mixed media

If you are you below-average looking, but still have the audacity to create a hook-up profile on Grindr, then there is now another new website dedicated to insulting you.

‘Raw College Jock Slut’ has had a change of heart. Citing the dangers of bareback sex, he said goodbye to his popular blog and hundreds of fawning readers in a vague and regretful final post last week.

France and Têtu’s Magazine have some of the world’s hottest men. So why is that Têtu’s Mister France contestants are more “hooded anon fuck on all 4s” hot than hot man hot?

How do I get over my usual Monday DTs and flare-ups? With pictures of hairy shoulders, spandex ball cleavage and swamp ass.

A young man’s floppy penis crashed a Toronto, Canada newspaper yesterday. Illustrative photo below.

A aspirational LOL listicle in the new issue of ‘Details’ marks the first time I’ve ever been offended by the word ‘fag.’

Vice Magazine took pictures of a dirty pale man doing things like fucking baloney and sticking his penis into a Shop Vac.

“Tumblr Is For Faggots” is an authoritative collection of juvenile, offensive, awesome internet memes — think lolcats, only instead of cats it’s rapists, handicapped people, wife-beaters and racial slurs. The reason I’m writing about it is that the site’s blogger is hot.

So I was just looking for dick on Craigslist because it’s a slow news day, and look what I found! “News!” It’s a top with a 6.5 inch dick who would like to fuck you, and who has something to say.

On the homepage for the New York Times’ Arts section right now, just above an article about ballet, there’s a big animated gloryhole with a wagging, cock-hungry tongue.

I wrote a mean article about BUTT, and the editor just emailed me suggesting that I’m a shithead, which totally made me feel like a shithead. So I apologized and sent him my cock pic.

Thanks to YVY Mag, here’s the unveiling of the annual Dieux Du Stade calendar — that’s French for “Masturbate While You Cry.” In addition to images of hot men, there’s a bonus image of the most inspiring ass I’ve seen in months.

In America, Men’s Vogue rejects ‘provocative’ ads featuring gay couples. In Japan, Vogue Hommes dresses smooth twinks in pony-tail butt plugs and satin panties. Can you guess which one of the two rags has folded?

Gay journo Brandon Voss gave some surprisingly candid sound-bites to Muzophile about annoying celebrities (Alan Cummings) and celebrities who have warned him to keep his faggot hands off of their son (Janice Dickinson).

This month’s issue of British gay rag Attitude marks the fourth gay cover for Aussie rugby player Nick Youngquest.

This pervy video game from Squirt.org is a welcome departure from my usual sex club experience, in which I see a semi-hot guy at the very beginning, keep him in mind while I keep looking for someone hotter, don’t find someone hotter, return to the semi-hot guy and get rejected by him, get with an ugly guy, force myself to cum then go home and chain-smoke while writing a self-unsatisfied journal entry.

I’d bump nipples with every dude who went to the Ascension Beach Party at the Pines this year — everyone except the color-coordinated fashionistas in the last shot.

18-year-old Caster Semenya has lived her entire life as a woman, but after winning gold at yesterday’s Track & Field World Championships, the 18-year-old South African is facing a mountain of scrutiny because she totally looks like a dude.

Now that the New York Times has declared its love for pot-bellies, it must be time for self-unsatisfied Queerty commenters to go ape-shit on each other.

We’d give grundle-jobs to eleven out of the twelve men below — and if we paid them, they’d let us. That’s the beauty of rentboy’s annual calendar. Here’s your first look.

The man whom Dalia Dippolito hired to kill her husband was an undercover cop. When detectives tell her that her husband’s dead (he’s not), she goes for an Oscar-winning sob performance as a bunch of fuckable detectives stand by and watch her with seething hatred. Let’s file this one under why we thank God we’re gay.

When Current TV isn’t sending journalists into North Korean labor camps, it’s funding Brayn Safi and his bottomless jug of funny.

With a new gay ‘dating’ site called Cumhunt, Factory Videos is trying to corner the online dating market for jizz-slopping fans of population paste. But since every gay dating site around is crawling with semen recepticles, do we really need a Logo when we already have a Bravo?

Things we learned about Out Magazine today: it has defective taste in music and gives bad head.

We’ll spare you the puns about needing a big hard hose for the fire in our pants so you can gawk in peace at these 12 hunks who comprise the just-released 2010 NYFD Calendar.

There once was a lady named Annie who fell for the work of a DJ named Earworm, and she handed over all over her multi-track master recordings so that he could mash up her entire solo career in one track.

Details is like a closeted fratboy whose every “right on, bro!” is fraught with unspeakable desire. The magazine’s latest effort to bury its dicklust under a pile of semi-humor has resulted in a guide to celebrity manboob taxonomy. Find out the difference between a “chest gout” and a “freak teat” below.

This rather genius sex diary reminds us of ourselves. Except for the part where the single Manhattanite’s gross married boss responds to one of his Craigslist profiles as “Piggish Power Bottom.” That’s never happened to us.

Perez Hilton, who Gawker points out was “never the intellectual high jumper,” gave an interview to The Advocate in which he dug himself still deeper into the puddle of PR stupidity in which he usually splashes around.

Yet another reality whore has proven to have been a whore before, and the new season of Big Brother hasn’t even begun!

It’s a holiday weekend, so alas, we at Sword HQ will not be here to help you through your Friday — should you happen to be one of those unfortunate souls trapped behind a computer.