utah bans vaseline and kleenex

Will Utah Limit Vaseline & Kleenex Sales to Curtail Jacking Off?

“If a young man is buying large supplies of these items, it’s evident he has fallen prey to masturbation.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) is now “urging” Utah Gov. Gary Herbert to impose limits on the sale of Vaseline and Kleenex.

If the Utah Pride Festival can declare war on the MormonBoyz, why can’t the LDS declare war against the evils of masturbation? NewsExaminer is reporting the LDS has concluded jacking off is is “seriously harming the lives of young people. And they have decided to go after supplies that potential masturbators might need.”

utah bans vaseline and kleenex

Bob Whitbread, LDS spokesperson, said the church is going to urge Utah Gov. Gary Herbert to impose limits on the sale of Vaseline and Kleenex.

“If a young man is buying large supplies of these items, it’s evident he has fallen prey to masturbation,” Whitbread said.

“The sin of masturbation occurs when a person stimulates his or her own sex organs for the purpose of sexual arousal. It is a perversion of the body’s passions. When we pervert these passions and intentionally use them for selfish, immoral purposes, we become carnal”

utah bans vaseline and kleenex
Utah Gov. Gary Herbert
Gay, straight, teen, co-ed, blue-collar, white-collar, or senior citizens, apparently the LDS doesn’t realize even with our limbs amputated, we’d still find ways to jack-off. Sadly, their call for lube and cum rag rationing (how would that even work) is not going to fall on unsympathetic ears. As USA Today covered in January, Gov. Gary Herbert signed a resolution declaring pornography a “public health crisis.”

The resolution was introduced by Republican state Senator Todd Weiler in January 2015, to battle the “pornography epidemic harming” in the state and the country. Weiler maintains that the resolution is not a ban on porn or an attack on masturbation, but the first steps toward creating a plan to protect children and families from it.

utah bans vaseline and kleenex
Senator Todd Weiler
Weiler, who hopes similar legislation will soon be passed in other states, believes that pornography is addictive in nature and aiding in the breakdown of marriage and healthy relationships.

Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sex expert, says the anti-pornography movement is rooted in a long history of stigmatizing sex and masturbation.

“It is a world in which porn exists,” Kerner said. “the Internet exists, and we need to show our kids how to live in it, and first we need to live in it ourselves, make porn a healthy part of our communication or communicate why we don’t want it in our relationship.”

However, Utah is known to have the highest consumption of pornography in the country, according to a study by Harvard professor Benjamin Edelman. Second only to Mississippi. “Where you have a culture that is known for family values, morality, and apple pie, you will also have curiosity and interest in the forbidden.”

Take that you duplicitous fuckers. Here’s the deal, when sex is demonized, it amplifies the imaginary “call of the devil” rather than fostering a natural, healthy expression of human sexuality that is: a gift from G-d even non-believers are thankful for.

If that sounds like the perfect cue for some MormonBoyz, I think so too. Gov. Gary Herbert, this is for you …

[Visit MormonBoyz.com]

 
 

5 thoughts on “Will Utah Limit Vaseline & Kleenex Sales to Curtail Jacking Off?”

  1. I am 69 yo and I’m not in a relationship. No one is going to stop me from Jerking off and watching Porn! Most days I do it twice. Maybe I’m addicted to porn, who cares? Not me.

  2. Why don’t they just require chastity cages? They make a fortune on the special underwear, so requiring the unmarried to wear a device would bring in even more money. Hold a contest at BYU for a design and then use the students as test subjects.

  3. omg seriously? I love vaseline! Its my favorite thing…removing drag make-up, softening skin under my eyes, elbows, feet, irritations, cuts, sunburns, literally everything! haha…get with it Utah!!

    Vaseline for all!
    Masturbation too!!!!

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