I decided to watch the first Hunger Games film a couple months ago, just to see what all the fuss was about. Turns out I cried, laughed, and jerked off to most of those perfectly coifed, muscle boys. The new one, though, is way gayer.
Catching Fire, the follow-up, hit theaters this weekend to rave reviews and huge numbers. However, the first thing on my mind after walking out of that theater was definitely not a thoughtful critique; I needed to find the quickest route home to slather on the lube and go to town on my raging hard-on.
Yeah, Katniss is a hottie and has a great personality, but WE need to talk right now about the incredibly homoerotic and thirsty-mouth “water” scenes I almost moisturized my thighs over.
Two short scenes feature our young, hung, and, most likely, full-of-cum heartthrob, Peeta (played by southern gentleman, Josh Hutcherson), and the total panty-dropping new boy on set, Finnick (Sam Claflin) lapping up loads of crisp water from a spigot then diving head first into a shallow pool of water, moaning and grunting like school boys in gay-porn locker room. For PG-13, there is no moral issue here for me.
I know, Josh Hutcherson is teetering on dwarf status, but can you imagine watching him get plowed by this beauty queen?
In related news, Josh has teased the gays with the idea that he could maybe possibly be attracted to a man, and has said, if forced to, he would fuck Lenny Kravitz.
The other piece of business that needs some attention is why this blatant homoeroticism hasn’t been covered on the blogs yet. Can someone please start the GIF machine as soon as humanly possible so I can imagine myself as the water spigot?
For what it’s worth, someone snapped these stills off the movie screen.