Bruce Vilanch Talks Sex: Nyuk Nyuk …Yuk

At the run-through for last night’s 2009 GayVN Awards, I sat down with Brucie, let him make his lewd comments, a little touchy feely, but quickly shoved my digital recorder between us. For all of his lecherousness, Bruce is pretty non-threatening if you can steer the conversation away from your genitalia. The legendary Academy Awards writer and television personality is thrilled to be back at the GayVN Awards after missing it several years due to his annual Oscar gig, which was formerly held the same weekend.

Bruce revels in the irony of working on one of the world’s most beloved award shows and then the GayVN awards. “I love being involved in the real thing and then in the thing that’s sort of making fun of the real thing.” Best Picture and Best Actor categories are for the birds. Best Cum-Shot is everyone’s favorite category. Bruce also loves the Best Newcomer Award because, as he says, he’s an “old cummer.”

If Bruce had more creative say in the GayVN’s he might add an award for Best Happy Trail.  “My favorites are just the hints of trail that end in paradise valley.” To his credit he says he is trying desperately to develop more proclivities in terms of who he wants to fuck. “If I was a rice queen I could walk into a room full of Nordic blondes and think, ‘Eh, point me towards Hong Kong,’ but I like them all.” I ask what a Bruce Vilanch headlined porn might be titled.  I suggest, “Sexual ABRUCE.” He laughs. “It could be a whole series: ‘Domestic ABRUCE’ and ‘Physical ABRUCE.’ Let’s do it!”

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The Unabashed Queer

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