Here’s Who Would Play Whom If CockyBoys Did A One Direction Gay Porn Movie


One Direction released a softcore gay porn music video yesterday called “Kiss You.” CockyBoys has the biggest stable of twink and twunk models who are used to hamming it up in high concept movies (e.g., Project Go Go Boy, The Haunting). So, when CockyBoys finally gets around to doing a boy band gay porn movie based on One Direction, here’s who would play whom:

Jake Bass as Liam Payne
Because they’re both the cutest members of their respective groups.


Max Ryder as Niall Horan
Because they’re both blond (and gay).

Dillon Rossi as Louis Tomlinson
Because I bet they both have big dicks.


Ricky Roman as Zayn Malik
Because they’re the only two who actually somewhat resemble each other.


JJ Hardy as Harry Styles
Because I ran out of ideas. (And because I wish they’d bring JJ Hardy back for something other than just a solo scene.)

AND:

Don’t worry, they’re all of age, so feel free to masturbate to this:

 

18 thoughts on “Here’s Who Would Play Whom If CockyBoys Did A One Direction Gay Porn Movie”

  1. I wish they could suck me, fuck me, make me scream and make me moan. I’ll cum out 4 Liters, then I’ll do the same to them.

  2. That pic of Louis screaming is cute and sexy at the same time. Bet he has a big dick too and that’s the face I want him to make while I’m riding it down to the balls.

  3. JJ Hardy seems as baffled by Harry Styles’s scratchy prison-style ink as I am. His shoulder looks like a bescribbled leg cast, or my high-school social studies exercise book. He’s a sexy boy, but impromptu amateur tats like that are just… scary to me. Even on a very young person (all kids do silly things, of course).

    I would still do him, though. It’s the hair. (And the word you are looking for is probably either “ephebophile” or “disgusting pervert”.)

  4. I always liked that pic of Jake, love Dillon and mmm JJ def needs to be in a company that uses him and his talents and I’m not talking boring solos.

    1. 22 juillet 2012 Très très bon article :)J’ai eu de la chance la dernière fois à Paris ! Un trajet Paris > Antony à 3h avec un taxi qui également souhaitait de l’espèce pour 35€ pour 4 ! Mais les perles, c’est rare.A quand des taxi avec des tarifs thaïlandais ?Gael

  5. The only fap-worthy porn star in this post is Jake Bass and even then he went a couple sizes too big with the ear gauges.

  6. “Don’t worry, they’re all of age, so feel free to masturbate to this.” I would, but I’m too busy dying from laughter. :p

    1. Nah, you need some lesbian in order to properly play that Harry kid. Jeez, they need to put him with Justin Bieber and have a vagina-off.

    1. Reunion dinner is always NY's Eve. That's on Tuesday this year. Minor correction: The Black Moss comes from Mongolian desert. It is often mistakenly thought to be sea-weed. It has nothing to do with the sea. Wishing all a happy, joyous and healthy New Year.

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