem.”
Oh, bullshit. These people, with their essays. You want to fight racism? Start by getting off Grindr and going out into the real world, where actual racism actually exists. Because there’s a difference between “I’m not sexually attracted to black guys” and “I’m not going to hire this black guy because he’s black.”
Faris suggests that, instead of using negative terminology that describes what they don’t want, people should explain what they do want and deal with others as individuals. If you aren’t attracted to Asian men because stereotypes suggest they are smooth and you prefer hairy men, you could write, “I like hairy men” on your profile, not “no Asians.” “I think being explicit with what you’re into is more inclusive. It might mask things and make them invisible and harder to discuss. But it still makes things more inclusive,” says Faris.
No! Now you’re just encouraging people to lie (more than they already are lying about other things like their weight or their dick size). Plus, people who use Grindr and Craiglist are too desperate and impatient to be that crafty. Furthermore, why should we infringe upon people’s right to free speech? If someone is truly racist, I’d like to know right off the bat. Why dictate what kind of dumb shit they publicly reveal about themselves? Isn’t it better to know–from the beginning–that someone is a racist, or at least an idiot? Isn’t it a good thing that people are allowed to type “no Asian dudes” in their profiles so you know that they are fucking retarded? Oops, sorry, “mentally disabled.”
Of course, I’m not sure how serious of a problem any of this is since a) I don’t hook up with people from my cell phone, and b) I’m white! (*phew*).