Apparently Clay Aiken has come out. Don't everyone line up at once, now! After the jump, an annotated history of the longest coming out process in the history of man.
2003: After a friend convinces him to audition for American Idol instead applying for The Amazing Race, Clay Aiken spends several months competing and bringing us such wondrous numbers as "Build Me Up Buttercup" and the Elton John classic "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." He ultimately comes in a close second to Ruben Studdard.
2005: Comedienne and honorary gay man Kathy Griffin coins "Gayken."
October 16, 2005: The Globe reports that Clay Aiken's stylist, John Dahlstrom, is dating Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl, and that Clay has been pestering Reichen with non-stop late-night phone calls. Reichen later denounces guys who date him for fame; dates Lance Bass.
January 26, 2006: John Paulus, former Green Beret tells the National Enquirer about a traumatic sexual encounter with Clay Aiken in a North Carolina Quality Inn. He says that Clay Aiken, after initiating conversation under the screename 'valleyprettyboy,' paid cash for the sordid encounter, fucking Paulson bareback.
February 14, 2006: Michael Lucas offers gross, sibilant John Paulus a porn gig with latin hottie exclusive Wilson Vasquez. Meanwhile, fish-lipped fuckslut Paulus (seen here on the right, with Vasquez) launches a blog to defend his dishonor and personally engage Claymates in battle.
March 2, 2006: Clay Aiken, tailspinning from his bareback inn room encounter, logs onto Manhunt in Boston and invites a new friend to his hotel room. Clay sends over pictures of his blinding torso. His chatting partner responds by making fun of the cheap hotel Clay is staying at. Clay is hurt, says there is "no reason to act all uppity."
November 17, 2006: While a guest co-host on Live with Regis and Kelly, Clay Aiken jokingly silences Kelly by covering her mouth with his hand. Kelly winces, saying that she "doesn't know where that hand has been." Days later on The View, she-man Rosie O'Donnell describes Kelly's disgust as "homophobic." Kelly defends herself, claiming germophobia instead of homophobia, and describing Clay's hand as "cold and clammy." Bootleg video of the incident below.
Busted on Manhunt once again:
June 11, 2007:Page Sixreports that Clay Aiken's official fansite has closed down, citing "extensive unrest" and "tensions" among his rabid fanbase. Apparently the freaks who call themselves Claymates were unable to reconcile Clay's squeeky clean image with his sploogy gay reality.
January 27, 2008: Clay tellsNew York Magazine that he has no sex drive.
May 29, 2008: Clay artifically inseminates a woman.
September 23, 2008: Perez Hilton breaks the story of Clay's coming out. It is fitting that Perez should break a story he spent years massaging. As for us, we applaud Clay. Coming out in the public eye is seldom easy. But when everyone's known for years, it must be a whole lot harder. Just use a condom next time, mmmkay Clay?
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January 26, 2006: John Paulus, former Green Beret 
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