image from Jet Set Men’s Super Studs: Toxic Water

Edge New England reports that organizers are working with city police to host safety forums and self-defense workshops for residents of Chicago’s Boystown. But an easier solution would be to hire Ricky Sinz as an escort — as in bodyguard, not as in hooker. The ex-marine porn star has already addressed the “fucking gang members” who are terrorizing drunk fags on Chicago streets. His solution? Stock up on mase and pocket knives and “start making examples of these assholes” by “bucking up the pussy ass motherfuckers.”

Of course, this solution will probably not work unless, like Ricky, your shoulders are so broad that you’re unable to scratch your own back. (Tristan Mathews also claims to kick homophobe ass.) But physical shortcomings have not stopped the members of Bash Back!, a group of gay activists who advocate violent revolt against the straight establishment. It’s too bad that they’re completely fucking worthless.

The self-satisfied members presented themselves to this month’s Details wielding blunt weapons and dressed in gangster drag, but their biggest achievements to date are super-glueing a Mormon church’s doors shut and making out in front of the congregation. Sorry, Bash Back!, but your stragies for fighting back are lamer than a flaccid GLAAD banquet in honor of Tyra Banks.

A happy middle-ground to fighting back comes from Slick It Up fetish designer David Mason, who has written about confronting homophobes on his House of Vader blog. In one incident, he chases down a cab driver who called him a fag and spits all over his windshield. In another, he indirectly threatens to punch some anti-gay suburbanites in the face.

And then there’s Dan Savage, whose solution to fighting back is simple. Come out to your families, acquaintances and co-workers, he says, because someone who personally knows a homo is much less likely to become a gay basher. He’s right. It only takes one shameless asshole to change the world.

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Chicago’s Boystown organizes in response to mugging and robbery upsurge (Edge New England)