Everything old is new again! Details is talking about straight guys and their bodies for the 379 millionth time, and it’s all very gay! Because who knows how to be gay while still being straight better than Details, the magazine for straight men who wish they were gay? Here’s their opening:
It’s official:
Uh oh. It’s official: Any article that begins with the announcement, “It’s official” isn’t going to tell you something that you didn’t already know.
The male gaze has turned upon itself, and American men are focused on their physiques as never before. From Marky Mark’s abs and the transformation of Marc Jacobs to the rise of Abercrombie & Fitch and the fall of Anthony Weiner, here are the 41 moments that changed the way we look in the mirror.
Marky Mark? Details isn’t just a magazine for straight men who wish they were gay, it’s a magazine for straight men who wish they were gay and still living in 1994. An article titled “America’s New Male Body Obsession” cites Marky Mark, Abercrombie & Fitch, “manscaping,” Baywatch, Brad Pitt in Fight Club, that D’Angelo video(?!), and shirtless pics of Ricky Martin as things that are shaping the way men perceive themselves. And, ugh, it’s one of those awful “slideshows” that’s interspersed with ads, so prepare to click the button about 50 times if you want to find out about all the new things you’ve known about for 20 years.