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Written by paul
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Monday, 29 December 2008 11:38 |
 A new federal study shows that teens are equally likely to have sex before marriage whether they made virginity pledges or not. The difference is that virginity pledgers are less likely to use condoms. And more likely to have bad hair.
Maybe it's that virginity pledgers are on average uglier than unrepetant sluts -- and ugly people, as we reported earlier, have riskier sex than their hot counterparts. Whatever the case, this new study casts doubt on widespread abstinence programs, which cost the federal government hundreds of millions of dollars each year and which encourage students to be like Britney and the Jonas Brothers in vocally proclaiming abstinence until marriage.
About 8 in 10 of the youth studied had fucked a bitch before getting married. Of the cool kids who did not make a virginity pledge, 36% used condoms. Of those who did make a virginity pledge, only 25% used condoms.
This study comes on the heels of another report last month showing that anal sex is on the rise among teens, largely because abstinence programs give horny teens the impression that anal sex is a lubed up loophole to their virginity contract. Good thinking, kids! Go back to sexting and maybe you'll get through sophomore year without VD.
RELATED:
Earn Money By Fucking a Jonas Brother
SNOOZE FLASH: Virginity Pledges Just Another Way of Saying 'I Only Do Anal'
Study: Uglies Will Let You Put the Head In for Just a Second
There's No 'Herpes' in 'Team' (Except For This One)
Study: 'Virginity pledges are ineffective' (MSNBC, via Joe.My.God.)
Study Reports Anal Sex on Rise Among Teens (ABC)
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