National Science Foundation Employees are Porny Pervs

Chuck Grassley, Republican from Iowa and the senior member of the Senate Finance Committee, is launching an investigation in a report he calls “Abuse of NSF IT Resources.” And by “abuse” the report means “self-abuse.”

For two years, one employee identified as a “senior official” spent up to 20 percent of his working hours “viewing sexually explicit images and engaging in sexually explicit online ‘chats’ with various women.” Investigators say that the value of the time wasted by that one employee alone is nearly $60,000.

Another employee installed cam-to-cam software on his computer to give his willie wings. Then he complained to an IT specialist that the camera was working too slowly. Another employee learned about his co-worker’s sexcapades when moaning sounds started trickling out of the co-worker’s computer speakers.

We find ourselves–while of course outraged at the wasting of our tax dollars–sympathetic to the poor federal employees who, unlike us, are not free to browse porn in the workplace.  Oh, sorry everyone.  Didn’t mean to rub that in. 

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Grassley launches porn inquiry (Politico, via Unzipped the blog)


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