Porn Star Tips For the Perfect Beach Body!

(links NSFW!)

Jake Deckard
“Stop eating so goddamn much. That’s how you stop being fat.”

Aden and Jordan Jaric
“Our secret to being beach ready for the summer Is to consistently work on your body all year and to diet right. There is no reason to only look good for the summer, you hook up all year round.”

Roman Heart
Works up a sweat by “dusting off the margarita maker that has been waiting patiently in the cupboard for the good weather to return. Summer is HOT in Las Vegas, and nothing cools you down like a kick-ass margarita.”

Ryan Raz
“Stay away from fatty foods! When I need a snack late at night, I have some grapes or a banana and avoid the ice cream and pop corn.”
Nick Capra
“Tan naturally if you have the option. Only the natural sun is gonna give you a great tan. There is nothing more unattractive then seeing somebody who has been either spray-tanned (oompa-loompa-orange) or has that leathery over-exposed tan from a tanning bed.”
Scott Tanner
“I’ve recently started using a vaso-expansion supplement, but if you’ve never taken them be careful: it can pump blood to areas you might not necessarily want to expand while at the gym in shorts…or maybe you do.” [Ed. Note: We do! We do!]
Steve Cruz
“Bulimia is making a comeback! For those of us without a hair-trigger gag reflex: bury yourself in the sand.”

Perhaps just as importantly, the body police told us what they don’t like to see at the beach. Raging Stallion exclusive Ryan Raz hates men in bright colors and floral patterns (anything that “looks like it could be a girl’s”), and porn star escort Nick Capra is turned off by naval rings (“Such a turn-off ! And very Britney.”). The Jarics do not like when your stomach sticks out further than your penis (“that’s called a Dickie Do”) and Roman Heart hates when people hide in the shade.

But not everyone was as focused on what not to wear. Hot and hairy Jake Deckard summed his summer wish for the gay community. “Less marriage talk and more beach-side fucking, please.” Amen to that!

RELATED:

Sydney Dispatch #3: 5 Things American Gays Can Learn from Australian Gays
How To Deduct Lube, and Other Secrets of Sex Work
Dominic Sol’s Hole-Hearted Rimming Advice
Laycations and Six Other Ways to Preserve Your Sex Life After The Financial Meltdown

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Scroll to Top