The following comes to us via Guest Swordsman, Casey Ley.
7. Straight-Jacket
Why we love it: Although it’s hard to forget 1970’s Trog, in which Crawford played an anthropologist trying to talk to monkey-people, Ms. Crawford was probably driven most off the edge having to star in this super-low-budget William Castle flick. But she still manages to deliver a nuanced performance… even while chopping people’s heads off.
6. The Shining
The Shining is one of the greatest mind-fucks of all time. Everything about this film is awesome. Danny the creepy boat kid. Shelley Duvall’s frantic, shrieking terror. Dead twins. Hedge mazes. Scatman Crothers. It also contains the most random act of queer sex in the history of horror film. As Jack pursues his young family in complete isolation-induced, ax-wielding mania, Shelley Duvall stumbles through the hotel hallways finally realizing that the haunted hotel is actually haunted. Shaking her delicate nerves most disturbingly is the image of a ghost in a bear suit fellating a ghost in a tux. We see a head-bobbing bear on its knees, Duvall screams, the camera zooms in on the bear and his john with post-ghost bj contentment on their ghost faces, Duvall flees, the audience stares dumbfounded.
Why we love it: It’s not exactly sexy but in a movie full of WTF moments that one shot umm, blows away the competition. (Ba-dum-bum.)
Why we love it: Maybe “love” is the wrong word. No matter how creative the premise might be the thought of getting your cock chomped off never really inspires love. But the tagline is terrific: “The rubber that rubs YOU out!”
4. Psycho
No list of gayische horror moments would be complete without Hitchcock’s 1960 dragtastic classic, in which real-life homo Anthony Perkins portrays America’s first knife-wielding transvestite pervert psycho killer with a Mommy complex. Hitchcock was a famous homophobe, and there are layers of Freudian tripe and allusions to “perversion” in a bunch of his films–not to mention the outright gay Leopold and Loeb story of Rope. But nowhere else in film history can you find a director who took a handsome matinee idol and turned him into a creepy, repressed, homocidal fag.
Why we love it: The cinematography is stunning, Janet Leigh looks great in every scene, and Tony’s real easy on the eyes until he puts on that crooked wig and the dress. Poor Tony never lived down the role of Norman Bates, and the subtext of his off-screen closet life makes the film that much richer.
3. Silence of the Lambs
Why we love it: As “Goodbye, Horses” plays in the background, Buffalo Bill applies make-up and asks “would you fuck me?” No, no, hell no, please God no. Wait, is that a mangina…? The answer is still no.
2. Sleepaway Camp
At the beginning of the film, young Angela watches her father and brother die in a horrific boating accident. While this is enough to drive any young lady insane, what if that young lady is actually a tranny turned into such by the heavy hand of a twisted tranny aunt? The result of these gender-bending eugenics? Murder…
Why we love it: Possibly the only summer camp horror film with a full-on cock shot. It might be Angela’s cock but it is a cock nonetheless.
1. Nightmare on Elm St 2: Freddy’s Revenge
Why we love it: This movie is such a homoerotic romp disguised as a homophobic horror flick we are sure the filmmakers are Republican politicians. Poor, tormented Jesse has a demon inside of him that he tries so hard to suppress except when he is around sexy, shirtless men. Then he has to suck and fuck them. And by suck and fuck we mean violently murder.
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