village” witticisms, we have come up with this lunchtime poll to amuse ourselves (and you, dear reader), because we can’t help but think of poor Mikey Verdugo, the Design Star who wasn’t, but who was a very willing BDSM bottom.
And yes, it is our *thing* to make everything about porn and sex, so here you go… your quick responses will be much appreciated.
Dinnertime poll update: It looks like there are some fans of Martha-Stewart-loving former twinks out there! Contestant Eddie is fast gaining ground on celeb host Todd Oldham for fan favorite…
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And below, a closer look at your choices. Click thumbnails to enlarge.
Our first contestant hails from Illinois, and in addition to studying art history and fashion design, he is also a classically trained countertenor who’s a fan of Handel, Mozart and Strauss! We wonder just how dirty a boy he can be once you whip that sweater off his neck and strap him to a bed of nails, but tell us… would you rather he keep those legs crossed?
At the ripe young age of 30, retired twink Eddie is a Martha Stewart devotee and employee with a penchant for timeless elegance and an obvious love for the vest-and-bowtie trend. He hails from Greenwich, CT, and our guess is the only thing he likes better than a well-styled plate of charcuterie and a perfectly scaled centerpiece is a verbal top with a nine-inch sausage that fits perfectly–nay, comfortably–in that tight little anus of his.
The sassy daddy of the bunch–who goes by the nickname, no shit, “Big Daddy” down in Atlanta where he lives–probably has no taste because he’s been employed by Price Is Right furniture vendor Broyhill, and describes his style as “a mix between traditional and contemporary.” Yawn. But you decide: when the ties come off and the leather goes on, would you be sub to his dom?
This queen looks like the mean one, and in addition to doing design work for Serena van der Woodsen’s fave New York Palace Hotel, he cites “high-end residential work from Manhattan to the East End.” So he’s a snobby bitch, and wouldn’t you just like to cuff him to the cot in your playspace and whip him until he admits he eats Velveeta?
Nubile 27-year-old Preston has already taken his knocks from the best, having been the set designer for the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. For what he lacks in professional experience, the little brunette bombshell probably makes up for in sheer flexibility, so please–vote for him and perhaps he’ll consider a second career in porn, like so many of Janice’s actual models.
The senior member of the cast at age 40, Robert’s happily gay-married in Texas (!) where he and his partner own a design practice together and probably never, never engage in wild three-ways with high-priced Houston hookers involving latex body suits and urinal masks. But you know, if you go for the nerdy types… vote away.
Todd Oldham, Host/Mentor
Having been demoted from being both Heidi and Tim to the young designers, probably because he’s more cute than charismatic, little Todd is back in the mentor role and we have to say he’s our pick for Bravo Star We’d Most Like to See Naked–that is only because we’ve already seen Perry, Ronnie and Ben naked on Make Me a Supermodel, but we digress. We include him here on the off-chance someone out there has a sex tape…
Jonathan Adler, Head Judge
Oh, Jonathan. That sassy contraposto, that winning smile, those absurdly large tie-knots. He may be betrothed to older sugar daddy Simon Doonan, but can’t you imagine these two getting into some crazy scenes…? No, neither can we.
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