Jonah is pissed that people only see him as a dick, but he doesn’t seem to provide any alternative skill sets other than the wine bottle in his pants. Seriously; it’s the same size as a wine bottle. Here’s a description from an old Rolling Stone article:

Jonah Falcon’s penis is 9.5 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection…Falcon, who stands five foot nine, thinks his penis is perfectly formed, with a fifteen-degree downward curvature at the six-inch mark and absent the blotching, lumpiness and sudden bends that mark some oversize sex organs. A penis this size functions, physiologically, like any other, according to urologists, a claim substantiated by Falcon. His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands — campfire style — from a distance of six inches.

In the clip below, watch Jonah’s ineffective appeal for respect.

The internets are unacceptably devoid of Jonah’s cock shots. Here’s what I have:

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