 It's a complicated time of year for us, when folks start dusting off their rainbow beads and Don't Panic t-shirts in preparation for their local Gay Pride hootenanny, and we start getting a twitch in our mouths somewhere between a fake smile and a cringe.
For suburban lesbigaytrannies, it's a terrific time to strap on those Camel Baks full of vodka, descend on your nearest metropolis and dance amongst your kind. Fashion choices aside, truly, we salute you.
But for homos like ourselves -- whether you want to call us New Gay or Post-Gay, or just plain cunts -- the festivities lost their novelty around 1995. We still go and party with everyone else, and we love the fetish/nudist contingent that always brings up the rear of the parade. And we realize that for the kids who haven't seen it before, and for the over-40s who only do drugs on this particular gay holiday weekend, it's still a grand old time.
So yeah, since it will be impossible to ignore, and since we live to be of service to our fine fag friends, here's the schedule of Pride festivities happening 'round the gay globe in 2009. Beer and vodka manufacturers are counting on you to show up and drink, proudly and irresponsibly.
APRIL - MAY
Barcelona, Spain
April 8 - 13
Phoenix, AZ
April 12 - 13
Miami, FL (Miami Beach Gay Pride) - see pics here
April 18 - 19
Las Vegas, NV
May 1 - 3
Long Beach, CA
May 16 - 17
New Hope, PA
May 12 - 17
JUNE
Austin, TX
June 6
Detroit, MI (Motor City Pride)
June 7
El Paso, TX (El Paso Sun City Pride)
June 7
EuroPride 2009 (Zürich, Switzerland)
June 5 - 7
Albuquerque, NM
June 11 - 13
Athens, Greece - see pics from last year
June 13
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
June 13
Indianapolis, IN (IndyPride!)
June 13
Los Angeles, CA - see pics from last year
June 12-14
Portland, OR
June 13 - 14
Rome, Italy - pics from last year
June 13
Washington D.C. (Capital Pride) - see pics from last year
June 13
Birmingham, AL (Central Alabama Pride)
June 14
Boston, MA - see pics from last year
June 14
Philadelphia, PA (Philly Pride) - see pics from last year
June 14
Iowa City, IA
June 15
Baltimore, MD
June 20 - 21
Boise, ID
June 20
Columbus, OH
June 19 - 20
Lincoln, NE (Pride on the Prairie) -- Editor's Note: No one came through last year, but could someone please send pictures?
June 19 - 20
Nashville, TN (Nashville Pride Fest)
June 20
Antwerp Pride
June 25-28
Berlin, Germany (Christopher Street Day Berlin)
June 27
Dublin, Ireland
June 27
Lisbon, Portugal
June 27
Houston, TX
June 27
Paris, France (see link for full France pride calendar)
June 27
Chicago, IL
June 27 - 28
Denver, CO
June 27 - 28
Minneapolis, MN (Twin Cities Pride)
June 27 - 28
New York, NY (Heritage of Pride) - pics from last year
June 28
San Francisco, CA - pics from last year
June 28
Seattle, WA
June 28
St. Louis, MO
June 27 - 28
Toronto, Ont, Canada
June 28
JULY
London, England
July 4
Madrid, Spain
July 4
Porto, Portugal
July 11
Frankfurt, Germany (Christopher Street Day 2009)
July 17 - 19
San Diego, CA - see pics from last year
July 18
Charlotte, NC
July 25
Amsterdam, Netherlands
July 26 - Aug 2
Copenhagen, Denmark (Copenhagen Pride 2008)
July 25 - August 2
Montreal, Canada (Divers/Cite)
July 26 - Aug 2
Stockholm, Sweden
July 27 - Aug 2
AUGUST
Vancouver, BC, Canada (Vancouver Pride)
Aug 2
Reykjavik, Iceland (Reykjavik Pride)
Aug 6 - 9
Reno, NV
Aug 15
Manchester, England (Manchester Pride)
Aug 21 - 31
SEPTEMBER - NOVEMBER
New Orleans, LA (Southern Decadence)
Sept 2 - 7
Dallas, TX (Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade)
Sept 20
Oceanside, CA (Coming Out Day Pride at the Beach)
Oct 10
Atlanta, GA (Atlanta Pride Festival)
Oct 30 - Nov 1
Bangkok, Thailand
Nov 21 - Nov 29
Palm Springs, CA (Greater Palm Springs Pride)
November 7 - 8
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