The Semen Odor Did Him In
28-year-old Daniel James Dupuis — teacher, husband, father and part-time minister — admitted to police that he would occasionally masturbate in the middle school classroom where he taught music after the children had left for lunch. At least Dupuis (pictured) had the restraint to wait until the students were out of the classroom and the door was locked.
That’s more restraint than the janitor displayed when he went trolling for man-batter deposits in the school’s wastebackets. The janitor said he found a tissue that smelled like cum, pointed a finger at Dupuis and alerted school officials, who called the cops.
Now, Dupuis, a man with no criminal record who did not expose himself to anyone, faces two years on felony charges because he masturbated at work. Like all of us. (Right?) But what about the janitor? Producing your own ejaculatory fluid seems a lot more "decent" to me than sniffing someone else’s disembodied deposit.
Worship Pastor Watch (Dan Savage)