The Sword: What did you think when the gay porn blogosphere first deemed you bigorexic?
KK: I think it's kinda funny.
TS: Do you agree with the characterization?
KK: I consider myself bigorexic, definitely. I have a major body size complex. Porn has a lot to do with it -- I mean, you're naked in front of a camera -- but I've always had issues with being thin for as long as I can remember. So I agree with the bigorexic part but I don't agree when people describe me as big now. I mean, I look okay, I've gained 50 pounds in two years, but I didn't even know how to work out until a couple years ago, didn't know things like having a protein shake after your workout and eating 4 - 5,000 calores a day. Another thing that's hard is having photographers telling me to, like, scrunch up my abs. If I don't eat a fuckload of crap all the time I won't gain weight, but I won't have a six-pack unless I lose all the extra weight and get thinner, with everyone all of the sudden saying I look skinny.
TS: It's weird to hear you talk about being skinny, because you're not skinny. You're in fact big and muscular. I mean, if you saw your twin standing across the bar, would you really think he was skinny?
KK: Well I wouldn't think he was muscular. But you're asking someone who finds himself not very attractive. I guess I wish I did have the bad boy ego. I want to be that 230 pound dude who's in bodybuilding competitions. Right now I'm naked, looking at myself in the mirror.
TS: Hot. What are you looking at, and what are you thinking?
KK: I'm thinking that my back is underdeveloped, my arms and my chest are one area that I can't stand -- and I work on them so hard. I'd rather be an overweight kid, where all you have to do is lean up, rather than this uphill battle.
TS: Why can't you settle with having a hot, muscular body instead of pining after the bodybuilding thing?
KK: A lot of men in porn have a muscular bodies, and in porn you always want to show up with something new to give to the camera. Every time I watch my films I want to be bigger. It's a curse. It's not fun to always be thinking about your body. I wish I'd been born with an obsession with math or science or something, or not being able to put down any book I picked up. But unfortunately I was born programmed to be obsessed with my physical body and it's not fun. Everyone seems to always say, "Oh, you look great! Blah blah blah!" Sometimes I wish I could just see that myself, but every time I look in the mirror I see this thin person, awkward, like a baby horse with really long legs who can't walk straight because it was born an hour ago.
TS: Can't you see that the guys you hook up with are all insanely hot, and that, therefore, you must be insanely hot too?
KK: Maybe I need to think of it that way. I want to be so turned on by my body that I'd fuck myself but I haven't gotten to that point yet.
TS: Well you're an A-list porn star. What do you attribute that to?
KK: I don't know. I think it's pretty awesome, I just, I'm still developing self-confidence in myself. It's a slow process. And I think partly I do porn because of my low self-esteem. I think that's common for porn stars. We get validation through other people who watch our movies.
TS: How about a part of your body that you do like?
KK: I like my dick, I like my butt and when I just finished a workout I'm pretty stoked.
TS: I've tried to gain weight but I couldn't handle the force-feeding part.
KK: I know, I hate the force-feeding, it's not my thing, but I do it so I can actually watch one of my scenes and get excited about what I'm watching.
TS: Have you ever masturabated to one of your scenes?
KK: Um, yeah. Movers and Shakers, fucking Rod Daily.
TS: Was he your favorite scene partner?
KK: It's hard to say. Rod was really cool to work with but I think my favorite scene partner so far was Luke Riley. We had a really great connection in our
Hot House Backroom scene together, he is such a fucking sexy boy. He's someone I have really made a connection with outside of work too. He's my little bro and a damn good performer.
TS: So everybody thinks you're into nasty BDSM Master/sub sex.
KK: Haha no, I mean I think the idea is hot and I've had my share of roleplaying and stuff like that, but I'm much more of a normal sex kind of guy.
TS: Are you still with Tor?
KK: Yes, we're exclusive right now outside of work.
TS: Well that's fun. When was the last time you were in an exclusive relationship?
KK: A while ago when I was in college. I was in a 3-year relationship with
[Randy Blue's] Travis James before he was Travis James. I want to work with him but we're both exclusive so it's tough. One day we will though.
TS: Have you ever gotten DP'd in your personal life?
KK: Yeah I have, it was a while back with my ex and some dude we hooked up with. It was hot but I haven't done it since. I've tried but it hasn't worked. Either I've gotten tighter with age or the dicks have been too big.
TS: Do you call Tor "daddy" during sex?
KK: No, I call him "Sir." I've never called him anything else.
TS: What's the most sub boy thing you've ever done?
KK: I've dreesed up like a puppy dog, I guess.
TS: Did you wear the dog tail buttplug?
KK: Yeah, not the mask but I wore the buttplug and I had handmits on too.
TS: Did you bark?
KK: Yeah, that's all I could do. I wasn't allowed to speak all day long.
TS: When?
KK: Folsom Street Fair a couple years ago. It was probably one of the most intense days for me. My friends were pretty impressed that I could do that in public all day long. I had a T-bone steak chewtoy in my mouth that I had to play with and I wasn't allowed to speak, just growl. But I was a good puppy, not a bad puppy!
TS: And then you got fucked.
KK: Yeah. Puppy dog buttplugs are fun. You can feel them wagging outside of your butt because they're so long. I'm not a big person to play with toys either but that was awesome.
TS: Did you read Luke Cassidy's Kiss-and-Tell-All?
KK: No I didn't. I didn't know where to look for it.
TS: Um. On The Sword.
KK: Oh sorry, I never look at any of that stuff. I'd go crazy if I did.
TS: He said the sex with you was the best he's ever had.
KK: Well that's cool.
TS: Do you agree?
KK: Yeah, I had fun.
TS: He said you were spitting in each other's mouths.
KK: Oh yeah, I'm sure we were!
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In which the Hot House exclusive speaks to me about force-feeding, Sir sex and his body image "curse."
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