So if Ryan Seacrest is straight, that means that our gaydar is wrong. If we can’t trust our gaydar, then that means we can’t trust anything. If we’re wrong about this, maybe we’re wrong about everything. Therefore, if this is true, we don’t believe in anything anymore and there is no such thing as God. Also, if Ryan is straight then Simon has a lot of sophomoric gay-baiting to answer for, and he should probably answer first, to Janet Jackson.

RELATED:
Ryan Seacrest’s Newest ‘Girlfriend’ Happens to Appear on a Network He’s in the Business of Promoting (Jossip);
Showmance??? (Perez Hilton);
Ryan Seacrest’s Dating Sunset Tan Star (In Touch Weekly)

EARLIER:
Cosmo, Girl? The New Gay Minstrelsy;
Blogs Breathlessly Await Anderson Cooper’s Outing, Mine Web for Anecdotes in the Meantime