Archive for the ‘hard news’ Category

George Reker’s Little Fuckbitch: A Roundup

Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.

Meet George Reker’s Little Fuckbitch

Show me an anti-gay activist and I’ll show you someone who likes to fuck male hookers. Unzipped  has tracked down the rabid homophobe George Reker’s hooker. Is it a coincidence that the muscle twink sort of looks like Jesus?

When Cherub-Faced Teenagers Kill

Here’s a contender for Gay Hooker Murderer Coverboy of the Year. 16-year-old Daniel Kovarbasich is accused of stabbing a 55-year-old married man to death. Evidence will include a dented pickle jar and gay porn. Also 50 stab wounds.

The Latest HIV Criminal Is An Olympian

Darren Chiacchia, an equestrian who won an Olympic bronze medal in Athens, failed to have the "I just tested positive for HIV" talk with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend went to the police.

The Police Dogs Know You’re On GHB

Dogs are not man’s best friend if that man is a drugfucked circuit party homowhore who lives in Australia.

How A Man Produces 1,500 Sperm Cells A Second

Today for the first time, scientists began to understand how a man can churn out a few of those puppies for every thousandth of a second that he lives.

Duh: Pope Queens Fuck Male Hookers

Happy gay sex scandal day! First an anti-gay senator gets a DUI leaving latin night, and now some fun news from the Vatican, where one of the men closest to the pope got caught ordering some priest hooker room service.

State Senator Gets DUI Leaving Latin Night

The anti-gay Senator (R) likes chorizo, of course. Roy Ashburn from Southern California got a DUI with "an unidentified man" in the front seat leaving Faces in Sacramento (the same bar where Aden Jaric got punched in the face last year!)

Priest Prostitute Couldn’t Master The Stomach Suck-In

A 27-year-old Spanish Catholic priest resigned from his parish after church-goers discovered that he was selling his invisibly-girdled body on the internet and spending all their tithing on porn.

Who Was Alexander McQueen’s Porn Star Lover?

The Daily Beast is reporting that it was Aiden Shaw who broke McQueen’s heart just before the designer took his own life. But a story in the ‘New York Times’ would point towards someone else.

Couple’s Break-up Ends In Suspected Murder/Suicide

Eric Schultise, a prominent and well-liked member of the San Diego bear community, recently told his neighbor that his ex-boyfriend, a former Naval Academy instructer named Bob Agnew, was stalking him. Soon after, both men were dead.

Gays to Animal Activists: ‘You Suck, Go Away’

The biggest gay party on Earth, Sydney Mardi Gras, will not let a long-participating animal rights group to march in the parade this year. Here’s why this is significant.

eHarmony Forced To Pay My Lesbian Roommate $4,000

Last night, eHarmony settled a class-action suit brought by 100 or so scorned gays, including my roommate. I’m glad bitch got paid, but I fear what comes next. Are we going to start banging down the doors of shitty straight bars? Requiring bathhouses to carry tampons? Suing dudes who reject us?

This Week In Guys Whom I Wish Would Rape Me Instead of Their Grandmother

A really hot 20-year-old has been charged with raping his mentally ill grandmother 20 times in the past 8 years.

America’s First Legal Man Hooker: ‘I Am Rosa Parks’

Nevada’s Shady Lady Ranch ended the suspense today with the unveiling of America’s first legal male prostitute. He’ll cost you $200 for 40 minutes — and you’ll need a vagina, because his “spincter isn’t for sale.”

Gunplay Threesome: Hot Until Someone Dies

A man was found guilty today of manslaughter after a gay, druggy, 12-hour-long dungeon daddy threesome ended abruptly with a fatal, accidental gunshot to the head. But was the freak incident really a morbid suicide?

Soccer Coach Feels ‘Violated’ By Player’s Gay Magazine Spread

Argentinian footballer Jesus Datalo is in biiig trouble with his Italian team after stripping down for the gay magazine Romeo Mag.

Scientists To Pregnant Women: ‘Suck Lots of Cock’

oral sex preeclampsia coorelationLast year we learned that sucking lots of poz cock may lower the risk of contracting HIV. Now let’s learn about how a molecule in semen will save certain fetus’s lives.

Arrested With A Makeshift Plywood Gloryhole

A federal government employee was arrested last week for property damage after he converted his Louisiana hotel suite into an anon gloryhole arcade. There’s a child’s sock involved.

UPDATE: Rape Is Not Funny, People Are Telling Me

Mike Diamond funny videoA London man was found guilty yesterday of raping two gay teenagers, but at least he had the decency to give them rides home first.

Man Jailed For Blackmailing Cruisy Homos

A British 26-year-old has been sentenced to three and a half years for impersonating a police officer in cruisy parks and threatening to out closeted married men unless they ponied up hundreds of dollars.

Poz Guys Are Like Terrorists, Sez Michigan

A man who got into a biting bitch fight with his neighbor faces 25 years in prison because he has HIV, which counts as “a harmful device” under Michigan’s felony terrorism law.

‘Dieux Du Stade’ Rugby Team Owner Is So Superficial

dieux du stade 2010I thought that “rugby” was the name of a modeling agency, but apparently it’s a sport too. Some people are therefore angry that the owner of the world’s hottest rugby team, France Stade, is accused of recruiting hot players over talented players for the benefit of the team’s annual man meat calendar.

Stupid Bitch Falsely Accuses Homo of Sexual Assault

A waitress who didn’t realize her boss was gay accused him of trying to rape her, and now she’s going to jail. I say that’s not enough, and propose that a woman who falsely accuses a gay man of sexually assaulting her deserves to be sentenced to an actual raping.

Two Die In ‘Suspicious’ Bathhouse Fire

A popular young drag queen and another unidentified patron died on Sunday morning when a Winnipeg, Canada bathhouse caught on fire during co-ed night.

The Dan Savage Revolution Will Be Televised

pierre fitch tommy deluca feudGenius faggot Dan Savage announced today that he will shoot an HBO pilot next week for Savage Love, the TV show.

Homos Get Slapped With ‘Assault’ Charges For Groping Cruisy Undercover Cops

public sex maryland grimmell state park stingA Maryland state park public sex sting netted eight arrests last week — and three of those randy daddies face second-degree assault charges because they responded to an undercover cop’s advances by — what else? — groping him.

Gay Cop Welcomes Illegal Immigrants to America By Molesting Them (Allegedly)

A beloved gay activist cop in Florida has been accused of patting down illegal aliens. With his penis.

Bill O’Reilly Thinks The Tranny Mayor Dresses Like a Ho

stu rasmussen bill o'reillyWatch Stu Rasmussen, that saucy tranny, get giggled at by Bill O’Reilly and an evil hot chick, who note that he’s “technically a man, right!?” Um, we don’t think that’s how trannies like to think of themselves. Though to be fair, we don’t think they like being called “trannies” either.

Federal Agents Sieze Steroids in Castro Nutrition Store

illegal steroids raided in castroUpon raiding Max Muscle on 16th St, the Food and Drug Administration discovered that Castro muscle queens are all hopped up on beef cattle steroids.

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