In Honor of Repeal Day: The 5 Gayest Drinks of All Time

People could finally stop drinking bathtub hooch under cover of darkness and come back out in the open with their boozing.  And though they may have been deeply on the DL at the time–and though they may not have been swilling Cosmos at the time–we’re sure the nation’s fag population partied pretty goddamn hard that first night in 1933.

So in honor of this blessed day, we bring you a roundup (inspired by our earlier guide to What Not to Order in a Busy Gay Bar) of the five gayest drinks of all time. 

The Appletini

This drink came up as a joke in one of those “pretending to be gay” reruns of Two and a Half Men.

Ketel Soda, Splash of Cran

Vodka sodas became all the rage as soon as everyone realized carbs were bad, and then when everyone finally went off Atkins and started the Zone diet or whatever, they threw in the splash of cran as a flavorful little treat to themselves. Or for, you know, a little color.  Top shelf vodkas are definitely the purview of the gays, and in our completely unsubstantiated opinion, Ketel One gets called more than your Stolis and Grey Gooses in the average upscale gay venue.

Jack and Diet

Why don’t you have six of these and then pick up a couple slices of pizza on the way home. Your trainer would be so proud.

The Cosmo

You might as well just cut off your dick and start transitioning already, lady.  It’s pink, it’s unwieldy in a busy bar, and its heyday (like the Sex and the City gals’ fertility) is a thing of the past–like 10 years past.  As previously stated, if you’re one to order a Cosmo–particularly in a popular venue where others might see you–we have nothing left to say to you.

White Wine

Just about the gayest/douchiest thing you can order in a bar. But we understand. You’re an alcoholic and you can drink a gallon of Chardonnay and still see straight. So, cheers.

RELATED:

Two Jagers and a Long Island: A Sword Guide to Not Looking Like an Asshole at the Bar
74 Years Ago Today, We Regained the Right to Get Shitfaced and Make Out
Tales of the Shitty: A Guide to Lurkers at the Bar
Tales of the Shitty: The Castro Bartender

RepealDay.org


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Scroll to Top