Between 9:23 and 10:07 a.m. on the morning of July 4th, three men in various states of coitus and undress uploaded iPhone portraits of themselves in a bathroom somewhere. One of these horndogs was R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe.

It’s difficult knowing that for every year we get older, there is a whole new crop of young studs growing into their Speedos out there.

Welcome back from the long weekend, friends.  To kick things off today we bring you a quick selection of awkward celebrity boners, c/o AwkwardBoners.com.

A claymation figurine named David Gest, who was once married to Liza Minnelli, gave an exclusive interview to a British tabloid about his good friend and client Michael Jackson.

… Or at least his agent likes him to get naked!  Ka-ching!

And because we like to tarry in unsubstantiated rumor territory, online mag Unvogue claims that Anderson will be the unofficial host of their party tonight for the 2nd Annual Men’s Issue, which also happens to coincide with the kickoff of Gay Pride Weekend.

Now that Raging Stallion is tapping former soap stars to fuck men on camera, soap opera casting directors are returng the favor, sort of, by hiring gay actors to play gay characters. Still no soft-focus cumshots, though.

Perez Hilton — wildly successful blogger and wildly obnoxious addition to the cultural Jell-o wrestling pit that is Hollywood gossip — mistook his Twitter for 911 this weekend and tried to use it to summon police to his hotel after an alleged assault by a Black Eyed Pea.

Madonna let Jesus out of her basement for a day so he could storm the runway at Sao Paolo fashion week in his most-watched stroll since walking on water two millenia ago.

Ricky Martin told a Puerto Rican tabloid that his “heart could belong to a man or a woman.” That’s it, Ricky. And your balls could belong to our mouth.