Earn Money By Fucking a Jonas Brother

At the legally tender age of 16, the youngest one doesn’t count. Rape isn’t allowed either. (Geez, guys. Way to take out all the fun.)

Many of the Jonas brothers’ fans are predictably riled up, but as far as we’re concerned, the Jump A Jonas contest is a long time coming. It’s not so terrible to vow off sex until marriage. (Or sex until civil union, if you believe some of the rumors out there.) But it is terrible to vow off sex until marriage, as these boys have, when you’re a rich and famous bedroom-eyed twunk fuck-rocket.

If you’re not having loads of anonymous sex as a boi bander, then, well, that’s almost as bad as trying to make a clever comparison when you’re insanely hung-over from the goddamn Castro Street Fair.

Anyway, if you think you have what it takes to end the madness, go for it. You’ll need to provide two pieces of evidence, one of those being raw video footage. Our money’s on mr. Pam, by the way.

RELATED:

The Second Second Coming of the All-American Boy Band Is So Gay And They Don’t Even Know It
Mr. Pam Gets Misty-Eyed Over Pee-Play on Fire Island

Jump A Jonas! (Dear Famous Asshole)
Coming Out Coming? (Queerty)

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