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The time has come. Give these glorious suckable nips the recognition they deserve.

And now it’s time for the third and final heat in the reader’s choice Best Nipples Swordie Award for 2014.

The 2013 Swordies continue today with a brand new category and two first time Swordie winners: Jake Bass and Ricky Roman. Their bodies, facial expressions, and overall movements while having sex in their recent CockyBoys flip-fuck scene were the templates for the best GIFS of 2013, and therefore Ricky Roman and Jake Bass share the Swordie for Most GIF-able Gay …

The Swordies Most GIF-ABLE Gay Porn Stars of 2013: Jake Bass And Ricky Roman Read More »

The nomination announcements for Best Ass of 2013 (the first and only fan-determined Swordie award of the year) conclude today with Logan Vaughn. The very definition of “bubble butt,” Logan Vaughn’s insanely round and gigantic ass cheeks are in a world all their own.

The contest for Best Ass of 2013 (the first and only fan-determined Swordie award of the year) continues today with Trenton Ducati. Whether it’s bouncing up and down while being fucked or thrusting back and forth while fucking someone else, Trenton Ducati’s ass is perfect from any angle.

The contest for Best Ass of 2013 (the first and only fan-determined Swordie award of the year) continues today with JD Phoenix, whose ass was sculpted by God and seems to have been designed specifically to sit on dicks.

Somebody glued six of your mom’s back massagers together and made something called “The Orgazmatron,” which is the 2013 Swordie winner for Sex Toy of the Year. Congratulations, Orgazmatron.

Last year, Connor Kline (a.k.a. Sean Cody’s Brice) had the distinct honor of coming in at #1 on my countdown of the “11 Hottest Sean Cody Models With The Stupidest Tattoos Of All Time” due to his absurd “Born This Way” tattoo, but now he might just win something else: The 2013 Swordie for Best Ass of 2013.

The 2013 Swordie Awards continue today with a new and exciting category: Best Visual Effects. After being alerted to the existence of a movie called Werewolf Glory Hole Breeders, it became immediately clear that this film had to win some kind of award. Because how often do you get a movie that has glory holes, breeding, and werewolves all at …

The Swordies 2013: Best Visual Effects In Gay Porn Read More »

The 2013 Swordie Awards continue today with a new category: Hottest Man On Earth/Tumblr. The only two requirements for this award are that 1) the man not be a gay porn star (there are enough other awards for them) and that 2) the man has a Tumblr. Meet Frankie, of “DontDoItFrankie,” the Hottest Man On Earth/Tumblr.

It’s the most coveted award of the year. The award for sucking dick.

This past summer I showed you a behind-the-scenes preview of Cody Allen fucking himself on NextDoorMale, and not only is the actual scene (watch below) even better than anyone could have imagined, it is also the Swordie winner for Best Gay Porn Solo of 2012.

Talent agent and male madame David Forest’s legendary press releases have been introducing, re-introducing, re-re-introducing, and re-re-re-introducing gay porn stars to the world for decades, but it’s the press release re-re-re-re-introducing gay-for-pay gay porn mega legend (and doting father of two!) Jason Adonis that has earned Madame Forest the 2012 Swordie for Press Release of the Year.

It’s so boring, you can’t watch it. And yet, it’s sort of hot, so you keep waiting to see if something will happen. The set is boring, the guys are boring, the dialog is boring. Boring boring boring. Still, the guys are hot, and maybe when they get naked and move past the “plot,” things will get hotter? No, not …

The Swordies Most Boring Hot Gay Porn of 2012: Lance Alexander and Bradley Hudson In “Doctor Knows Best” Read More »

The Swordie for Best Face of 2012 is by far one of the most important Swordie awards out of all the Swordies, and the winner of the Swordie for Best Face of 2012 is perhaps the least surprising!

In less than six months, my favorite gay porn newcomer Bryan Cole took a load to the face and got peed on in a bathtub for a sex toy commercial, was naked and tied up in front of thousands of people, was naked and tied up and not allowed to cum, and got fucked by four guys in the middle …

The Swordies Best Newcomer Of 2012: Bryan Cole Read More »

Sean Cody models are the unicorns of gay porn. Everyone jerks off to them, but has anyone ever seen one in real life? Maybe if I say that I’m giving an award to the best one, he will come out of hiding to accept it in person?

In the past year, Troy Daniels has been fucked by the hottest men in gay porn, and as much as I really want to hate him for it, I have come to terms with my jealousy and will instead award him a Swordie for being the Luckiest Bitch Of 2012. Here’s who Troy Daniels has fucked:

[Note: The Swordies are here! From now until the end of the year, I will be sporadically giving out awards in a variety of categories to the best (and the worst) in gay porn. How are The Swordies determined? Who votes for The Swordies? Don’t worry about it! It’s this simple: Whomever and whatever I want to win, wins.] I …

The Swordies “Need You Inside Me” Of The Year Winner: Trenton Ducati Read More »

Hello and welcome all you Sword readers — even all you in the comment gallery who sometimes need an attitude adjustment. It’s almost the end of the year so it’s time to vote on the Best Movie of 2014, porn-wise.

Taking into account both statistics from NakedSword viewership and the number of times search-engine terms landed users on The Sword when searching for porn star names, we bring you this week’s 10 most spooge-worthy porn studs.

We’re still only two weeks into the new year, so we’re still good to keep making a few more lists. Here, in descending order, are the most searched-for porn stars of the last year, going back to January 1, 2013.

Congratulations to Ricky Roman’s ass. Without it, all gay porn GIFs (and all of life) would be meaningless.