Dear Mom: I’m A Gay Porn Star

steven_riley

Last week I propositioned over fifty gay porn stars.

Oh, there’s another clause to that sentence. Last week I propositioned over fifty gay porn stars by asking them about their experiences when they “came out” as adult performers to their friends or families. For some it was a double whammy–coming out not only as a gay porn star, but also as just plain old gay, too.

Throughout the week, I’ll be posting the responses that I got. Some of them are surprisingly funny, while others, like Steven Daigle’s…not so much. In a business built around sexually objectifying its product, does hearing about porn stars’ “real” lives detract from their appeal, or does it enhance it?

 

Steven Daigle:

So you wanna hear my porn “coming out” story? Well it’s a disappointing story   because it never officially happened. Prior to me being on Big Brother, I had a  falling out with my parents and sister about me being gay, which has resulted in long term non-communication between all of us. Why a falling out? Because I was gay and they refused to acknowledge it. My family is cursed with the most stubborn streak of denial I have ever had the misfortune of being a part of, and I’ve spent most of my adult life working to separate from this self-destructive trait.

I heard from a cousin that during my time on Big Brother, after my coming out to the world (or the Big Brother viewing audience), my parents were thrown into a tailspin that resulted in my dad threatening to sue CBS and my mom having to enter therapy. Yes, I come from crazy. Once I made my transition to porn and was being thrust into the media via TMZ and Perez Hilton, it seemed that everyone I had ever known was finding ways to contact me and ask about it–everyone except my family.

I did make one attempt to see what my parents thought of my new found career. I found out my mom had a Facebook page so I sent a friend request, and to my surprise, she accepted. Next I posted on her wall that a movie I had starred in won an award and how happy I was. The following day, I received a message from my mom stating, “That is great news, what kind of movie were you in and what was the award?” I reckon I was just trying to stir the pot (wanting my mom to at least acknowledge she knew something about my life) and replied with a link to my movie, “Steven Daigle XXXPosed,” for Channel 1, and explained it won a GayVN. Well, the response I got was not too far from what I expected: “You should not be proud of any award you win for something disgusting like that.” The rest of the message was about me asking for forgiveness from God and quoting random Bible verses.

Moral of the story: When people live in denial, they live there for a reason. Trying to get them to change their address is a waste of time.


Riley Price:

I never came out to my parents that I was gay. My younger brother had been hearing rumors from people in my hometown that I was though. I was well known in my town as the jockish homecoming king guy in school, and I was probably the last person they expected this from. My dad finally outright asked me, and said that my younger brother told him. But he said that he loved me no matter what, and to just be happy. My brothers and mom echoed the same, but my close friends stopped talking to me–including my best friend. That hurt, but I got over it and found real friends.

My porn career was discovered after my first hardcore scene with Randy Blue. I remember while filming that very scene…I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it could be the scene that exposes me. The odd thing was that I wasn’t nervous about it at all. Sure enough, after the scene came out, I got a text from a girlfriend saying that someone had posted on Facebook that I was in gay porn. I called that person and read them the riot act.

My whole family eventually found out about “Riley Price” this past Thanksgiving where, again, my younger brother outed me to everyone–including my grandparents, whom I’m no longer speaking with.

Again, my family stated they loved me no matter what and to just be safe. My mom actually brags about me to her friends and called the whole family to tell them about my Grabby nominations. I’m a lucky guy.



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39 Responses to “Dear Mom: I’m A Gay Porn Star”

  1. Legend says:

    Knowing that these people are willing to expose their bodies to be viewed by strangers and are still too chicken-shit to admit it to the people in their personal lives definitely detracts from their appeal.

    Are there any performers (straight/gay/both) in this industry who have been completely forthright from the get-go? Looking forward to reading more of these. Got my attention… but I’m assuming that’s the intention.

    • steve says:

      I have noticed through the blog replies that you have a huge disdain for porn performers, yet you use their services for pleasure. I realize this will fall on deaf ears, but I had to point it out. You need some help.

      • Legend says:

        Wanting sex and wanting people are not the same thing. I don’t have “disdain for pornstars” just the hypocrisy in character; willing to be physically intimate with strangers and hopelessly guarded to family (personal relationships).

        There’s a tremendous discrepancy in disclosure that is off-putting.

    • J says:

      There are a lot of adults whose parents don’t even know they smoke or swear. I don’t think it’s “chicken-shit”. It can be appropriate to withhold that information, depending on the dynamic of your family.

      I wouldn’t really want to know if an immediate family member was doing porn, not because I disapprove of it, but because it would be tremendously difficult to resist googling their porn name it would be gross seeing my brother or someone in a sexual context.

      • Legend says:

        “Withholding” information is the same thing as lying. Doesn’t matter how menial.

        • Timothy says:

          You people have no idea how difficult it is to admit to your family your sexual orientation. The fear of loosing that connection with your family is very real. Since sexual orientation is set inby age 6, and the universal diversity of same sex in the animal kingdom tells me that it is as natural and normal as being straight. The sooner people realize that then i can say humanity has accomplished something. As for their personal business with their family is their’s alone, and any of you assholes think that what they do is wrong, should look in the mirror. God loves everyone, your supposed to forgive them and pray for them not condemn them. Everyone is sinner so being hipocritical about what other people do is wrong. More so than how you thiink what these guys do is wrong.

          for your gay bashing bible thumpers this is for you. The word Eunic as is from the new testament is a greek tranlation meaning castrated from a hebrew word that was meant for people who perfered their same gender. Because they were used to protect princesses. A straight castrated male can still use his hands and mouth, they would not be used for protection for they could still corrupt and violate. So the correct definition is a gay man. Leviticus was meant for the jews after they came back from egyptian bondage, they are from moses to his people and have no bering on the gentiles, or people of today.

          And guys, I know how hard it is to make your damily understand you, and accept you. They deprive themselves of a relationship with you, their own family because they were brought up all their lives, and by the church to belive it is very wrong. I hope and pray that they see the light, and realize their error

  2. Riley Price says:

    Listen ‘ Legend’- You don’t know me. I’m one of the most ‘ forthright’ people you will ever meet in your life. I took a chance and I got exposed. I have no problem with that–expose me. My main concern of telling people what I do was the possibility of my family being exposed. If me being ‘chickenshit’ is me trying to protect my family…call me chickenshit.

    • Legend says:

      “Protect” your family? Why would you put them at harm in the first place?

      • Riley Price says:

        in case you have been living under a rock for the past 20 years, being the parent or sibling to a porn star let alone gay porn star, isn’t something people usually accept. At the time–I didn’t want my family’s personal relationships to wither due to others perception on porn–not like mine did. They aren’t in porn—I am and I did not want them going through what I had to with my friends. It’s called being ‘selfless’. Make sense?

        Love,

        Riley

        • Legend says:

          I understand your point as far as holding it from outsiders (still lying) but what I’ve been addressing is holding it from your family. First you didn’t come out to them as gay. Then you didn’t come out to them as doing porn.

          Where does it end? What else are you hiding from them? I can only assume it’s something your fans already know about “Riley Price”. That’s the real harm.

          • Riley Price says:

            Its just common sense. I know my family well enough that if they had they’re choice they wouldn’t have wanted to know about this. Even though I am VERY proud of what I do and my work..ya still gotta be curtious of how others feel and will react. Have you ever heard the expression ‘some things are just better left unsaid’ I am proud of my work and this industry..but ya still gotta think about how others would feel and react and how my job would affect THEM. Again I’m taking you on a 101 course on ‘selflessness’

            For instance,If you were a father..and an Alpha-male father mind you, its enough to know that your middle child is gay..now you take it into gay porn..and not only that…but hes known as one of the biggest power bottoms in gay porn…and What do you expect me to do when my older brother calls me and asks me how my day went. “Oh its fine!..a little sore..bottomed again..gee go figure!…oh, how are the twins doing?”… see where i have been going this?..You need to think about this subject from a logical point of view and not being so concerned about being right and working off a view you have absolutely NO experience dealing with. I’m done responding. Have a nice day. :)

            Riley

  3. Jesse says:

    Thanx Steven & Riley for the coming out stories. I grew up in a religious family, I understand, just give them time. And if they still don’t accept it, try to cultivate a relationship with them with the understanding that your lifestyle won’t be spoken of. My family accepted my (ex)BF and was invited into their house as long as there was no PDA nor conversation/refrence/innuendo of gay sex. Wonder how many of your friends are actually jealous of places you get to go to, the admiration of, and other hot guys you get to be with!

    • Jason says:

      I did porn years ago for several years. Only stuff that would be in the vintage bin now, I imagine. My family and friends all knew and were pretty supportive, though concerned about my health, etc. I was lucky in that it was mostly a non-issue as I’d been regarded as more or less independent already. It rarely came up in conversation with family except in passing, good natured joking fashion. After I appeared on the cover of a magazine in a leather/bondage pose, my mom couldn’t help but comment that she found bondage scary.

  4. Alex says:

    I have to wonder Legend…How old are you? I wonder when you came out and how long it took to accept it? Sometimes it isn’t so easy to come out in your teens/early twenties, especially if you live in a conservative area or you think your family might disown you. Even if you misread them. My family gave me mixed signals because I had an older female cousin who came out as a lesbian when I was like 11 or 12. I always read there reactions as disgust for her sexuality but it turns out they were simple disappointed because she was an alcoholic that had a new girlfriend weekly. She insisted that said girlfriend was the love of her life and everyone should accept her or insult my cousin. Of course a week later no one was even allowed to speak of said girlfriend. It was less about her sexuality and more about her lack of character. I didn’t understand that then and it took going away to college, and coming home before I was brave enough to come out.

  5. Alex says:

    Oh …I forgot. I agree this is a great idea Zach and I look forward to reading more of them.

  6. Kitti says:

    Riley’s little brother needs to learn to STFU.

  7. Stu says:

    I like knowing a bit more about the person behind the performance, sometimes it adds to their appeal and sometimes it turns you off them if they’re a real douchebag. Two very different experiences for Steven and Riley, be interesting to see what the others have to say.

  8. Raul says:

    WOOOOW…. loveee this stories…

    Congrats to Steven for being a strong man and recognizing that your family is destructive for you…
    Im a big fan, I think you are gorgeous and I can tell you are very smart… Like the best porn stars… :)
    Stay strong…

    And to riley what a better day to come out that thanksgiving???

    hahaha… You are the cutest.

  9. MIke says:

    “does hearing about porn stars’ “real” lives detract from their appeal”

    If it involves a “gay porn star’s” wife and kids it sure does. For me. For any gay performer, why would it matter? Some of the biggest had (have) tragic stories (thinking Joey Stefano). I read (?fable) that Christian Foxx’s mother used to pick him up on the set and read Czech porn’s Jay Renfro’s father actually got him in the business.

  10. Gay_in_DB says:

    This needs to be said — When it comes to being a “gay porn star” there are 2 FACTORS at play — the fact that 1) you’re gay, and the fact that 2) you’re a porn star.

    So when it comes to telling your parents or family that you are a “gay porn star”, you need to distinguish whether they support you regardless of whether you are gay, a porn star, both, or neither.

    Keep in mind that there are many straight men who work for the gay porn industry (Reese Ridout, Cody Cummings, Girth Brooks, etc etc). So those guys never have to come out to their families as “gay” — they’re just porn stars (working for a gay industry).

    If your families don’t accept you for being gay, then I am truly sorry. Sexual orientation is NOT a choice.

    But if your families don’t support you for being a gay porn star, I have less sympathy for you. You had a CHOICE to get into the porn industry, and hopefully you did your research before signing up. I know many people who are politically liberal, Democrats, support gay marriage, but almost all of them would prefer that their sons go into a traditional career (like being a lawyer, businessman, accountant, engineer, artist, nurse, doctor, teacher, etc) rather than being a porn star or “escort” (a.k.a. male prostitute).

    By the way, Steven Daigle is the one of the most annoying porn stars around. In addition to weaseling his way into every gay porn studio (Is there a porn company which Steven Daigle hasn’t worked for?), Steven Daigle acts like people think of him as the reality TV star who happened to venture into porn. No, hunny, based on the number of times you’ve bottomed on camera & the number of studios you’ve worked with, you are a gay porn star who had a brief reality TV past.

    And best of all, Steven Daigle complains that his mother didn’t congratulate him on his GayVN award for “XXXposed”? Of course your mother thought your work was “disgusting” — what kind of mother would want to watch videos of her own son get DP’ed and be a cum receptable ?!?

    • Asenath says:

      That’s a pretty heavy judgment to lay on Steven Daigle. And while it’s understandable that a parent might not understand the choice a child makes to go into porn, there should (ideally) be some level of unconditional love that allows a parent to say, “I don’t get it, and I don’t like it, but I love you. Be safe and be happy.”

      All that said, if Steven Daigle needs to borrow a mom, I have two of them and will loan them out – if only to stop them conspiring against me.

      • Gay_in_DB says:

        Yes, parents should have unconditional love, but that doesn’t mean they have to support their (adult) children’s actions or decisions. You’re also not thinking about the parents & families.

        Family members (especially parents & grandparents) like to be able to talk about their adult children, and their accomplishments. For Middle America, being a porn star is associated with shame. Heck, even in liberal places (outside of West Hollywood or San Fran), being a porn star can be associated with shame. If it wasn’t, why do almost all porn stars (straight & gay) take on an alias for their porn work?

        While other parents can talk proudly that their son is in the military, their daughter is in law school, or their son is working for a charity non-profit — for example, what will porn star Jayden Grey’s parents say? — “My son works as an adult entertainer & is a prostitute for wealthy gay men — My son recently won the Hookies award!”

        There is a difference between accepting that your child is gay, vs. supporting their work as a gay porn star. They are not the same thing.

  11. MIke says:

    BTW, sure would love to hear Tucker Vaughn’s story. I follow him on Twitter and for a 19 year old in the business he sure seems to have a clear head. The little college student who is either tweeting about school home work and exams and home work and exams, or sticking things in his butt. Wonder if he’s out at school? At home?

    • mark says:

      I know what you mean, I’m a big fan of his, too! It’s obvious from his videos that he loves what he does and he always does an excellent job of bottoming! He’s also apparently not afraid to bottom for larger sized guys, too. He’s already bottomed for Castro and Diesel Washington. Hopefully, he’ll botom for Brad Star sometime!

  12. DPS says:

    Riley Price you are a stuck up bitch. I was introduced to you through a mutual friend in WEHO and when I tried to converse with you about your “career” you turned into such a cunt rocket. I wasn’t even hitting on you.

    • Riley Price says:

      You left the part out where I had to tell you twice throughout the night to stop trying to grab my dick. Than oddly enough our friends knew each other and I put up with you for as long as i could stand. Thats all. Learn some tact.

  13. robirob says:

    I think it’s a very interesting issue. IIRC Johnny Hazzard’s mom is pretty cool about it.

  14. Aiden says:

    I’m so sick of all the judgey gays. You watch porn and get off on it, yet still look down on the performers. I’ve been watching porn for 8yrs, since I was 11, and while I could never do porn myself I think it’s cool that some people care so little about society’s standards that they do what they want. Sounds like you have a pretty cool family Riley. Good luck.

  15. Olaf123 says:

    I go to a gym in Chicago where Riley used to workout, and I will attest that he is an extremely friendly and forthright guy. I admire him as a person and his work

  16. Peter says:

    i am 54 years old i only ever told my sister. i never told anyone else in my family i am gay. do they suspect/i’m sure some if not many do but from hearing them my entire life how they feel about gay people and the things i have heard them say about gay people, its very obvious how they feel. i cant find any point in pushing the topic knowing they are not going to be receptive. its just easier for me not to go there. i can totally understand guys not sharing this with their families. every situation is different.

  17. Bruce says:

    When alls said and done,I reckon we be careful about judging others..you jus never know the whole story! As a gay white guy from Zimbabwe, I’ve experienced enuf discrimination from colleges, so called friends etc, to know never to do that to someone else myself. Now I’m in SA its easier, but I doubt I will tell my parents. We’re all in different situations- so let’s not get petty. And I also agree- those of us who appreciate gay porn movies and the guys who act in them- let’s support them rather than give them a hard time. (No pun initially intended!) :-)

  18. Rocco says:

    Who in their right mind would send their mother porn, let alone one that they’re in?

  19. Pete says:

    I like your point of view, Riley. Wanting to protect your family from being placed in awkward situations with their friends and business colleagues is a form of grace and courtesy. I’ve always wondered how many gay porn actors are disassociated from their families. I imagine the percentage is quite high. I can’t imagine being a porn actor (besides the fact I don’t have the body for it ) simply because it might impact my family in some tangential way.

  20. rider says:

    first of all we don’t hate gay porn stars , they are hot and sexy, but sorry to tell you we never liked g4p guys, i never watch their porn, the minute i get to know that the pornstar is g4p i lose all of my attraction for him, and its a cool job if you don’t care for your family, but no parents fantasize that kind future for their kid, if you support this then send your kid into the porn industry and listen to your friends about your own son or daughter work in detail and then come here, its always easy to say big words only, lots of people also go to brothel but this doesn’t mean they are gonna marry them , don’t get me wrong i have no problem with porn making, but i think as long as you are single, working in porn is cool but i am not in the favor of the people who say that they are married but still sticking their dick in every thing that moves either for money or as a hobby, doesn’t matter gay guys or g4p, i am gay and almost every month i get a request from a married guy(under closet) to fuck, g4p are nothing more then that, they do gay sex either planned or unplanned(if someone sucks your dick either guy or girl you are going to enjoy it) but don’t accept that they are gay or bi, even a bi porn star(not gonna say his name) said in his interview that 90% g4p are bi even if they don’t accept that. and about their wife or girl friend what ever they call them, i don’t have any respect for them, they say they love them but still they are allowing them to fuck every body for money, i am gay and i can never see my partner touching other person for any kind of money($1500/scene or $1million/scene), they are just with them for their money and sullying the holly process of marriage, even if g4p really hate their work then why don’t they quit after sometime, i mean common after maximum of 2-3 yrs work they can easily save up enough money to start their own business, they don’t quit because they don’t want to quit, so they are gay but in closet.

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