Are These Eight Hotties The Hottest Eight Hotties On Instagram?


The fact that I’m asking that question and the fact that I’m about to re-purpose a bunch of other people’s pictures and call it a “blog post” should tell you that either a) I really do hate myself, or b) I wrote this days ago and scheduled it to go live now due to the “slow news day” before a holiday weekend in which I am out of the office, or c) both. If you said “c”…DING DING DING.

If you don’t know, Instagram is an “app” for your dumb iPhone, which people use to take pictures of themselves and then talk about the pictures of themselves with other Instagram users who also take pictures of themselves. This fills such a void in so many lives! Validation is achieved by giving each other “likes” and “<3′s” and “comments” and “favorites,” over and over and over again. Some people, in fact, will indiscriminately click “like” and “favorite” on everything they see on the internet, all day long! Remember when “favorite” meant the *one* thing that was better than everything else? Ha ha. Anyway, Instragram is also just a fun place to see cute guys and maybe stalk them. It is like “Guys With iPhones” for gay ironic twink hipsters (twipsters?) with a modicum of iPhone app fame, but no cock shots :-(

This network of QTs all appear to sort of tangentially know each other in a weird and incestuous way, so hopefully by subjectively choosing my “favorite” eight and then objectively ranking them all by order of least followers to most followers, they will become jealous and get into some kind of “internet fight” with each other?!

#8: “juxxxtin
Followers: 395
Following: 172

#7: “iamsosorry
Followers: 449
Following: 114

#6: “ontheprowl
Followers: 549
Following: 224

#5: “lifeserial
Followers: 552
Following: 118

#4: “jonno
Followers: 833
Following: 177

#3: “pirateprince
Followers: 1138
Following: 772

#2: “yspikey
Followers: 5619
Following: 72

#1: “Cody Tupper
Followers: 1134
Following: 157

Oh. You might have noticed that Cody Tupper doesn’t have the most followers, so why is he ranked #1? Because he’s Cody Tupper.

Who is the cutest person on Instagram? (Besides Cody Tupper.)
Who gets the most inane responses to their photos like “ur a QT” and “super cute smile” and “love that tank top” or “u got a haircut! ;-p” and “sexxxi boy!” or “omg your so cute” and “cute lol” or “lov u bb”?
Who has the best “followers” to “following” ratio?
Which Instragram QT has the Qtest haircut/tattoos/eyebrows?
Who is the single most important person on Instagram? (i.e., the internet)


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15 Responses to “Are These Eight Hotties The Hottest Eight Hotties On Instagram?”

  1. Legend says:

    …no. They are not.

  2. Surfrider says:

    yspikey…….I’m in love!

    • sxg says:

      Yes! He reminds me of a younger Dean Monroe, but that’s not saying that there’s anything wrong with Dean Monroe now. He is still a gorgeous man, and so is Yspikey

  3. Stu says:

    Jonno might need some help in the shower to wash his back, I’d be happy to oblige.

  4. Whaaaa? says:

    The cutest? No. Not even remotely.

  5. Blaine says:

    i hope that cody and that juxxtin are bottoms ;)

  6. MK says:

    As long as you only like white hipsters, then yeah, these might be the hottest.

    • Asenath says:

      You know, if you have different tastes, you might make a blog post with different candidates. At the least, you might get a retweet or a linkback from the original article if the original blogger’s in a holiday spirit. I’d love to see your picks for instagram cutie.

      • MK says:

        Haha…I’d love to. But, sadly, I don’t have an Android phone, not iPhone and Instagram hasn’t put out an Android client. I guess I could do a few “Guys with iphones” links, but that would still seem like some sort of cognitive dissonance.

  7. Aiden says:

    The only attractive on is # 2.

  8. PrnStrBoy says:

    Someone has a type… And that type be HOT.

  9. Alex says:

    Where is aaronhoff?!?!

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