Back when the most dreaded gay STD was gonhorrea, a man created a facetious guide to being butch. If you say you're straight on Craigslist, but consistently forget to hide the porcelain figurines when tricks come over, this manual is for you.

A new book reportedly has some fun anecdotes about the Cowboys linebacker Chris Haley, who enjoyed jerking himself off to completion in front of his coaches and teammates, and who incidentally hated "faggots."