If you missed it, background on the contest is here.
After several agonizing days of deliberation, Chris Porter has chosen the best two entries in the “Which Porn Star I’d Like To Fuck” contest, and here they are.
In 2nd place, the winner of two VIP passes to the Naked Sword afterparty following the GayVNs on September 24th is…
Porno Bobbie!
Porno Bobbie’s entry:
Fucking Tony Buff
Would make my body tremble
While shooting thick loads.
Bound, flogged, and gagged
Tony spreads my ass open
In, out, spit, in, out.
His cock is so thick
Forcing it down my pup face
Would be heavenly.
Looking in his eyes
I get lost in what he thinks
Don’t want to be found
Tony ROCKS leather
Like it was his second skin
Totally jealous
Hot streams of his piss
Splashing in and out my mouth
Would make guys jealous
Tony takes control
”Sit.” I sit. “Suck it.” I suck.
I’m a content pup.
Congratulations, Porno Bobbie! We’ll see you at the afterparty, where you’ll drink and mingle with porn stars, including the subject of your haikus, Tony Buff.
And in first place, the grand prize winner of two tickets to the GayVN ceremony and two tickets to the Naked Sword afterparty is…
Erynn Vaehne!
You are one twisted and creative bitch, Erynn. And I love it. Had I been judging this contest, I would’ve picked you, too.
Erynn’s entry:
WHY I WOULD NOT FUCK BRENT CORRIGAN: I don’t really need 300 words to explain why I wouldn’t fuck Brent, just two: vagina dentata. Look it up, boys. Ok, maybe MY vagina doesn’t actually have teeth, but the danger of vaginas is still very real. A carnivorous little lamb like Brent Corrigan should steer clear of them at all costs. Not just him, but all the men on that list. Because they’re evil. So evil, most people are afraid to speak their true name. Instead we use non-threatening nicknames like, “va-jay-jay.” It lulls you into a false sense of security…and then bites off your penis. I simply cannot be responsible for de-cocking Brent Corrigan. Granted, you could have hours of fun with just his perfect ass, but STILL. Also, I can’t be the only one who hears the word “cervix” and immediately pictures the snapping beak of an angry octopus. (If you didn’t before, you will now.) Sure, my hole is self-lubricating, but in no way does that make up for it being a hellmouth. Not to mention, fucking a gay boy goes against the Fag Hag Code of Ethics. I took an oath to protect and support gay men, NOT put my vagina on them. No, I would never fuck Brent Corrigan. He deserves to be mounted by a beast like Samuel Colt. A real stud; a man who would have him quivering like an arrow-pierced fawn.
Erynn, I’ll see you at the GayVNs. I’ll be sure to introduce you to Brent Corrigan.
Note: Bobbie and Erynn, please e-mail me to claim your tickets.
OMG! Thank you Chris, Zachary, and The Sword for this contest! I had sooooo much fun writing my entry and reading all the entries for the contest! Congrats to Erynn as well for winning first place! You’re entry was HILAAAAAAAARIOUS!!!!! :P
Your poem was WICKED!
my mother is so proud.
no, really. i came by her place to tell her, she freaked out and hugged me and said, “i’m so proud of you!”
i’m still not sure whether to cry or throw up…