To the Washington Post.
Coinciding with this week’s International AIDS Conference in D.C., the paper reports:
D.J. Steedley is the modern face of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. He is open about his HIV-positive status, physically fit, in some ways healthier than he was before he was diagnosed, and on a clinical trial through the National Institutes of Health that requires four pills a day and a certain level of discipline and caution, likely for the rest of his life.
The National Institutes of Health (which is funded by U.S. tax dollars) must have been thrilled to learn that one of the patients in their clinical trial is practicing “discipline and caution” as a Treasure Island Media porn star. They do know, right?
Earlier this month, Treasure Island announced that DJ had been signed to an exclusive contract, at which point he told fans how much he enjoyed “giving good, deep, hard, raw fuckings—I don’t stop until the bottom is limping on his way out.”
DJ went on to say that his “deepest sexual fantasy” was “to be used in a raw, sling gang-fuck,” which the Washington Post fails to report. Typical lamestream media…
DJ in 2008:
I started working in the Medical Field in 1983 in ER’s across this Country right in the onslaught of the AIDS/HIV Pandemic! I watched my friends die every day horrible deaths! Sadly most were Gay Men but the real victim’s I feel were the wives of these HIV+ Men that were unaware of their husbands gay sex! Because I had to watch these women die as well not being able to watch their children grow up! Some are lucky enough to still be alive and are getting older now due to the new HIV Drugs with much less sight effects! But some have ended up with CHF, Kidney Failure & Multiple Organ Damage From the older HIV Drugs! The newer HIV Drugs are more successful and have much less sight effects but everyone that are using Prep Drugs and new HIV Drugs must have Bloodwork every 3 to 6 months! Cardiac Enzymes, Liver Enzymes and Kidney Function Tests MUST be Completed each time! These tests will keep you informed about the effectiveness of the HIV Drugs and will give you an undetectable or detectable result for HIV! Please be safe and I know it’s not as much fun as spontaneous sex but get tested and have your future sex partner get tested before you engage! Even though it’s no longer possible to transmit HIV if your Undetectable be sure! Love & respect DJ for the sacrifice he is making for the sake of finding a cure! DJ does have a PURPOSE!
i think dj needs 2 come 2 fl meet me and do vids with mr hes sexy itd be real hot 2 meet and date a pornstar dreamaandrews on pornhub look me up dj paxilrodtwink@gmail.com email me k need someone 2 do vids with friend me k
Sodom and Gomorrah !
Facts cannot be denied. Gay sex in America is the highest at risk activity that can lead to HIV transmission. It’s easy to say that pornography is a form of entertainment however the reality is not. The paradigm that the pornography industry has created is a fantasy of muscled bodies and attractive models that most gay men will never live up to. The reality of life and living with HIV is not a fantasy. I have been at a Health Center with a close friend who found out he was HIV positive and I can tell you right now it was not balloons and shouts of joy. He broke down, his spirit was broken. We stopped being friends because I wanted him to take care of himself and instead went back to cruising on Grindr. Power is knowledge and comes with responsibility. Countless people have died and are living today with the HIV virus. Regardless of whether these people are undetectable or not the fact it is that virus is alive in their body. The only way to eradicate this pandemic is to put a halt to the activities that are spreading the virus. The fact is gay men sleep with gay men. Men in the porn industry sleep with men who are not in the porn industry. Bareback sex in pornography gives young gay men the impression that protected sex is not as good (which is true). Insanity is defined as repeating the same activity over and over again and expecting a different result each time. In my mind bareback sex in pornography is insane. The men who perform are insane. They have no respect or value for the gay community because they have no respect for themselves. This only reinforces my belief that I need to protect myself from people who would be willing to put my life at risk. I plan to stay HIV free because I will protect myself from people like this who think it’s ok to disregard everything we have learned since HIV became prevalent back in the 80’s. Yes these are are infected, not with HIV but with complete disregard for the health and well being of the gay community.
Forgot to add that while I disagree with Paul Morris that neg is the new virginity, first time raw might very well be. For me it as accidental and quite a revelation!
There’s this erroneous assumption among safe-sex advocates and the health-care community in general that guys who indulge in bare backsex have some kind of a death-wish. The issue that none of these people are willing to address is that bareback sex is much better, even when you’re on the receiving end. First, it feels better. Condoms chafe, skin doesn’t. And the eroticism is so much more intense when there’s nothing between you and your lover and you seed him or he seeds you. It’s a real turn-on and has nothing to do with disease.
I don’t do it all the time, and I’m extremely picky about who I do it with, but I do it.
DJ’s incredibly hot, and I have on many occasions fantasized about being that guy he makes walk funny. Would I consciously let him give me a ‘gift’ — definitely not! But I can totally relate to his sling fantasy.
Your absolutely Right! Many people have an Allergy to Latex & rubber products! I do it’s on my medical records! Latex causes me severe burns! Latex Which causes chafing, redness, burning, rashes, etc., etc., etc., so getting tested before anyone engages in bareback sex and having a future partner tested is the best alternative! Granted it is definitely not as fun & spontaneous but it is much safer! I think maybe the good old days of getting an STD/STI and going to the doctor for a injection of penicillin & it’s gone, well those days are far behind us! I started working in the Medical Field in 1983! The 80’s were a nightmare decade for everyone but mostly the LGBTQ+2 Community as well as the Porn World! Be Safe!
i will say this much: it’s complete, utter foolishness to bandy about the philosophy “it’s my body; thus i can do what i want with it.”
extreme selfishness.
almost no man is an island unto himself.
plus, i wonder how many of these guys might continue saying that kind of stuff, if it was their own mothers or fathers being reckless with barebacking and drug use (because you just know that at least some of these sex workers in T.I.M. are on something).
(you also know, at least some of these sex workers have other diseases besides HIV.
or.. ..was footage of such individuals “excised” during paul’s editing?)
speaking for myself: i think i have the right not to have to worry if i’m putting my life/livelihood on the line, by merely putting my dick in someone’s mouth, or vice versa.
i wish we gays could bareback each other until the moon turns purple; but i don’t like having pus come out of my dick.. ..i definitely don’t want herps sores all over my junk either.
so, yeah: why don’t paul go and re-direct some of that money he’s made towards finding The Cure?
or, at least, partially subsidizing one or two people’s regiment, for the duration of their life?
i don’t wish to demonize every HIV-positive person there is; only those who are wont to be reckless and wanton.
HIV can kill, once it progresses to AIDS.
and not every HIV-positive person can avoid the syndrome…
…that’s why i feel we all should quite continue to maintain a reasonably healthy fear of the disease: much in the way we respect the other diseases that can cause serious harm, physiological and psychological.
Would be great if someone compiled a list on testing practices per studio. Other than condoms it doesn’t seem like anything is standardized, but then again a lot of these actors do bareback straight porn as well. It’s not a cool thing when the last couple HIV scares in straight porn all came from gay side of the industry.
One of the reasons why Corbin Fisher decided to go raw was that they were already spending the money on the PCR for their het scenes.
When Mencom starts testing it will be interesting to see what models suddenly become Treasure Island or Raging Falcon exclusives.
You raise a really interesting point. I don’t know what TIM’s policies are with regard to testing/identifying the various strains of HIV contracted by their performers. But it’s pretty clear that most of the “mainstream”/condom only studios DO NOT test. In the wake of Erik Rhodes recent passing, an acquaintance of his revealed that Erik found out he was positive when he was “loaned” to Randy Blue, which tests. RB thus limited Erik to a solo, but he went back to Falcon/Raging Stallion and continued to work.
So, if you suppose that condoms are NOT foolproof, can you really believe the majority of gay porn studios who do not test are so superior to those that bareback but test?
I would love to enter the mind of Paul Morris for just one hour… where every man, woman and child, is HIV positive. It’s almost like Comic-Con.
“What strain do you got? Any rare ones?”
“Oh shit, I don’t have that one yet! I’ve been looking for that one for my collection.”
Morris is the Charles Manson of gay porn.
Listen, it sucks that you are hiv positive but to knowingly work for a company like treasure island media that promotes bug chasing porn is contradicting what you are saying. Barebacking is a dangerous sexual act and hiv cases are rising. And companies like treasure island continues to prmote unsafe sex as a way to simply make money along with sean cody, corbin fisher and active duty. Each company used to promote safe sex but now have gone to barebacking just for the revenue and just mentioning as an after thought about how unsafe sex is dangerous. So, here is the question is gay porn succumbing to the fans offering barebacking or just for there own greedy purposes to promote dangerous acts? That is the million dollar question.
Guys who are HIV+ deserve to have porn, too. That’s how I view TIM. Grown men making their own decisions and having sex the way God intended. When people complain about TIM, they usually do it on the assumption that 1) some of the participants are neg or 2) that after watching these videos, viewers run out and duplicate what they see. It has a right to exist. Unfortunately, when people start blaming and casting aspersions of “contamination” on poz people, they only encourage poz people to keep their status a secret. Rubber up, everyone! As long as we stigmatize and encourage a culture of lying, you will never know if your Dream Dick, who claims he’s neg, is really hiding something.
I just love this attitude lately that hiv is such a manageable disease and that nobody dies from it anymore. So untrue. These “kids” have not lived through the nightmare of AIDS and seen what it can do. I just lost a friend a month ago to AIDS, well actually liver failure. After years of being on meds (the ones that DJ makes sound like mutivitamins), his liver just could not take it anymore. Organ failure is not sexy….wake up!
DJ just doesn’t get it. He works in a bar and works for a sleazy porn copy, yet he talks about his future like it’s full of hope and possibility. Sorry, at 30 he has no marketable skills whatsoever and it’s all downhill from here.
I actually know DJ and have hung out with him several times and yes we even had sex. DJ isn’t a bad guy but I think he is a victim of his circumstances. If you ever meet him you see how nice and low key he is but also how lost he is. He served our country and now it’s like he is wandering aimlessly trying to figure himself out. Porn was mostly for financial reasons and he has probably come now to understand the wreckless choices that he made and the blinding by the glamor of porn has caused it to be very difficult to find what some may call “professional” employment. He has fucked up in many ways and he knows it. I hope now he realizes that porn has only lead him to harm and can meet with someone that can offer a hand of support so that he can escape this downward spiral he has been on. The looks will fade. He will get older. I am sure he will want to look back and see the positive good he has contributed to and not have his life defined by drugs, alcohol, sex and HIV. I see people like DJ all the time. He is a victim. But he doesn’t have to continue to be.
I too hope that he comes to the realization that you suggest. But the fact that he recently entered into a contract with the most repugnant gay porn studio on the planet doesn’t bode well.
I do think, as I stated before, that he will need to make a choice between his current employment and participating in a taxpayer-funded health study. If his life is a mess now, as you have described it to be, just wait until our opponents on the political right get wind of this–which they surely will in only a matter of time.
In other words, DJ, brace yourself for impact.
And so your solution, to avoid “our opponents” getting wind of DJ’s story is to do their work for them? You’re a real prince among men.
My “solution” is to offer DJ the opportunity to man up and do the right thing by publicly disassociating himself from TIM and what it does and represents.
So you view issuing the threat as itself the noble thing, even though carrying through on that threat would be similar to what “our opponents” would do. Again, petty and mean. But at least you can avoid responsibility for either the nastiness of the threat or the cruelty of its enforcement because you have self-righteousness on your side.
It is one thing to pontificate on the hypothetical result of “glamorizing” unsafe sex (just as it is to rail against violence in movies, anti-police or anti-woman lyrics in rap, violence in video games, sex in cinema or on tv), it is quite another to directly act against a specific person with an intent to do them harm. And don’t claim that’s not the intent — if you didn’t perceive getting DJ booted from the study would harm him in some fashion, you wouldn’t think your threat had any teeth.
First, I’m jealous! I’m a total tag-chaser! Marines especially — they’re the best lovers! DC’s primo tag territory! In college I used to visit a friend at Georgetown. He knew what bars to hit, and we always got lucky
While it may have a ‘gay’ flavor, DJ’s situation doesn’t sound very much different from a lot of guys post-military, especially ones who enlisted straight out of High School. They leave this incredibly structured environment and flounder. Not surprisingly, several end up reenlisting — kind of like prison recidivism.
Unfort floundering in the gay world probably involved partying and unsafe sex. I was about to add making up for lost time, but so far as I can tell gay Marines don’t seem to want for sex partners both in and out of the Corps.
As long as he is answering his survey questions honestly, there isn’t a reason for the NIH to dismiss him. On the contrary, he’s actually helping the study by being more promiscuous. Drug trials are just that, a trial run – it’s takes all kinds of circumstances to properly test a drug – being a drug for a disease that is primarily sexually transmitted – and having a celibite Nun take an aids/hiv pill would serve no purpose. This story is being sensationalized — but the brutal honesty is 90% of the “real life” sexually encounters on xtube, lifeout, dudesnude… are bareback – I’ve often noticed guys that say “safe sex only” in their profile with pics and vids of them having unprotected sex – for whatever reason ( in a relationship, quickie, i pull out, just don’t care…) it’s still unprotected.
NIH isn’t the morality police – they are scientist looking for a tangible solution to a disease. His promiscuity is testing the drug to the extreme – for other peoples benefit. It may sound crass, but it’s most likely the reason he was chosen in the first place.
Zach: Don’t use the caracterization of the national media as “lamestream” media it leads me to think that you may be a “fair and balanced” Fox type wingnut.
DJ: I liked everything you said in the video. I am glad you are healthy now. I think you are a former U S Marine and so I say thank you for serving this nation in the military. My question is: Are you having bareback sex with HIV Negaive people? If so why? You seem like a very good and intelligent person, not to mention sexy, so if you are , why?
“Honestly if ever there was a backlash on gay people again , this would be a good reason why.”
Hey half, really, again?
As if the backlash has ever stopped. Get out of your bubble.
I luv DJ. Good for him. And all you other haters can kiss it.
It’s a tricky situation! I find DJ very nice and laidback! He is a grown man and can make his own decisions! Anyone that doesn’t trust that if you are undetectable you are unable to transmit HIV that is exactly what was discussed at the last Medical Conference that I attended! I’ve been in the Medical Field for 35 plus years and I am required to attend workshops & Medical Conferences each year!
I suggest to everyone, make your own informed decisions on HIV but don’t verbally or physically attack anyone for their decisions! Make up your own mind!
Anyone who thinks asking guys if they are poz or neg before fucking equates to safe sex needs to seriously reevaluate things. Being labeled as ‘contaminated’ etc. is part of the reason guys lie about it. Use a rubber and it won’t matter if the guy is poz.
Condoms break. Have plenty of times for me and didn’t even notice. This is why it’s important to know if the guy is poz or not.
I think the point Chris is trying to make is that you never really know. You have a right to ask, but you unfortunately you will never know if you are getting an honest or accurate answer. You really don’t know the persons full history. Condoms, when used properly, rarely fail. If you are using a quality condom and it fails often, you need to examine the type of lube, storage practices, even how you open the package. The best thing you can do for your sexual health is to always use a condom, that was the point.
Fair enough. But the irony here, also pointed out by Chris, is that DJ has publicly declared he is HIV positive, thus advising any potential future partners, yet he is the one being trashed.
Vito Russo said it best, just like being gay, only until people come out of the closet as HIV positive will the shame and stigmas in society be removed. Avoiding protective measures like wearing condoms is bad, and avoiding the issue all together is even worse. Get tested, and inform your partners of your status. They have a right to know.
Silence = Death.
that’s a damn lie. I’ve had a few condoms break on me too when I topped.
Not only does Treasure Island Media glamorize HIV, but they also tried to make child molestation look sexy. That new young guy Jackson Taylor that worked with Ethan Wolfe? was interviewed before doing his scene, and went into great detail about how some older neighbor boys would take turns dropping loads in his ass when he was four years old!!! He was discussing it as though it was some hot hook up in a bathroom stall. This company is fucking SICK.
Now that is a post I can wholeheartedly endorse.
I don’t know if I read the full story, but in the one I read it said that the kids forced him to suck them off when he was 4. I don’t remember it saying anything about penetration… not that it makes it any better, but can you please give a link to the full story? Thanks.
Hey guys, this is DJ. So, if you were to actually read the WP article, it would make more sense to those of you who are trying to slam being HIV+. As for the ignorant individual who wrote this article, I have a few select words for you ;-P. You made me out to be a monster, sexual fantasies are sexual fantasies…Do they ever come true? I’m not responding to thrash anyone, just here to make sure you get all of your facts straight before posting ignorant and naive comments. The NIH treatment is for studies to help find a cure and to help future diagnoses. Yes, I’m HIV+ and as healthy as ever. Thanks guys!
DJ
Personally, I’m not bashing you for being HIV+, that ship has sailed. But, I would like to understand why you are making bareback films. Why is it not “ignorant” and “naive” to perpetuate the bad choices that you have already made? Please help us understand how someone who is HIV+ decides to continue to practice unsafe sex and glorify it. Your mom, who is diabetic, do you encourage her to practice habits that will improve her health and extend her life or maintain her prediabetes lifestyle?
Jimmy has a choice ahead of him, presuming it’s not already too late for him to make it:
Drop your association with that nasty-ass Treasure Island Media or be dropped from the NIH study.
There are ones of us who will be sure to make the latter happen if you don’t quickly choose the former.
Sorry, I meant to say that DJ has a choice to make.
Really? You would take it upon yourself to get him booted from the study? What arrogance. Do you know what the parameters are for participating in the study? (I don’t). I would bet, however, that abstaining from unprotected sex is not one of them. Now, if DJ were hiding the fact that he was positive from his sex partners, that would pose a very different problem, But he’s hardly doing that. Just the opposite. I think he should be commended from coming forward so publicly about being HIV positive.
The parameters for being in an NIH controlled study is that he abstain from unsafe sexual practices. The NIH does not only conduct studies to find cures, it also does it fair share to educate those who participate in those studies. By engaging in unsafe practices, such as getting re-infected (yes, it does happen.. a lot more often than people think) he is contributing to the evolution of the virus as there are several strains of HIV and not just one. Should he become infected with a super-strain of the HIV virus, he can very well taint and render the study in which he is participating completely useless and inconclusive. This, from someone who works at the NIH and is aware how their clinical trials work.
It’s a tricky situation! I find DJ very nice and laidback! He is a grown man and can make his own decisions! Anyone that doesn’t trust that if you are undetectable you are unable to transmit HIV that is exactly what was discussed at the last Medical Conference that I attended! I’ve been in the Medical Field for 35 plus years and I am required to attend workshops & Medical Conferences each year!
I suggest to everyone, make your own informed decisions on HIV but don’t verbally or physically attack anyone for their decisions! Make up your own mind! Love you DJ!
Here’s hope for continued research and development for a treatment / Cure of HIV. In the 90’s I worked in a Prision Hospital they had their own HIV/AIDS wings there; it was sad to see people warehoused like cattle waiting to die, it wasn’t any better in the cancer wings. People can choose to eat a healthy lifestyle and continue to get the best treatment possible for whatever disease they have and are fighting for their lives. My continued prayers for your health and safety and your Fight in this battle.
What bullshit! DJ says, “it’s [HIV] is not something I would wish on anyone” and “it’s not a death sentence anymore” yet by performing for Treasure Island he promotes unsafe sex practices.
Early in the interview, DJ states that he “made a choice” not practice safe sex and now he’s making the choice to earn a living by performing in bareback films. When DJ and “David” appeared on Active Duty live, there was lot of discussion back and forth, between the two them, about how promiscuous they both were. I hope and pray that David is open, honest and proactive so that more people aren’t living their lives through clinical trials for the poor choices they made.
1. Let’s be fair…no one knows if DJ wrote the profile on T.I.M….much like the gibberish that is written on Sean Cody and other sites it could nothing more than a marketing ploy…
2. Two of the BIGGEST PORN STARS of all time: [..] and Aiden Shaw (who worked for various studios) were HIV+ throughout their career
3. Are people more offended by that certain Treasure Island Media look that seems to signify HIV+ or would you like the HIGH GLOSS of FalconStudios and others that promote the “image” that their stars are not HIV+???
WTF
I agree living with HIV is not a death sentence. But not sure what the article is about. 4 pills a day that have side effects. I have a friend that wont even take the pills because of the side effects.
I just am against anything that glamorizes bareback gay porn. This is really borderline for me. He is in an exclusive contract with this company? Is there really such demand for this guy that Treasure Island needed a contract?
Hmmmm
One of the Powers That Be at a mainstream site that has recently gone bareback told me that the decision was driven by convenience. Many shoots didn’t work out because the models, who were mostly straight and rarely used condoms in their personal lives, couldn’t maintain erections in with rubbers on. Now the shoots are much more spontaneous and hotter.
Good for you , please only have sex with other contaminated people.
Honestly if ever there was a backlash on gay people again , this would be a good reason why .
THese people LOOK FOR disease , then end up on 14000$ a year treatment at others’ expenses yet keep behaving like stupid shits so they can get even sicker .
AND there’s a market for that.
Words fail me.
Contaminated people?! :/
half porco, by calling HIV-positive people “contaminated people,” you prove yourself to be as liberated by the drug treatments as they are. Because no one would be so insensitive if they had actually lived through the AIDS holocaust and seen the horrors that happened. Grow a heart, man. You will need it one day.
?? What s the problem ? HIV positive = contaminated by HIV–> “contaminated people”.
Anyway , I know full well about the “AIDS holocaust” (uh pompous choice of words IMO), I can have all the sympathy in the world for people who got it in the 80s but in 2010??THe information is out there , condoms can be found for free, contaminations occur now mostly because people choose to be reckless so no I’m not going to be sympathetic with them, especially when the person in question works for a company that glamorizes HIV (“Negativity is the new virginity” – Paul Morris).
Enabling these type of people to continue fucking around as if nothing happened will contribute to the spreading of this virus,especially among younger people . SOMEONE SOMEWHERE needs to say something about this shit , the world doesn’t have to be dominated by markets , surely ?? You know this dude is having a business around his virus , with TIM ?? Oh bareback is so edgy..
Sorry this is very sick
I would’ve worded it differently, but half porco totally has a good point.
Everyone that contracts HIV today doesn’t fit into your neat little bucket of hate. There are people that don’t seek it, and don’t rely on public aid, and some that don’t even bareback. Just so you know that, maybe this guy rubs you the wrong way I get it, but there is a whole world of people out there and we still need to be capable of compassion and respect.
Half porco, you have a point. Getting the disease isn’t the immediate death sentence it used to be, but porn companies shouldn’t be hiring him and putting him in a place/position where it could potentially be passed on to others. That is reckless on their behalf and his. In a perfect world, DJ would realize what has happened and only have sex with someone that he is in a committed monogamous relationship with. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and he’s gonna fuck everything in sight that’ll let him. Some people never learn.
always assume when having sex that everyone is positive and act accordingly.
Well then don’t watch it buy it that is your choice. What is not your choice is to dictate how others should live their lives no matter how “sick” you think it is.
“infected” not “contaminated”. You’re talking about human beings, not lab specimens!
Some replies to you I find just as disheartening as your narrow-minded view. But some replied trying to remind you that these are people- as one remarked, “infected, not contaminated.” People make mistakes, have vices, are fucked up, make bad choices, and you have too! Remember that before condemning others.
It is presumptuous to assume you how and why people make the choices they do. Maybe this reckless behavior derives from past traumas, of which they may have not had the privilege or the strength to confront. Or maybe it was one night of being drunk and saying fuck it. Or maybe it was with a sexual partner they thought they could trust. Or maybe it wasn’t choice at all, maybe they were raped. You’d be surprised how common some of these occur.
I am poz and know maybe people who are as well. And they aren’t all reckless death seekers; the few that were changed for the better. And though I may fall under that category of being careless towards MY own well being, it was someone I tried to protect against my reckless actions who infected me. I realized he took off condoms during sex and agreed to see him again, so ultimately, I am at fault. But does that make me less than you? Am I destined to continue be destructive, at the expense of public funding, as you suggest? Maybe I deserve to be cut off from medication access, and develop AIDS; after all you have no sympathy for me.
And some will continue to fuck up. Just as someone who’s been addicted to drugs, there are typically unaddressed problems, sometimes horrific things you couldn’t imagine, and the self-destructive behavior is somehow better than confronting the deep wounds within… Some overcome and incite hope and wisdom greater than anyone who’s held a privilege life. And some burn out in a self-destructive blaze. Should we give up on all these people with troubles because their means of coping isn’t the healthiest, leaving all to the latter fate?
As for Paul Morris. Some of his views are warped, most likely skewed by all the money in front of him. But he is human as well, and his intentions are good, though he may be blind to some of his effects. Morris has wanted to dispel the phobia (as in irrational fear) of hiv poz. And though his means aren’t justified by the ends, there is an intention I find noble because many of you are severally misinformed. Some won’t even touch some who is poz out who fear.
Being poz and medicated tends to lead to undetectable status, this is such a low viral count some argue it is nearly impossible to infect another. There is always a risk though (but I have known and heard many couples bb with one undetectable and the other neg and no infection occurring), however condoms are the safest no matter who you are with. It is more dangerous to bb someone who is neg than it is someone who is undetectable. Some people don’t get tested that regularly and there is a 3 month window period where infection has taken place but will not show up on test results- in fact, during this period tends to be the highest viral load will ever be and the most contagious point. There is no risk of transmission through oral sex unless there is a cut in the mouth. These are a few things worth dispelling. Because this irrational fear I believe gives rise to an irrational sense security when someone is neg. I personal consider this to be more dangerous and have witnessed the irrational mindsets of many who think like this. They think they are safe and so far lucky, but they are at far greater risk. If you desperately want to bb, you either have to be in the most trusting relationship or the only other option is undetectable, which isn’t a 100% but as I said it’s a lot safer.
So…
There is a social stigma you are perpetuating by speaking so broadly, with such undeserved malice, and misinformed self-righteous arrogance. I hope I have educated at least one person here. And I hope you reconsider your stance on these terrible, contaminated sites- I mean, people!
well said brother