For your consideration:
Anderson Gets a Spray-Tan! (video moved here.)
This vintage clip from a pretty dated episode of American Morning features Coop shirtless and dancing around in a spray-tanning vessel to ensure that none of his “bits n’ pieces” are left pale, which is an Anderson-ism frequently used to denote genitalia, and has been getting viewers particularly hot and bothered these days. We love his joke about becoming a tranny in a bikini and the heart tattoo at the end. Simply adorbz!
Anderson Wages War on Scientology! Why? Duh! Because Xenu’s Totally Phobic
Anderson’s January re-airing of an interview with Scientology’s chief Inquisitor into the crimes of Psychology prompted Gawker to wonder what the driving force might be behind his crusade to defame what is clearly a respectable, substantial, and completely legitimate religion filled with really well-adjusted people. It could be because he’s gay and his brother killed himself, which sort-of-maybe parallels how Quentin Hubbard, LRH’s ill-fated gay son killed himself in 1976. Oh! Huh?
Anderson Shows a Little Man the Latest In Leather Gear, Moonlighting as a Festish-wear Merchant!
We found this one on our own and just thought it was funny.
Anderson Kicks it with Kathy Griffin on New Year’s Eve and Sends Ryan Seacrest Cute Text Messages!
We’ve always known that Ryan Seacrest and Anderson Cooper were bosom buddies, as evidenced in the video below just after Ryan finished up interviewing Nicole Richie for Larry King LIVE (natural hair color our ASSES, btw), but according to Kathy Griffin’s new stand-up routine, their friendship is shame-based and she doesn’t approve. The text messaging anecdote is one of particular OMGenius. We imagine that every time Ryan checks his iPhone and discovers a note from A.C. his heart skips a beat.
Spotted: Anderson Chillaxing With His Homeboys At That Kathy Griffin Show Where She Calls His Friendship With Ryan Seacrest Shame-Based!
Sakes alive! A faithful Gawker stalker reported seeing Anderson out-and-about with his pals (pun intended, because we write puns that give Carrie Bradshaw a pun for her money —-zzzzing!) at Kath-Griff’s NYC performance: “He looked great – huge arms and a big smile. Silver-haired perfection,” the source breathlessly exclaimed. Somehow, this one seals the deal on a gay-rumor that has long been established as fact.
When you group all of these together with the fact that he has the most fabulously promiscuous mother in American history, the gayness is indeed inarguable, and we’ll no doubt continue reading these quirky sightings and watching the viral clips as they come until the anticlimactic day when an A.C. “I’m Gay” cover hits People, when we’ll instantaneously lose complete interest and so will everyone else.