Gay Porn Op-Ed: I’m Not Gay. I’m A Witch.

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Hey guys, Cody Cummings here. Last week, the Manhunt Daily blog ran a false press release from someone pretending to be me, stating that I was coming out of the closet as a gay man. Today, I see that both Towleroad and Gay.net picked up that inaccurate Manhunt story and have re-printed the press release — a press release that is a complete fabrication. I am not now nor have I ever been gay, but I guess this is as good a time as any to finally come out with who I really am: I’m a witch.

Some people might be thinking, Cody, you’re not a witch, but it’s true. I, Cody Cummings, am a witch, and I have been practicing the art of witchcraft since I was a young man during the late 17th century. I’m 347 years old.

Thanks to the magic of Photoshop (ha ha, “magic”), Next Door Studios has been able to disguise my actual appearance all these years, but now I’m finally ready to reveal my true face, and the true me.

Being a witch in today’s society has been a real bitch (you try flying through the air on a broom in a post 9/11 world), which is why I took refuge in the gay porn industry several years ago. Since then, I’ve found a family who has accepted me for who I am. Stephan, Bambi, and everyone else behind the scenes at Next Door Studios have always judged me on the content of my character and not the color of my skin, which is green.

Some of you might be wondering, but Cody, how did your scene partners feel about having sex with a witch? Well, my pretties, one of the great things about being a witch is that you can cast spells. And I’m finally ready to admit that yes, since the beginning of my career, I have been casting spells on each and every one of my scene partners so that I have appeared to them as the most handsome man they have ever seen. Because honestly, how else do you think any of them would have ever been able to pretend to have sex with the real me without vomiting or reaching for a pail of water to throw on me?

Hopefully by showing you these unaltered photos of who I really am, I can come out from the shadows as the out and proud witch I truly am. I’m just sorry it took being misidentified as a gay man for me to realize how much more honorable it is to be a witch. God, back in my day, they burned you faggots at the stake.

So, to be clear: I’m Cody Cummings, and I’m not gay. I’m a witch.

 

 

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18 Responses to “Gay Porn Op-Ed: I’m Not Gay. I’m A Witch.”

  1. aslogan says:

    Witches don’t want you either, CC.

  2. Karl Rove's Mama's Dead Vag says:

    Yeah, UM, hullo? Is this where I guess a porn star’s height to win designer Simon Dexter granny panties?(with built-in douche bag)

    Or is that the next blog over?

  3. Jesse says:

    Surprised he is publicly revealing his real age.

  4. Spongey says:

    Oh my, serving up some Margaret Hamilton realness.

  5. Jason says:

    Is it too late to drop this right at the tippy top of your images of the year roll, Zach?!

    This is gold. GOLD.

  6. cityguy511 says:

    Elphaba looks hot.

  7. dissi says:

    And I bet even his spells are “simulated!”

  8. Marc says:

    FAN-TAST-IC!! LMAO!!!

  9. Stu says:

    Does he say “Come here my pretty” before every scene and will he melt if a watery cum shot lands on him?

    • Spongey says:

      I don’t think any cum can land on Cody that’s not his own. I suppose we should ask Mr Romero to verify if the sweat or cum made him scream, “It burrrrrrrrnssss”!

  10. Ken Kaniff says:

    That last pic is KILLING me!
    ;-)
    I say, burn the fucking witch.

  11. Whome? says:

    hum, shouldn’t that be “warlock” instead of witch? Well maybe witch IS correct!

    • yaoi rabbit says:

      That’s a misconception due to television and media. The term warlock is not the equivalent of a male witch. Warlock means oath breaker and they’re considered to be traitors. A male witch is just called a witch. Just like a female.

  12. peter says:

    i think he’s hysterical!

    i was hoping he’d at last come out as a 40-something.

  13. Lucas says:

    The man is beautiful. From the top of his head to the tips of his strangely long toes. He has a nice thick cock…and an ass that begs to be plundered.

    But I’ve grown tired.

    For me, it’s not so much a question of his sexuality, but a basic lack of variety. How many times can we watch Cody get serviced before it begins to feel like bad post midlife marital sex? The same thing….over and over. And fucking over… Sure, we’ve graduated to Cody getting his butt munched, and the occasional reach around, but that’s it. Shadow kiss? Really?

    Whatevs… As long as there are folk who are satisfied with Cody’s clips, he’ll be fine. In the meantime, I’ve moved on.

  14. Kyle says:

    You’re not even a witch. You’re just a slimy piece of shit that needs to gtfo of gay porn.

  15. Pierce says:

    Since the late 17th century but he’s 347 years old? Someone failed at math!

  16. medic1 says:

    He will repeat history and end up doing “tricks” in backs of cars for Dimes .
    Yep his demure attracts a certain kind , but this certain kind likes to give his MONEY to his own kind .

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