Patti is the star of Millionaire Matchmaker. In the intro to her reality show for the first two seasons, Patti bragged of a "99% success rate" in helping millionaires fall in love. This third season the producers made her change the success rate from "99%" to "extremely high," because she clearly sucks at her job.

Jeremy, I love you, but Tricia the broken-hearted millionairess is looking for a man who will be loyal to her, and you fuck twink-ass on camera. Here’s Jeremy’s shout-out on Bravo’s official website. Here are my screencaps of Jeremy impressing Patti.

And here is the video. You will note its absurdly low quality. This is because I recorded it with my cell phone. What. Never mind. Arch Noble made a better video. How does he do that?

Watch as Patti eyes Jeremy suspiciously when he tells her about his career: "various dancing gigs, various modeling gigs." Then watch as the matchmaker tells Jeremy to take off his shirt and shrieks with glee over his lack of "nubs," which I think means chest stubble. Patti liked Jeremy’s body, so she offered him the chance to paw at Tricia the broken-hearted millionairess at a meet-and-greet cocktail party.

(If you’re wondering, Tricia ended up going on a date with another woman. Slut.)

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