…I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.”
Andrew Mendoza, arrested in Texas after having sex with a horse.
His statement to a Wharton County sergeant:
I then got into the pen with the horse. I dumped out the water bucket and turned it upside down and put it behind the horse. I then moved the horse’s tail and put my dick, which was already hard, in the horse and started fucking the horse. […] I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby. I ain’t going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.
This was the only time I fucked the neighbor’s horse.
(Literally—BYE. Mendoza later hanged himself in jail after a subsequent arrest for indecency with a child.)
His full “horseman” statement:
This is the perfect opportunity to post a clip I somehow stumbled upon (don’t ask) at least five years ago that is, to this day, still the sickest (yet horrifyingly funny?) shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
I call it a “hubba hubba.”