An Open Letter To Reese Rideout

How are you? I am fine. I am writing to you today because I have been a fan of yours for a very long time, since before I had a “blog” and before you made your own videos and before you had sex with other men on camera and before you were Randy Blue’s most popular gay porn star. I can remember the first time you did have sex with another man, on camera, for Randy Blue. You were less toned (but still gorgeous) and less wacky and less…Reese. Your partner, Sebastian, had the most perfectly manscaped chest hair in the entire world. Do you remember having sex with Sebastian, Reese?! Were you nervous? You didn’t look nervous, but rather you looked like, even then, you knew deep down inside of you that you were going to be very, very special to so many, many people!

 

Since then, you have gone on to make a lot of videos with a lot of different and dynamic men, though none of these men have been as different and as dynamic as you; that’s for sure. But maybe even better than your sexual videos are your non-sexual YouTube videos. Did you start to make them as a way to broaden your appeal as an entertainer? Do you make them for people who are not fans of gay pornography but rather fans of comedy videos, on YouTube? As a “blogger” and as a gay pornography fan and as a fan of comedy videos on YouTube, I have to tell you that I am a big fan of these non-sexual YouTube videos! In fact, you might even say that I am your biggest fan. Remember your banana video!? And the video where you spilled your soda!? Those were great. But here is my favorite video of yours, as seen on your YouTube channel:

It is a testament to your genius that a video which does not even feature the “real” Reese but instead a paper doll Reese is so genius. Don’t you agree? Sorry, I know it must be weird to be asked to respond to being called a genius! You don’t have to answer that! But you’re probably wondering what the point of this letter is, other than to call you a genius. Well, there is a point. You have entertained me for years, but the point is this: I’m confused.

I do not understand your newest videos. Not one bit!

First, you announced that you made a movie with some friends and/or relatives, but I don’t get it. What is it about? This is the trailer for the movie, which is called Happy Birthday. But, whose birthday is it? Is that integral to the plot, it being someone’s birthday? Is it a horror movie? Is it a cartoon?

I trust that you will explain the meaning of this in time, and I await your explanation! But now this, below, from last week, this can not be real? This can not possibly have an explanation. Why are you beating up a man on the beach? And why is the elf from Lord Of The Rings helping you?

I want to believe that all of your videos, from the gay porn to the dancing doll to the anime horror to the beach brawl, are part of a collective whole. They must, combined, represent a cohesive vision that only you know the meaning of right now, Reese. But I want to know your vision. I want to know your plans and how they will affect the world of gay sex and cartoons and punching and scary movies and beaches on YouTube and on Randy Blue, and in the world at large. I need to know! I am your biggest fan. Tell me, what the fuck is going on?

Love,
Zachary

 

0 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Reese Rideout”

  1. I agree with Zach: I absolutely LOVE his non-XXX videos. I even sent him a love letter on Twitter about this last week before I saw this entry here. I think he’s great! His “All I Want for X-mas is My Two Front Teeth” video was 11/10.

  2. Reese Ride ON!!!!!
    I think we need more sexy goofballs in porn, not less. The day he retires will be a sad sad day for me.
    Reesee, don’t listen to the haters (for some reason, The Sword seems to be full of ’em lately)!!! You are totally awesome! I totally admire people who are not afraid to put themselves out there, even if they are aware that some things can be misunderstood.
    I am looking forward to see Happy Birthday. Not every trailer has to be liner and full of explosions/gore/blood in a true Hollywood fashion. This is different and it certainly rose my interest.

  3. And if you’re not really gay, you should be because you’re so gay it’s not even funny. I’m sure people assume you are often than not.

  4. As for the last video, I expect it has appeal to the people with a gut-punching fetish. As with many fetishes, if you have it – then you ‘get it’; and if you don’t have it – then it’s totally inexplicable… I don’t have a gut-punching fetish, so I don’t get it either; but if Reese ever wants to make a foot-fetish video, I’ll be there! ;)

  5. Oh wow. Well maybe Reese is having fun but everything (from the acting, script, music, effects) absolutely blow on that Happy Birthday thing. And the last video was super lame, I’m sure the guy was in to it, I wasn’t. Oh Reese. Ride. Out.

  6. In order to understand the dementia of Reese Rideout you need to indulge in as much “herbal enhancement” as he does…kind of like the way you have to build up a tolerance to Absinthe. I fear the day when I totally get his humor.

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