Inflated Scrotums ‘R’ Us: Our Folsom Weekend Guide

Friday

Roll Call
venue announced on ticket purchase
7PM

The San Francisco Division of the California Boots and Breeches Association is hosting this special Officers’ event in some secret location. Do breeches turn you on? Then go to this catered dinner! And please leave our site. $85

 

 

Piggy Piggy Piggy @ The Cinch
1723 Polk (at Clay)
9PM – 2AM

The ever-soused Anna Conda is back from her Mexican vacation just in time to throw you this popular rock-centric drag freak show. Sequined size 14 platform heels are the best antidote to a leather overdose. 2-for-1 cocktails from 10 to 11. Free.

Skin Underwear Party @ The Stud
9th & Harrison
10PM

There’s no cover at this special event (which we think is in association with SfSkaterboyz.com), but there’s a $5 optional clothes check. Cheap rum drinks will be flowing so expect a crowd of twinks on the sluttier end of the Boy Bar spectrum. Pack some Purel!

Desperate Divas Pageant @ SOMArts
8th & Brannan
7PM – 2AM

And here’s another antidote to all the boot licking and harness wearing: the annual Grand Drag Pageant to crown the calendar covergirl for the 2009 Desperate Divas calendar. Tickets are $25, but proceeds go to the AIDS Housing Alliance (remember AIDS?) and the show should be a real tranny treat. Heklina hosts along with Miss November 2007, Donna Sachey. Get tickets here.

 


Bearracuda Magnum @ DNA Lounge
375 11th St. (at Harrison)
9PM – after hours

Who says that bears don’t dance? Well, we did, but that was before we tried out this sprawling, intimate and delightfully dancey space. There are four DJs, three bars, two dance floors, and one sketchy basement. Apparently there are free chips and Cheetos too. (Even though we were always taught to suspend food in trees when bears were around.) $15.

Boot Pigs @ Chaps II
1225 Folsom (btw 8th and 9th)
9PM – 2AM

Put on those boots, grab ahold of your cute pet potbellied big, and head on over to Boot Pigs. The flyer promises that there won’t be a contest. This means that with no stage to focus on, the men will have to settle for staring awkwardly at each other the whole night. Free.


Gear @ Powerhouse
1347 Folsom (btw 9th and 10th)
9PM – 2AM

Silent auction for used erotica and sextoys. Sterilizing fluid not included. $5.

M4M Fridays @ SF Underground
424 Haight Street
10PM – 2AM

Get off the internet and back to the bars… Joshua J and Frankie Sharp just started this new party at the site of the now (mercifully) dead Drunk n Horny, featuring rotating DJs including Juanita More! and Kidd Sysko. There’ll be go-go boys, $4 Svedka drinks, and that smokey patio out back with the tiny alley the boys piss in when the bathroom lines get too long. $5.


Activate @ The Lookout
3600 16th St.
10PM – 2AM

Cocktail straws, microfibers and muscles.

Saturday



Boot Brunch
@ Rocco’s Cafe
1131 Folsom (btw 7th and 8th)
1PM – 3PM

Tend to your hangover with The Bootslut and his fellow bootlovers at this all you can eat brunch. Alcohol not included. Wait. What? $40

Men’s Spanking Party @ Power Exchange
74 Otis St.
1PM – 7PM

Get your spank on at this dirty Folsom offering. You slut. $20

NIPS…In the Afternoon @ Powerhouse
1347 Folsom (btw 9th and 10th)
4PM – 7PM

Give your pecs a rest and work out your areolas for a change. Finally, a party where tweakers are welcome. $1 drink specials for the bare-chested. $5.


Men in Gear Party
@ Chaps II
1225 Folsom (btw 8th and 9th)
9 PM – 2AM

By gear they mean leather, rubber and uniforms. And no, dressing up like the Abercrombie store greeter thirty years your junior does not count as a uniform.

 

 

This Shit Will Fuck U Up 3! @ The Citadel
1277 Mission St.
7PM – 2AM

This kinkster “play party” is adult-only, even though its heinous name is clearly based on a sixth grader’s AOL conversation from 1998. Bear in mind that this leather dungeon hosts a mixed crowd, so if labia freak you out — and they should — you might want to keep walking. $20.




 

Full Frontal @ The Stud
399 9th St
10PM – 2AM

We Are Champagne hosts this first offering of “Italo Hi NRG Euro Disco Decadence.” Hang out with the skinny trendsters who, much like the leather daddies dominating Folsom weekend, often eschew deodorant.

 
 

The Men of Raging Stallion @ The End Up
401 6th St.
9PM – 6AM

Okay, people, repeat after me: It’s not VIP if EVERY. SINGLE. TICKET. IS VIP. So please, stop fronting like you’re Charlie from Willy Wonka and just get there early, because there will be throngs of people lined up by 10:30. And before you try cutting, remember that every single dude in line is very important, and, except for a few roidbots, a person.


Magnitude @ The Regency Center
1290 Sutter St.
10PM – 4AM

Unleash your inner harness and go wading in a sea of boozy daddies at “the official dance event of Folsom.” Their website advises partyers to leave their cologne at home. It might interfere with all the pleasant wafts of amyl nitrate. $80.


Sunday

Folsom Street Fair
Folsom St btw 7th and 12th
11AM – 6PM

In addition to wandering drunk amongst the throngs of out-of-town daddies in their newly tongue-polished boots, elder locals with saline-injected scrotums and Castro queens donning their leather vests for the first time since last September, come and visit the Naked Sword booth and get your portrait taken with Her Hotness, Sarah Palin!

Post-Folsom Shenanigans @ The Eagle
398 12th Street
3PM – 6PM

This would be the logical afterparty for the fair, mostly because it’s the closest bar outside the fair gates, and by 5ish you should be seeing a line out the door and hopefully a line at the side-door for the Tamale Lady.

 

Real Bad XX @ 1015 Folsom
um… 1015 Folsom
7PM – 4AM

Fuck for charity at this thumpy after-hours leather ball brought to you by Grass Roots Gay Rights (West). There’s a DJ from London! And a raffle! The winner gets a hand-crafted leather bed. (Shipping and morning-after regret not included.) $65 – $90. It’s complicated. Let their website explain.

Cocktailgate @ Truck
1900 Folsom (at 15th)
9PM – 2AM

Suppositori Spelling hosts this weekly drag venue (voted best new drag Club in 2008) around 9ish… perfect for turning your Sunday hangover into a Monday hangover. She works the room, performs and generally spazzes out for your drinking pleasure. Free, but tip the girls for god’s sake.

 

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