Poli-Dicking: Our 10 Favorite Election Pornos
Nick Romano brings his thick muscles and New Jersey hair to this thought-provoking film about political activism and anal sex.
Ohio is in the spotlight once again as one of the most important battle grounds of the election. To get a sense of which way the wind is blowing in this swing state, watch a bunch of skanky-ass Ohioans taste each other’s ejaculatory fluid. (Yes, we censored the box cover.)
Depending on how things go tomorrow with California’s Prop 8, this movie might become a Married Men Reality. No matter what the outcome, however, Enrique the cover-boy will still have an absurd goatee. And we will still be single nicotine addicts.
Oafish, lantern-jawed Rick Ritter plays “Al Bore” in this movie, though from the looks of his shrub-like nethers we’d say he looks more like a Bush to us.
The rising phenomenon of Obamacons — staunch conservatives who have moved into Obama’s camp — have given us faith. Maybe we can all just get along. We must make an effort to reach across the aisle, to accept opposing viewpoints, and to fuck as many pale, lanky Southern hick-boys as we can. (Hint: malt liquor is the new red wine.)
Here’s a grinning Cole Reece, trying his darndest to impersonate a ballot, but looking more like that kid in elementary school who ruins Arts & Crafts hour by eating all the paste.
Sticky levers. Stained touchscreens. Is that a democracy in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Yes, this movie follows a bunch of retail queens in a clothing store, and the booth in question is a fitting room, not a polling station. But if you’re wondering why we’ve included this film on the list, then you are clearly not having enough voting booth sex.
We’re loving the White House theme, but to be honest, we’d rather watch Cindy McCain polish Sarah Palin’s bald eagle than watch Seth “Jennifer Tilly On Hormones” Black fuck Dino “Just Plain Ugly” Phillips.
This one’s for you, John McSexyBitch!
1. Black Wishes (1999)
We have just one black wish. Barack, this wank’s for you.