Gay Porn’s First True Star of 2013: An Inflatable Cow

valentinocow

Move over Treasure Island and Hot House, because getting “milked” is so 2012. In 2013, it’s all about going straight to the source and fucking the cow.

It’s both a harbinger of things to come in 2013 and a reflection of the exciting state of the industry as Dirty Boy Video unveils gay porn’s first breakout star of the new year: an inflatable cow named “Marissa.”

Fucking an inflatable cow bareback is both cost effective (no scene rate) and safe (no testing required). Plus, the straight model doesn’t have to feel like he’s doing anything gay since the cow is obviously a female. Identity crisis averted! Everyone wins.

[Dirty Boy Video: Valentino and Marissa]

 

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16 Responses to “Gay Porn’s First True Star of 2013: An Inflatable Cow”

  1. Jonny says:

    …and I’m done.

  2. ceem says:

    I think it’s a good idea for Cornin Fisher to replace their straight scenes with this.

  3. jay says:

    A few things:

    1) Do they actually sell a plastic inflatable cow with a fuck hole?

    2) This kid can’t be more than 21 and he has a bio-hazard tattoo indicating he’s HIV+ or wasn’t told by his tattoo artist that a bio-hazard tattoo is reserved mostly for HIV+ men.

    3) They couldn’t budget to get the kid a fleshlight?

    • Eddie says:

      The “kid” resembles a young lesbian. I hope he never shows here anymore. He was a real turn off to me with his lesbian face and gross bio-hazard tatoo.

  4. SkittleFits says:

    Hey, at least the cow can’t get HIV?! They should brand all poz performers like him!

  5. Taints For Nothing says:

    I have never known a cow named Marissa. Melissa, yes. Moolissa, of course. Mabel, obviously. But never a Marissa. I just don’t believe it. Zach Sire has more of a chance in finding a loving relationship with an attractive guy than I do of believing there’s a cow named Marissa.

  6. Marty says:

    doesn’t look sexy, exciting or even funny. And I welcome variation and creativity in porn. I actually got distracted in such a short time. Do better.

  7. Stu says:

    Is it too early to nominate Marissa for a Swordie?

  8. SoYo says:

    I get the feeling a 19 year old kid that is willing to fuck an inflatable cow on camera probably doesn’t know that the biohazard symbol can indicate someone is HIV+. My guess is he likes the band or just thinks it’s “cool.” Why bring up the “He’s got the mark! Gross!” nonsense? Just turn your brain off for a minute and enjoy

  9. TWEWY says:

    When did a biohazard symbol turn into the HIV positive sign?

  10. Baby June ....... says:

    I have a new cow, a true cow, a moo cow named Caroline … moo moo moo moo ……

  11. SkittleFits says:

    Go to the Folsom Street Fair, you’ll see plenty of biohazards. Or simply look under the rock where Treasure Island Media lives. I hear it’s going to become their new logo!

  12. HornyCummer says:

    I got a boner…

  13. Mattheq says:

    Is this straight cow porn? Did it have udders? I smell a gay for straight cow pay scandal brewing, thankfully Zach will keep us udderly updated.

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