Out Publishes 400-Word Advertisement Disguised As “Study”

“Wax On, Wax Off: Study Reveals Our Intimate Grooming Habits.” Oh? That’s Out’s headline for an article that wants to tell you, presumably a gay male in their demographic, what your body hair should look like, based on a study. Here’s their subheadline:

“Are even bears going bare?”

I don’t know. You’re the one with the “study.” You tell me.

Recently researchers from Indiana University conducted a study that found nearly 60 percent of American women ages 18 to 24 are sometimes or always sans pubic hair. Half of American ladies between 25 and 29 report sporting the same style.

The hell? Women? I’m not a woman! (Or am I?) I thought this was a study about “our” grooming habits? Unless Out is now speaking to women between the ages of 18 and 29?

While the popularity of the Brazilian wax for women is an undeniable trend, this news got us wondering: What’s going on with guys and their hair down there?

“Waxing is quite popular,” explains Edna Ma, creator of the men’s pre-waxing product Numb Nuts. “I live in Los Angeles and I work in an operating room, so I get to see how people are grooming themselves, since, before surgery, they have to take off everything, including their underwear. I’m not leering or lurking,” Ma assured us, “it’s just more of an incidental observation.” She says a wide range of men, from college-age to their early forties, are taking most, if not all of it off.

Ma, an anesthesiologist by trade, decided to invent her numbing cream after experiencing pain at her own first waxing treatment. And if she was hurting, she figured there was a customer base that must have been eduring the same problem.

Ha. So, “Study Reveals Our Intimate Grooming Habits”? If by “study” they mean “Edna Ma from L.A.,” fine. Indiana University did a study, on women. Out then talked to the creator of a pre-waxing cream about something else entirely—gay men—and they want you to believe that’s a “study,” too? They wrote a headline to get you to think about your body hair, and how you might be doing it wrong. How it might not make you the kind of gay you’re supposed to be be. Edna, meanwhile, is here to help. She created Numb Nuts, a product which Out links to in their article, as you can see above. (I removed the link though; sorry, Edna.)

“I think this is just the evolution of grooming,” she said. “It’s manifest destiny.” And it may just have to do with our culture’s obsession with size, too. As Ma so kindly reminded us, “Your tree looks taller when your hedges are trimmed.”

While Ma claimed that while there’s a perceived element of hygiene and cleanliness involved with the procedure, having hair actually protects your skin. But bare skin, says Ma, is the secret to good sex.

“I think there’s a sexual component to it,” she said, “because you’re just bearing everything out there. It’s just your flesh. And when you have contact with someone else, your skin is actually touching [with] no hair in the way.”

Ma told us that gay men are definitely the focal point for her product, citing the go-go boys she sees in her West Hollywood neighborhood as inspiration…

WeHo go-go boys? What about the bears? The “bears going bare”?

“You’d be surprised who comes in all straight laced, and you’d never know about their secret downstairs,” she said. “He may look like a banker during the day, but…”

Gross.

As if the “shaved banker” look is supposed to imply that someone is wild and crazy? Jesus fucking Christ. If anything, a guy who is completely shaved down there is more likely to be boring and uptight (or a teenage boy), in my experience. It’s the hairy, “all natural” guys who are the nastier, kinkier ones. They’re the ones with the interesting secrets. They’re the ones who are more fun. Shows how much Edna (and Out!) knows about gay men and their sexuality.

[Out]

 

6 thoughts on “<em>Out</em> Publishes 400-Word Advertisement Disguised As “Study””

  1. That picture makes me want to knit Junk Cozies for anyone silly enough to get taken in by this advertorial. A little grooming is one thing, but that just looks chilly.

  2. “He may look like a banker during the day, but…”
    She’s kind of making this sound like its a dirty secret or something… Like the banker into all sorts of kinky stuff bc he prefers going bald?

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