The Sword: So how often do you wear a female condom?
Trey: I use them probably 10% of the time, or maybe more often with a consistent partner, because there’s a stigma attached. I mean, it’s just kind of weird, and there’s an information gap.
TS: Have you gotten any negative reactions from tops?
Trey: Well I’ve gotten some strange looks but nothing overt. I’d say half the guys I’ve used it with are seeing it for the first time.
TS: Ever hit the bars while wearing a female condom?
Trey: No I haven’t, but I wouldn’t count it out! That could be kind of hot, actually.
TS: At what point in the hookup does the plastic bag go up your ass?
Trey: Well with a normal condom, you put it on when the dude’s hard. But with a female condom, you don’t need to wait. You can put it in yourself, whenever.
TS: How does it work?
Trey: It’s a bit of a learning process to get it inside you. It helps to use a dick, because the ass is not going to suck it up itself. Also, it’s a lot larger than normal condoms, maybe the same length but wider. And the ring doesn’t tighten around the penis, instead it’s open and loose. When you unwrap it there’s another inner ring that you should remove. The purpose of this inner ring is to help you insert it all the way your ass. And make sure you remove it because if you don’t — and I found this out the hard way — the ring can really tear up the anus.
TS: I see.
Trey: Yeah. The irony is that one guy who was super cool with me using it on him, I was new to it and I ended up bloodying him up. We were intoxicated. You know how that goes.
TS: Why would you say I know how that goes?
Trey: Because you’re a sloppy whore.
TS: You’re the one who wants to share your rubbered asshole with a city.
Trey: Well yeah, I think that for people who hate condoms and can’t get hard with them, it’s a good idea to use female condoms instead of going bareback. Condoms make a lot of guys go soft. What female condoms do is eleminate the needs to stop everything, open a condom package with your slippery hands, and stay hard through that whole process. Plus, tops and bottoms will both notice the difference. It heightens the sensitivity because the female condom, being larger, gets more creased and wrinkly. The condom doesn’t move with you as much, so there’s more friction.
Another benefit is that you can pull and play, shove the dick in the guy’s mouth, go take a piss in some stranger’s mouth or something, I don’t know, and then go back to the hole. Also, you don’t have to worry about dirty condoms or replacing it. And I’m sure there are cool things that I haven’t even thought of yet. Like, you can put stuff in it. An ice cube. Marbles.
TS: And who would you like to share your latex ass with?
Trey: I like masculine, top/vers guys. 30s, 40s, fit to muscled. Oh, and I’m not looking for any cash either. Positive-friendly. I prefer aggressive guys, yet at the same time guys who don’t need to leave as soon as they come.
TS: Fit to muscled? So no skinny guys?
TS: Something against skinny guys?
Trey: I’m not going to ixnay them. Let’s just leave it at that.
TS: So you think skinny guys are ugly?
Trey: No! On the other hand…
TS: You think skinny guys are sexually undesirable. You think I’m sexually undesirable.
Trey: No. Um, no. I just prefer guys who are a little more muscled.
If you are in the Bay Area and would like to learn more by fucking my friend Trey up the ass, email him some pics and stats. He’ll teach you about female condoms, and you can teach him that you’re not supposed to wear both a belt and suspenders at the same time.
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