Barack Obama: Does He Love Us or Is He Blowing Sunshine Up Our Asses?

He’s Not Going to Let the Lesbians Have Framed Marriage Certificates to Hang in Their Hers and Hers Toilets
If you’re one of those who cares about the gay marriage-vs-civil unions debate, then you may have to compromise your ideals to vote for either Democratic candidate.  Barack is for equal rights and blah blah blah, but, like Hillary, he stops short of talking “marriage,” preferring the separate-but-equal solution of civil unions, and is stressing that we ought to, at this point in the “movement,” be focusing on getting equal protections under the law more than getting hung up on the word itself.

He Believes Homophobia is Un-Christian
In this speech given at a rally in Beaumont, Texas, Barack came out with strong words in favor of equal treatment for people of all sexual orientations, to tepid applause.  Knowing his audience (largely though not entirely, it appears, African American and probably not largely gay, though he was at the time aggressively courting the gay vote in Texas via a televised opportunity like this), he quickly declares, “I’m a Christian… I praise Jesus every Sunday.” Pandering, or just smart politics? We’re trying to decide if we care.

He Only Got Tested for Black AIDS, Not Gay AIDS

While we were busy stretching our throats for Pride, PBS hosted a presidential forum on the campus of Howard University in in which Barack testified to Tavis Smiley and the assembled that while he had gotten tested for HIV, he was only tested for HIV alongside his HETEROSEXUAL wife while they were on a HETEROSEXUAL sojourn to Kenya.

He Hired an Ex-Gay Gospel Singer to Woo Southern Black Christian Voters
Last month the Obama campaign launched the Embrace the Change Southern Gospel Concert Tour headlined by ex-gay bigot and Grammy-winning gospel singer Donny McClurkin (please look for his sex scandal involving meth and a tranny prostitute to appear in news outlets by mid-2009). The gays were displeased.  These red-state faux rednecks on YouTube were amused.

Did We Mentions He Fills Out a Pair of Pants Real Well
It’s totally sexist to talk about Hillary’s maternal qualities and how she’s a cold fish and probably a lesbian, and we admit it’s totally racist to talk up Barack’s sex appeal and succumb to stereotypes about black men’s sexual prowess and equipment.  But we don’t think it counts if we’re just reporting on what unfunny sketch shows say.

He’s a Tyra Male
Barack went on Tyra
and they chatted about family and Kimora Lee Simmons and then Tyra
pulled out a crystal ball and they looked in it and they totally saw
the White House. He’s obviously gonna win

RELATED:
Exit Polls, Hillary and Gays BFFs
YouTuber Accuses Barack Obama of Being a Gay Crackhead in 1999
Drag Queens: “Fuck Hillary, Suck Obama”

Obama Courts Gay Vote (365gay)
Obama Gay Push (The Advocate)
Barack’s Frat Boy Moment (Huffington Post)

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Scroll to Top