Gay Porn Blind Items: Holiday Edition!

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Ho ho ho! Welcome to a very special Holiday Edition of The Sword’s Gay Porn Blind Items. Can you figure out who’s been naughty and who’s been nice?  Make the yuletide gay with the last Blind Items of 2012!

—Which little-known and even lesser-liked gay porn couple is so desperate for attention, the two are planning on using their Christmas tree trunk as a giant dildo to penetrate each other with during a live show on their Flirt4Free channel?

—This Swordie award-winning gay porn star really wants to tell his family that he’s a gay porn star, but rather than deal with the embarrassment of telling people in person, he’s having copies of his gay porn DVDs gift wrapped and sent to each of his family members for Christmas!

—Which gay-for-pay porn star is so desperate to ensure that his four young children have a special Christmas, he’s agreed to bottom for the first time in a gangbang orgy so that he can earn twice his usual scene rate ($300)?

—Which mega gay porn studio is so desperate for publicity, they’re planning a holiday “Egg Nog Enema” video in which an entire punch bowl full of Egg Nog is inserted into one gay porn star’s asshole?

—This former gay porn legend is flat broke, but he’s too old and too out of shape to work in gay porn or do live club appearances. Luckily, he’s been able to make ends meet by working as a mall Santa in Fort Lauderdale.

—This extremely well-hung African-American gay porn star plans to celebrate Kwanzaa for the first time this year, but his Wiccan twink porn star boyfriend dumped him after he wouldn’t agree to also observe the Winter Solstice on December 21st.

—Which Jewish gay porn is so desperate for attention, he plans on septuple-penetrating himself with a menora?

—Which gay porn star known for his emotional meltdowns and outbursts on Twitter has made a New Year’s resolution to finally go on anti-psychotic medication?

—This gay porn power bottom puts on so many holiday pounds each year, the studio where he’s an exclusive has been forced to replace his Christmas candy with chocolate laxatives! (Not Tommy Defendi.)

—Which gay porn studio’s White Elephant Gift Exchange resulted in a violent brawl between two photo editors over a copy of Adobe Photoshop CS6?

 
 

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14 Responses to “Gay Porn Blind Items: Holiday Edition!”

  1. half porco says:

    1-Porter Potty and Smelly Vault
    2-Cody Cummings
    3-Kurt Wild
    4-Treasure Island
    5-Cody Cummings
    6-Diesel Washington
    7-Michael Lucas
    8-Spencer Fox AND Spencer Reed
    9- I don’t know any fat power bottom in gay porn , sadly
    10-Falcon

  2. gnormie says:

    1-10: fake

  3. bruce says:

    ^ Porter Potty! lol

  4. sxg says:

    1- definitely not Chris & Samuel. I think it might be Jayden Grey and whatever he’s dating atm. Trying to browse flirt4free for a possible answer but no such luck.

    2- I could see either Cody Allen, Christian Wilde and Tommy Defendi doing that lol

    3- No clue. Sebastian Young maybe?

    4- Could be Treasure Island, but could also be Dark Alley or even Hot House/Club Inferno

    5- Taking a guess on this one and saying it’s Tom Chase. He gained a lot of weight when I last saw him on The Big One, so I can imagine him getting bigger.

    6- Agree it’s Diesel Washington

    7- If Michael Lucas hasn’t bottomed yet, then there’s no chance he’ll debut his 1st bottoming scene on film doing it like this lol. Only other Jewish performer I know of is Jesse Jackman, but he isn’t that desperate to do that.

    8- Spencer Fox, Riley Price, Sebastian Young, Jake Genesis

    9- Dylan Roberts? He still goes a bit up and down on his weight.

    10- Definitely Falcon

    • Jay says:

      Tom Chase lives in Texas. My Guess on Number 5 is Parker Williams–he lives in Ft Lauderdale. The only other “name” porn model that lives down there is Matthew Rush…and I don’t think it’s him.

  5. Number 6.

    That is not Me!!I don’t have a BF….

    As soon as they say Extremely Hung African American everybody assumes its Me…Well its not!!! Thanks for the coverage people..

    Shit I can’t even make the Epic Twitter Melt down list or Epic Blogger War anymore. I’m getting soft, need to make sure I change that in 2013.

  6. aslogan says:

    There was a good run of “Which X is so desperate…” and then it stopped. It bothers the OCD side of me. Also it makes me want to turn these into gay porn Yo Momma jokes. Yo Gay Porn Star so desperate, he shovin a menorah up his ass and tryin to get paid for 8 days of work!

  7. Bull says:

    LMAO! It’s a fun read!

  8. robirob says:

    Those BIs are as real and juicy as my twelve inch cock.

  9. teeMDV says:

    1) Bryan Cole & Duncan Black
    3) Johnny Rapid
    4) Raging Stallion
    5) Jeff Stryker
    6) Diesel Washington (and NO I don’t watch your sorry Ike Turner looking ass)
    7) “Michael” Lucas. Sorry about your lost foreskin and the disambiguation of your name.
    8) Jake Lyons / Spencer Fox (get help)
    9) Ryan Raz. Is he still even in porn?

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